I smiled after a very long time. In fact, I couldn't stop smiling. I bought flowers on my way home—fresh sunflowers glowing in the hues of the golden hour. The air felt fresh, carrying the promise of new rain on the horizon.
I cooked pasta, the sound of refreshments cracking open slowly breaking the ice in the cool breeze. I enjoyed the rain pouring down from my balcony, tiny drops splattering on my face and on the sunflower I had bought. It was peaceful—so peaceful that I felt like I could die right there and be content.
I spent the whole night outside, watching the rain and then the sky slowly cover itself in thick clouds. I watched what played inside my mind too—the curtains fluttering gently with the wind, the soft rustle they made.
Vick sat beside me. He smiled softly, his eyes relaxed and focused on me. His long fingers brushed through my hair and held my face. He leaned closer, and with each second my heart beat rose. Then he kissed me. The light press of his lips felt like a weight that would never be lifted.
This happened, but I didn't see him. I imagined it again and again until I fell asleep outside in the cold weather, my body wet and chilled, but my heart warm.
The next day, I woke up to the sound of dishes slamming against the wall, which was much louder on the balcony. Yet, I wasn't annoyed. I looked at the flowers—water droplets clinging to the petals. The sun rose between the buildings, smoke or clouds drifting across it; I couldn't tell which, but it looked beautiful.
My day began. I took a long shower, rinsing off the sweat and the cold. I tried a couple of outfits to see which one looked good. After almost an hour, I decided to go with the first one I had picked. I was running late, so I didn't have time for the mental struggle between lipstick and lip gloss.
I caught my bus. It was empty and quiet. Soon, I reached the office, and there was Jan, our new employee—my lifeline for rent, food, and so on. I smiled briefly.
"Hi, you're early," I said, stepping in first because I was on a mission.
"Yes, I woke up early. Are they all going to be late?" Jane asked after a pause.
Well, I had been very late yesterday—two hours late, in fact. Some were still taking coffee breaks when I entered.
"Yeah, probably. We don't actually have work until our lead gets here," I replied, taking out my purse.
"What happened to your leg?" I asked, noticing the big bandage wrapped around it. It was hard to miss.
"Nothing big. I just fell down the stairs yesterday. You were resting, so you might not have noticed," Jane replied.
Resting was a sugar-coated way of saying I had been sleeping on the job when I was perfectly fine.
"Do you want some coffee?" I asked.
"I don't drink coffee. If you could get me a milkshake, that would be great," Jane said.
"I'll go get it," I smiled and left my seat.
I had been smiling a lot today. It felt strange. Had the universe finally shown mercy? Would things work out the way I wanted from now on?
I hoped so. One cold coffee and one milkshake. I didn't ask for the flavor—chocolate should be fine.
When I returned, she was still alone, checking her phone.
"Here," I said, handing her the tin.
After a moment of silence, she asked,
"So, you and Vick used to work together?"
I almost choked.
"Yeah. Same company, different teams," I replied, glancing at her.
"You were close?" Jane asked a question I didn't want to answer.
"I wasn't especially close or anything. He was outgoing with everyone. We collaborated on a project, and my term ended right after that," I said, carefully calculating each word. I didn't want to misstep to admit that I kissed a married man, that I was in love with him, or that he had kissed me yesterday while I was asleep.
"Don't misunderstand," Jane said quickly. "It's just that he saved me yesterday. I twisted my ankle; it could've gotten worse, but he helped me. I wanted to show my appreciation. I asked him out for dinner, but he was being modest. I don't know what else to do."
A faint blush crept onto her cheeks.
Okay. He helped someone in need and turned down a dinner date. That was good.
So why did my chest feel uneasy?
I would have told her to buy him a coffee—just like I had done to excel my mission—but she wasn't looking for that.
"Maybe ask him again after a few days. You just met him, so he might've felt distant. Or you could give him a box of chocolates—I've seen a lot of women do that," I said, noticing her interest in the conversation fade, along with her attention toward me.
"Have you ever given him that?" she asked instantly, her face freezing.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked like that. I didn't mean anything bad," Jane added quickly.
"I haven't. I didn't owe him any favors," I replied, holding back the rest of my words.
"Oh. Nice. Thanks for the advice," Jane said, just as Sara entered the room.
The day ended. One more day to go until Harry arrives.
Maybe I could start with friendship—gather some intel. I never thought I'd be this desperate. I wasn't sure why I agreed to do this in the first place.
But I couldn't afford to be on the streets.
That would ruin me, for real.