HE'AN MEDICAL CENTRE — EARLY MORNING 7 AM
Lin family received the call just after dawn.
Lin Nuanxin was standing in the kitchen, the tea kettle long forgotten on the stove, when her phone rang bringing her back to reality. She recognized the calling number at once. Her hand didn't shake this time as she answered the call, she leaned against the kitchen counter and shifted her body weight without permission.
The reporting doctor spoke evenly, his tone careful.
He said "She has regained consciousness briefly during night routine checks" and later added "Vitals are stable, No signs of distress. She spoke broken sentence and then fell back into deep sleep."
Nuanxin was stunned when she heard the details on the call, she didn't interrupt him. She listened everything without any interruption, lodging every detail in her chest.
"She... spoke?" she asked at last after a long pause.
"Yes" doctor confirmed, he later added "Very briefly. She seemed aware."
When the call was disconnected, the kitchen felt too quiet. Everyone in the kitchen heaved a sigh of relief.
Lin Zhenhao was already reaching for his coat which was handed to him by housemaid.
He hurridely said "We're going now"
HE'AN MEDICAL CENTRE — ICU CORRIDOR 7:45 AM
The hospital was awake during morning hours were efficient, contained indifferent to individual fear. The corridor lights were too bright for early morning, and the floor was swiped cleaned and polished. Footsteps echoed softly, swallowing the distance of the ICU ward by the family.
Lin family walked faster than necessary.
Lin Yujing has arrived before them, her long black hair tied in messy bun, eyes were rimmed with exhaustion. Their aunt followed behind soon after, her expression composed making sure her expression doesn't surface.
They stopped walking as soon as they reached the ICU glass partition without speaking.
Lin Jingxu lay on bed she had been for week, unchanged at first gance. Her breathing was steady, and her face calm. The machine beside her traced the movement of her health, repeating rhythms, numbers rising and falling with mechanical patience.
"She's sleeping" Nuanxin murmered to herself.
A nurse who has just walked out of the ICU room heard her and said "Yes - A deep protective sleep"
Protective - the word lingered in the air for a long period was unfamiliar and difficult to hold.
By the time noon arrived, It did ever so quietly, as though it didn't wish to intrude.
Inside the ICU, sound came before sensation: the faint hum of machines, the disinfectant smells in the corridors, the distant wheels of a trolley, the careful footsteps of nurses, and hush conversation of the doctors about the patients.
Amidst all of this Lin Jingxu lay still, eyes closed, breath shallow and steady, body heavy in a way that was unfamiliar and yet it was unmistakable.
She didn't need to open her eyes to know that she was awake. Awareness returned before sensation. Memory lagged, but not for long.
The first thing she felt that morning was weight. No pain or fear, but the weight of time that shouldn't be there. She clearly remembered dying—peacefully in Yicheng's arms.
She accepted her death without any resistance, and remembered the warmth of those arms around her, until it finally stopped. Those memories didn't drift like dreams, they stay soldily in her mind, complete and unyielding.
When she opened her eyes again, the white ceiling above was unfamiliar, marked by cracks she didn't recognise. This was not her room she had last seen. Her chest tightened, breathing became shallow, as though something inside her has been squeezed too tight.
She turned her head in all directions, the movement costing more effort than it should have, and looked closely at the glass panels, the dim lights, and the humming sound of machines.
Did I really come back, Or am I just hallucinating? or am I in heaven? The calmness of the thought made her more panicked.
Voices drifted in from beyond the closed door, doctors speaking slowly, choosing words that didn't alarm the family. A nurse monitored her vitals and recited them to the doctor.
Someone noted a brief moment of Jingxu during early checks. Jingxu was listening to them without moving, letting the information pass over her like water over stone. They were discussing about the recovery plan of her body.
They would have never imagined, even in their dreams, that she had already lived a full lifetime beyond these walls.
Her fingers curled against the thin white blanket. The sensation grounded her, reminding her that this body was smaller, younger, and weaker.
Shen Yicheng's exquisite face rose in her mind without any invitation. Not as he looked in photographs or during his younger years or as he had been at the end: seated beside her hospital bed, spectacles slipping low on the tip of his nose as he pretended to read the documents. As these memories passed through her mid, her chest tightened, making it difficult for her to breathe.
