The city gate was a massive archway carved directly into a sheer cliff of obsidian. Two demons stood guard on the narrow bridge leading to the entrance.
"Okay, so your cousin stole the sword of the spiraling spiral one thousand years ago," the first guard, a tiger demon with skin the color of dried blood and black obsidian said to his friend.
"Yeah, that's right" the second guard, a smaller, rat-like demon replied.
"And since then, the Spiral World fell into... eternal darkness?"
"Eternal darkness, yeah. Forever dark until the sword is retrieved."
"But if retrieving the sword ends the dark, it's not 'eternal' or 'forever.' It has a start and an end. That's just a long time-out, Stix. That's the worst eternal darkness I ever heard of."
"No, because it's forever until the sword is back!" Stix insisted, flapping his hands.
"That's a conditional eternity, Stix! It's an 'if-then' statement, not a 'forever' statement!"
A shadow fell over them.
"Ho there," a giant skeleton figure, covered entirely in a heavy black robe, greeted them as it stood on the bridge. The voice was a dry rattle of bone.
"Oh, fuck." Sarithagriant nudged Stix.
"Woah," Stix whispered.
"What do you want, thing?" Sarithagriant demanded. "Creepy coming up here gurgling at us."
"Super creepy," Stix added. "Gurgling hellos are not good hellos. It's a bad hello."
"I seek passage into your city," the robed figure repeated, ignoring their critique.
"Yeah? What do you have under the cloak?" Sarithagriant asked, pointing his spear. "What you got? Let's see it."
"Show us your body!" Stix piped up, suddenly animated.
"What?" the robed figure rattled.
"lets see that body"
"I am not showing you my body!" the figure screeched, affronted. "My form may only be revealed to the most seductive creature of all existence! Now let me into your city!"
"Hmm, I don't know about this guy," Sarithagriant muttered to Stix. "Gurgle hello plus no body reveal. It's suspicious."
"Super suspicious," Stix agreed.
"I think we are going to have to devour your soul, friend," Sarithagriant decided, raising his spear.
"Woah, woah, woah, bah wah wait, no!" The skeleton flailed. "I'm a humble merchant of... sulfuric wood! Yes, wood! I want to sell my wood in your city!"
"Okayyyy, I can see that," Sarithagriant said, lowering his spear slightly. "What's your name?"
"My name... is Aristheragit Pristinathera."
"Aristheragit Pristinather, huh?" Sarithagriant squinted. "That sounds like a credible name."
"Wait," Stix stopped Sarithagriant.
"What?"
"Remember that he did not reveal his body."
"That's true."
"And he gurgled at us."
"That's true."
"And that name?"
"Yeah?"
"That's your brother's name, Sarithagriant!" Stix bellowed, pointing the spear at his friend.
"Oh, shit!" Sarithagriant recoiled, staring at the figure. "You're trying to swindle us! Well, I tell you what, smarty-brain with all your thoughts up there! If you don't start making us trust you right about now, there is a guy up in that tower there who is going to try and shoot you with his crossbow. He will probably shoot one of us again, though. He is not a very good shot."
"That is true, Murinax is.." Stix said, pausing to look up at the bat-creature with a crossbow in the tower. "Murinax! You're a terrible shot!"
"Hey, fuck you!" Murinax screeched from the ramparts,
"Fucking Murinax," Stix muttered.
"Please, let me into your city!" the robed skeleton pleaded, his hands rattling together. "Look, I was joking when I said I was going to run around your city casting hexes and summoning a massive skeletal army to take over. I'm not going to do that!"
"WHAT?" Sarithagriant gripped his spear tighter.
"I'm just a weary traveler looking for some rest!"
"Hey, hey, get out! No respite for you, sir!" Stix shouted. "Get away or the crossbow starts shooting!"
"Did someone say start shooting?" Murinax called out.
THWIP-THUCK.
"Oh, shit," Sarithagriant whispered.
Stix looked down at his own chest. "Hmm. Is there an arrow in me?"
"Yeah," Sarithagriant said, leaning in for a closer look. "It seems so."
"Am I killed?" Stix asked, his voice becoming a bit weak.
"Seems so," Sarithagriant confirmed with a grimace.
"Oh, man." Stix wobbled, leaning his weight against his spear.
"Sorry to see it, man," Sarithagriant said, patting Stix on the shoulder. "But hey, you had a good run, didn't you?"
"Yeah... I guess so," Stix sighed, his eyes glazing over. "I wish I had eaten more mutton, though."
"Oh, yeah," Sarithagriant nodded solemnly. "Mutton is great."
"Spent a lot of time running around," Stix wheezed.
"Yup."
"Chasing females."
"Oh, yeah."
"Throwing spears... should've been eating mutton."
"Oh, yeah, brother. Amen to that," Sarithagriant whispered.
"Yes, amen, brother," the skeleton added.
Sarithagriant head snapped up, his grief instantly turning back into suspicion. "You're not going to get into this city acting like you're one of our friends."
"Oh, come on!" the skeleton groaned.
"You rascal," Sarithagriant pointed a finger at him. "It was a good try, though."
"it was a good try"
"Trying anything, aren't ya?" Stix added weakly, still refusing to fall over.
"Yeah," Sarithagriant chuckled. "It was a really good try."