"Captain—!"
"Captaaain—!"
Two days later, a frantic voice echoed down the hallway. The door to the captain's quarters slid open with a bang as Saitō Keichirō rushed in, nearly tripping over himself before bowing deeply toward the man sprawled across the tatami.
"Captain! Something's happened—something big!"
Fūjin Taichi didn't even bother sitting up. He lay flat on his back, lazily flipping through a novel, only shifting his eyes slightly to glance at him.
"Saitō… how many times do I have to tell you?" he said flatly. "I'm not a captain anymore. Old Man Yamamoto already stripped me of that title. I'm just a regular division member now. Call me Taichi, got it?"
"…Y-Yes, Captain—uh, I mean—Taichi!"
"So what's the problem?"
Saitō swallowed hard and blurted it out.
"Rangiku-san… she's causing trouble at the Senzaikyū again!"
"Then let her," Taichi replied without a care, licking his finger and turning a page of Sword Emperor Chronicles. "What's the big deal? Without Old Man Yamamoto's permission, nobody's getting in to see Ichimaru Gin anyway."
"But—this time it's different!"
Saitō looked like an ant on a hot pan, sweat dripping down his face.
"She's drunk. Really drunk."
Taichi didn't even blink.
"And? When is she not drunk?"
"I'm serious!" Saitō nearly shouted. "She got into a fight with the guards stationed at the Senzaikyū!"
That finally made Taichi pause.
Saitō took the chance to rattle off the rest in one breath:
"And then the First Division's disciplinary division showed up to intervene… and she beat them all up! Every single one of them is injured—some pretty badly!"
"…Oh?"
Taichi finally closed his book and sat up slightly, giving Saitō a proper look.
"Did anyone report this to Old Man Yamamoto yet?"
"Not yet!"
"…Good."
Taichi exhaled, then clicked his tongue.
"Assaulting the disciplinary corps is a serious violation. With that old man's temper… Rangiku's lucky if she only loses a layer of skin over this."
"Then what do we do?" Saitō asked anxiously. "Ever since she found out Ichimaru Gin was imprisoned, she's been making a scene every day, demanding to see him…"
"But the Captain-Commander already gave strict orders—no one is allowed to contact Ichimaru without his approval. The guards at the Senzaikyū don't dare bend the rules…"
Taichi rubbed his temples.
"That woman… sometimes she really is all chest and no brain."
Then he looked up again.
"Where are they now?"
"I've already brought the injured disciplinary division members back to our barracks," Saitō said quickly. "And I sent someone to the Fourth Division to request medical assistance."
"…You idiot!"
Taichi's expression twisted instantly.
"The Fourth Division charges a fortune for house calls! Why didn't you just send them over there instead?!"
"Captain—Taichi!" Saitō wiped his sweat nervously. "If we send them to Captain Unohana, don't you think this whole thing will blow up even bigger?!"
He lowered his voice, as if saying the name itself was dangerous.
"You haven't forgotten, have you? Captain Unohana… is the most terrifying schemer in all of Soul Society!"
"…Ah."
Taichi froze for a second, then suddenly realized the gravity of the situation.
Right.
This whole incident could still be contained—for now.
But if Unohana Retsu got wind of it?
There was no way she wouldn't twist it into something far worse. Even if she said nothing now, she'd definitely be plotting something behind that gentle smile.
Especially since…
He still hadn't forgotten.
That damn notebook—"100 Things You Didn't Know About Soul Society"—was still in her hands.
"…Fine. Pay for it upfront," Taichi muttered. "We'll dump the bill on the Fifth Division later."
He shifted into a cross-legged position, thinking for a moment.
"And Rangiku?"
Saitō hesitated, then answered carefully:
"She's still at the Senzaikyū. She said… if she doesn't get to see Ichimaru Gin today, she'll burn the whole place down."
"…And even if the Captain-Commander sends her to the Sōkyoku afterward, she won't regret it."
"…That idiot."
Taichi let out a long, exhausted sigh.
"She's been way too spoiled by Isshin and Hitsugaya…"
He pressed a hand to his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.
After all—
He was no longer a captain.
And worse… he was under house arrest for the next six months.
At a time like this, if anything went wrong, there was a very real chance that Old Man Yamamoto would finally lose his patience—and reduce someone to ashes on the spot.
"Captain…" Saitō Keichirō hesitated, then ventured carefully, "should we inform Captain Hitsugaya?"
"Not yet."
Taichi shook his head. "The fewer people who know about this, the better."
As he spoke, he raised his right hand and casually grasped at the air twice. A moment later, a black vial marked with a skull symbol appeared in his palm.
"Captain?!" Saitō's eyes widened in shock. "D-Don't tell me… you're planning to use a memory-altering spray to erase the disciplinary squad's memories?! That's a serious crime in Soul Society!"
"What's there to be afraid of?" Taichi shrugged. "If anything goes wrong, I'll take the fall. I'm already suspended anyway—worst case, I spend the rest of my life as a regular division member."
"…Captain, you really are something else!"
Saitō immediately gave him a thumbs-up, his face full of admiration.
"If Captain Ichimaru knew you were willing to go this far for him, he'd definitely be moved!"
"Oh?" Taichi raised a brow. "And you're not moved?"
"I—I am! Of course I am!"
"Good." Taichi nodded seriously. "Then I'll leave this to you."
"Wait—huh?!"
Before Saitō could react, Taichi stuffed the vial into his hands and patted him on the shoulder.
"Do a good job. In the future, I'll personally appoint you as the next captain!"
"..."
Saitō's expression collapsed on the spot, on the verge of tears.
Please… stop making empty promises…
Since when was it up to you to decide who becomes captain?!
"Shk—!"
Taichi lifted his left hand and traced a cross in midair. Instantly, a pitch-black spatial rift tore open before him—his signature move.
The Jūji Jigen Zan (Cross-Dimensional Slash).
"Captain! Where are you going now?!" Saitō blurted out. "Have you forgotten? The Captain-Commander ordered you confined to the Ninth Division barracks for six months!"
"Of course I remember."
Taichi glanced back over his shoulder, flashing an easy grin.
"But if I don't break the rules… how are you ever going to get your shot at becoming captain?"
And with that—
He stepped into the rift and vanished.
"..."
Saitō could only force a bitter smile. Clutching the memory-altering spray, he turned and left the captain's room, soon disappearing into the dense grove of blooming begonia trees.
—
Meanwhile, in the Human World—Karakura Town.
Inside Kurosaki Clinic.
Fresh from his Hollowfication training at the Visoreds' hideout, Kurosaki Ichigo slowly pushed open the front door.
It was already past 7 PM.
Strangely enough… today, he wasn't greeted by Kurosaki Isshin's usual "loving" ambush.
"I'm home…"
Bruised and battered, Ichigo stepped inside—only to find Isshin sitting stiffly at the dining table, arms crossed, staring at him in silence.
"Big brother~"
Kurosaki Karin looked up from her meal and greeted him casually.
Meanwhile, Yuzu had already rushed to the rice cooker, carefully serving him a heaping bowl of rice.
"You guys eat… I'm not hungry."
Ichigo's voice was low and drained. Without another word, he dragged himself toward his room.
Click.
The door shut, cutting off the concerned gazes behind him.
"Big brother…" Yuzu stood there, holding the bowl, confusion and worry written all over her face.
"Yuzu…" Isshin let out a heavy sigh. "Leave him be. Let's eat."
"But…"
"No buts. He'll be fine."
Karin pushed her empty bowl toward Yuzu.
"Here. Another serving."
"…Okay!"
And just like that, the quiet tension at the dinner table lingered—unspoken, but impossible to ignore.