He isn't here, she console herself, firmly without bitterness. Not yet.
HE'AN MEDICAL CENTRE — ICU ROOM
The ICU room door pushed open and a nurse stepped in, pausing enough when she saw Jingxu's eyes open. Surprise flickered to her gentle face, before professionalism smoothed it away. She moved closer to check the monitors and whisper gently enough to sooth her.
"You're awake" She said gently not loud enough to startle her "Don't try to speak yet, I'll go get the doctor"
Jingxu wanted to laugh at the instruction she received - not mockingly, but with the tired irony that someone who has always said everything needed to say once before. She nodded her head and let the nurse go.
The doctor arrived inside the ICU room quickly, his gaze sharp but not unkind. He asked simple question, observing her responses closely.
Jingxu answered earlier question with nods, saving her strength. When doctor asked for her name, she forced the words out of her dry mouth, which pained her alot while speaking first time.
"Shen Jingxu" she said her voice hoarse.
The doctor frowned "..... Shen?"
Jingxu widened her eyes, a flash of panic in her eyes, she corrected the error "..... Lin" she said hurriedly "It's Lin Jingxu."
Her own name felt strange in her mouth, lighter somehow, as though it belonged to a version of her that hadn't yet learned how heavy it could become.
"Do you know where you are?" the doctor questioned.
".....Hospital"
Now may I ask "What else do you remember?"
After hesitating for a while, she told them the half truth and half lie "Light and panic"
After getting satifactory result through initial test and was about to continue, Jingxu gathered all her courage and ask one question that mattered more than anything else. She swallowed the pain in her throat and spoke again "What date is it?"
The doctor paused for moment studying her before answering in a soft voice "It's March. Later February has just passed."
"Year", she asked, her voice slow but unyielding.
"2005"
After listening to doctor response, the room seemed to tilt, although she didn't move a inch. A faint ringing of bells filled in her ears, not from shock but from confirmation. Reality settled in and she finally belived into the terrifying clarity. She has been sent back.
After doctor's observation, nurse went out and called the Lin family inside the ICU room. Lin Nuanxin came first, her hurried steps betraying restraint held together by sheer will. Lin Zhenhao followed in, his expression carefully controlled, his tired and exhausted eyes searching for his daughter's face to confirm that the news he received is real. Her eldest sister and aunt followed them behind.
Nuanxin stopped beside her bed, held her hand softly with her trebling hands and whishpered softly "Nu'er..... Mama is here." her voice breaking.
Jingxu last saw her mother almost a decade ago, pale as white sheet, lying on the hospital bed during her last days. Those were difficult times, after losing the business, Qiu family didn't abandon their plans, they had made sure before taking over all the company debt should be bore by Lin family alone, the company and Qiu family won't help, and just like that debt of 110 billion yuan falls on Lin family.
When she saw her mother today, her eyes bright filled with fear that had not yet calcified into grief. She tried to speak to her mother, but she failed, and simply stared at her instead, commiting every detail to memory as though it might be taken from her without any warning.
When the nurse allowed it, her mother leaned down and drew her in the comfort and careful embrace. Jingxu stiffened for a moment, then collapsed into it, her body shaking with the broken sobs. This was real, she isn't hallucinating. She can feel them, she can touch them, hallucinations didn't feel like this, didn't smell like the familiar perfume of her mother.
After calming down herself she managed to say "I scared you - I'm sorry"
"You scared everyone kiddo" Yujing said softly wiping her tears away. " You love to do things like that without thinking about yourself"
Jingxu closed her eyes briefly, after meeting her family and understanding the situation better. She had thought to herself, she has simply never prioritized herself. There was a difference.
Later, when the doctor asked the family to step outside to give some space to the patient. Jingxu lay back against the pilllows, exhaustion pulling at her weak limbs.
Alone she allowed herself the luxury of missing the family who was no longer here. Not her family, not her sisters. But the family who has anchored her during those tough times, the family she had built in her past life - the Shen household, her children, her sister and brother in law, her mother and father and Yicheng. The quiet laughter around the dining table, the last night when nothing had been left unsaid.
I involuterily left you behind, the more she thought, without reproach. I came back too early.
The absence hurt more than dying ever had.