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Two days had passed since I woke up. I was celestine again, at least in body. But, everything was different.
For starters I had spoken with my real voice, and everyone around me had heard every word.
Elara, Celestine's nanny, insisted I must have hit my head when I threw myself into the lake. She concluded I had a concussion. My speech was a little disoriented, she claimed.
Hovering around like a mother hen, brows arched with worry as she searched for a solution. She had summoned four different physicians, each more decorated than the last.
They examined, whispered among themselves, yet everyone of them came with the same conclusion,
"There is nothing wrong with Lady Celestine".
But that didn't ease her doubts, not even a little. She watched me with the kind of stare only a woman who raised a child could give. A quiet, heavy knowing.
Call it a mother's instinct or whatsoever. But she could tell. Something was different.
And she was right.
I wasn't celestine at all. I was myself.
I had gone through four loops already, with the same brutal ending, where I died every single time.
Not because I enjoyed dying.
Or because I gave up.
But because I couldn't operate outside the normal behavior of the villainess Celestine. Every instincts every line of dialogue, every event, dragged me back into the role of the villainess celestine
She was fated to have a miserable ending and her actions led her toward it. No matter how I spoke, or tried to prevent events from happening, the story always snapped me into place.
But now, things were off.
The world wasn't acting the way it used to. People aren't behaving how they are supposed to. I wasn't speaking with celestine's voice and the loop didn't reset to the beginning of the story.
Everything had shifted.
And what made it so, was currently floating right in front of me. A blue pop up icon.
The same one I have been staring at for the past three hours.
One thing was for sure, I could speak as myself without words from the original story spurring out, and everyone acted and responded in line with my actions and reactions and not from the original story.
I sat cross legs in the garden pavilion. My chin rested lazily upon my hand, my gaze locked on the glowing icon hovering above my head
A few chortles drifted from the maids nearby, followed by nervous snickers and whispered gossip they thought I couldn't hear.
"Is the lady talking to herself again?"
"Poor thing… the lake must have rattled her brain"
They mocked.
Let them talk, I could not care less about their whispers.
But right now?. Right now, I couldn't bother even the slightest. I had been given the task to rewrite the stories ending.
Maybe that's why I could operate outside of the original story. Because of this blue icon.
It could also be the reason the story didn't restart properly. Just then, foot steps crunched across the garden stones.
Elara.
Her sharp gaze swept across the pavilion and landed on the whispering maids. Their giggles died at once.
"We do not pay you to gossip," Nanny Elara said, calm and quietly. But her voice carried the weight of a guillotine.
The maids turned pale immediately. Bowing their heads down, avoiding meeting her eyes.
"N…Nanny Elara, we didn't mean.."
"Save it." She flicked her hand dismissively. "Go downstairs, your payment for this month will be handed to you."
Their eyes widened. They instantly knew what that meant.
"But… nanny.."
"You're dismissed. PERMANENTLY."
They bowed stiffly, trying to hold back their tears and control their anger. Then hurried off. Elara didn't watch them leave. Instead she turned to another maid standing by the doorway.
"Gaia. You'll attend to lady celestine's needs for now"
"M… me?" Gaia was shocked.
"Did I stutter?" Nanny Elara asked calmly, her voice still authoritative.
Gaia bowed deeply "Yes….I mean no…. I mean I will do as you wish."
Elara finally approached me, carrying a wooden box, stacked with items. Ribbons, thread, books and trinkets.
"My lady…. She said softly "I brought some things that might remind you of…. Yourself"
"I doubt that…" I muttered, eyes still glued to the icon.
She paused. Stared at me in silence. Her gaze filled with hurt. She was heartbroken. A silence that said… here she goes again, speaking and acting like a stranger or worse, a mentally disabled person.
Elara placed the box between us and began lifting out the items one by one. Needles, thread, button and even an old rag doll with a missing eye.
"Do you remember these?" She asked. I stared at them, not saying a word.
"You always loved sewing as a child, you even went as far as to sew clothes for your dolls" she smiled gently.
I snorted. Celestine loved sewing. " What do you mean?" Celestine hated sewing, she cried every time the needle stabbed her. It was torture".
Elara froze.
"There you go again" Elara whispered, Her eyes gradually filling up with tears "referring to yourself as another person and speaking in that… manner."
It is true, Celestine was a very cultured lady. A true noble as they say. But I wasn't her, I barely received any Noble like training.
And then she broke, soft sobs spilling into her hands.
Alarmed, her scrambled " No… not again, don't cry… you need water? tea?Gaia…tea, now."
Gaia rushed to obey, reaching to pour some tea, as I desperately try to calm her down. This wasn't the first time. More like the 25th time she had burst into tears since I woke. I wasn't celestine, so her behavior was completely understandable.
Gaia offered the cup to me with both hands, as I reached for it.
!!!!!!
The blue icon above my head flashed brightly. My hand jolted. The cup slipped.
The tea splashed across my dress and my palm. Hot burning tea. I jerked my hand back with a sharp cry.
Gaia dropped to her knees immediately, stuttering the words " M…My ... .Lady, Forgive me!, I didn't mean.."
"It's fine" I cut in quickly, holding my hand from the pain. Elara's expression darkened. "You spilled tea on the lady?. How clumsy…"
"I said it's fine…nanny." I insisted as my eyes scanned the table and finally landed on a handkerchief. I wrapped it over my palm. My attention fell on the embroidery design.
It wasn't something I expected to see. Not here and especially not now. Golden Curved lines twisting with scattered dots, sharp stars bursting between them, and soft, petal shaped flowers drifting through the pattern.
What was this handkerchief doing here?, I ask myself. As my sight remained on it.
The one thing that weaved together the fate of Celestine, Lucian and the female lead, Aleena.
The handkerchief Celestine has given to Aleena in the original story. My original story. The same one that eventually ended up in the hands of Lucian, sparking half of the story's romance arc.
"What…., what is this doing here?." I gasped softly
"Didn't I give this to Aleena?".
Elara stiffened, "Who?," she asked, glued at me.
"I… mean the young girl that lived with us for a few days?"
"Oh. You mean the maid?". She let out a relieved laughter suddenly, which had cut me off guard a bit. " was her name alina or was it aliana?" She laughed again, giving me a tap on my palms.
"I can't believe you remembered that." She said,
"Not quite… just a little" I lied. The real Celestine never cared about who Aleena was, until she became an obstacle between her and Lucian.
"The young lady has always been so kind to her maids." Elara smiled, taking a quick glance at Gaia, who nervously smiled back.
Maid?, for a second my mind went blank.
Right. In my original story, the marquis had brought aleena into the mansion as a maid. Celestine had given her the handkerchief unaware that Aleena was her half sister.
Something she wasn't supposed to know till earlier into the story. Frightened that she might contend for Celestine's affection with her father and position as the hair to the marquis fortune. Elara had convinced the marquis to send the child away.
Which he did.
Elara continued, patting the handkerchief " Aleena returned it days before she left, don't you remember?."
"Returned it?". Then the entire romance chain between Aleena and Lucian. The handkerchief scene, the misunderstanding, the bonding moment
All of it was now broken.
What exactly is going on with the story?.
Elara excused gaia from the pavilion, muttering about tea sets and clumsy hands. Meanwhile I stared at the handkerchief like it held the answers to the universe.
If this is back with me…
What happens to Lucian and Aleena?
Then I sighed.
"You know what?, I don't care anymore" I muttered, resting my back on the chair. The story is already messed up anyways. The icon above my head glowed again, almost as though it was agreeing with me.
"This won't do" Nanny Elara said, hands rubbing onto my palm. "I'm going to get a doctor". She said, Hurrying away, leaving me behind in my thoughts.
How am I going to rewrite a worthy ending with the story all messed up?
The icon again glowed. As if it was trying to give me an answer.