Chapter 604: The Toilet Edict
After Jiraiya's heartfelt explanation, Naruto decided to join the resistance.
"Naruto, Konoha's ANBU are now spread throughout the Land of Fire, with spies everywhere. Orochimaru and I can't move around freely at all. There's one mission that can only be entrusted to you."
Jiraiya pulled a token from inside his clothes and handed it to Naruto.
"Go find the Daimyo of the Land of Fire and show him this. He'll tell you what to do. Just follow the Daimyo's instructions."
"Leave it to me."
Naruto patted his chest and gave his assurance.
He immediately left the Fire Temple without looking back.
After hurrying along for some time, Naruto found the Daimyo of the Land of Fire, who had fled back to his residence in a panic.
"Ah, it's Naruto. Have some time to take a dump together?"
When the Daimyo noticed the token Naruto had inadvertently revealed, his surprise turned into delight. He suppressed his excitement and extended the invitation.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru really were reliable. They had actually managed to turn the Hokage's own son against her!
This time, he was going to make an incredible comeback!
"Huh? Oh, okay."
Naruto scratched his head in confusion, but agreed anyway.
After all, Jiraiya had told him that once he showed the token, he just had to follow the Daimyo's instructions.
Besides, Naruto had been rushing around for an entire day and night. He really did feel like taking a dump.
The Daimyo brought Naruto to the toilet, and the two sat facing each other on the toilets.
"Waaah, Naruto, do you know? Uzumaki Kushina may be called the Hokage, but in truth, she's a Fire Thief!"
"My Daimyo's residence is filled with her spies. Only this toilet is my true position as Daimyo... What is that smell?"
The Daimyo had been preparing to complain to Naruto and secure this crucial ally, but halfway through his speech, a terrible stench suddenly hit him.
"Uh, weren't we supposed to take a dump together?"
Naruto asked in confusion.
"…"
No, seriously, you're actually taking a dump?
The corner of the Daimyo's mouth twitched, but then he thought about it and decided this was actually good. Once the smell spread outside, the spies Kushina had stationed there would believe everything was genuine.
"Naruto, I know you're a kind and good child. You have your own sense of justice. Think about how my son Shixiu died such a tragic death. Is this really something a Hokage should do?"
"This world shouldn't be like this!"
"I believe that in another world, another Hokage must be kind, upright, loyal, and trustworthy."
"Not this brutal widow!"
The Daimyo continued his performance, tears streaming down his face.
However…
Even though Kushina in the Engraved Tsukuyomi world had treated the Daimyo rather harshly, the people watching from the real world, including Naruto, didn't really feel that it was anything extraordinary.
The reason was simple.
In the real shinobi world, the Daimyo had already been wiped out along with his entire clan. And it wasn't just the Daimyo of the Land of Fire.
Apart from the Daimyo of the Land of Lightning, who peacefully surrendered his political power, the Daimyos of the other four great nations had all died inexplicably tragic deaths, with their entire families and clans dying alongside them.
No matter how domineering Kushina was now, she had only killed one Daimyo's heir.
And that heir had participated in a rebellion intended to overthrow Kushina, so there had been a reason for his execution.
Thinking about it that way, Kushina in the Engraved Tsukuyomi world actually seemed rather benevolent.
Naruto didn't approve of what this world's Kushina had done, but the Daimyo's words inevitably reminded him that the Daimyo system in the real world had already become little more than a formality. His expression became somewhat awkward.
"Naruto, wait a moment."
The Daimyo pulled out a strip of white brocade from beside him, bit his finger, and began writing on it with his blood.
"Naruto, this is the edict I am issuing against the traitors. Take this edict outside with you."
"Got it. I'll give it to Orochimaru and Per... Jiraiya."
Naruto nodded seriously.
"No. I want you to personally give it to Princess Tsunade. She is a member of the prestigious Senju clan. When it comes to the Four Generations and Three Hokage, she's the only one left to take the throne."
The Daimyo shook his head.
"Granny Tsunade? Will she help us too?"
Naruto was confused.
"She will. Naruto, you're still young, so there are some things you don't know. Back then, the First Hokage and Uchiha Madara represented two different ideals…"
"I know. Using love to achieve peace and using strength to achieve peace."
"No. Bonded Shinobi and Furry Shinobi."
"…"
I finally got serious for once, and you made me lose this badly. Damn it!
Naruto was speechless.
"To be precise, this actually originated in ancient times. It is an ancient secret that only the Daimyos of the Five Great Nations are allowed to know."
"The Sage of Six Paths not only possessed chakra of every nature, he also possessed every kind of XP." (XP = romantic tastes)
"Yes, the Sage of Six Paths was both a Bonded Shinobi and a Furry Shinobi. He refused nothing and could get into anything."
"His two sons inherited his Sage Body and Sage Eyes respectively, and they likewise inherited the Sage of Six Paths' attributes as a Bonded Shinobi and a Furry Shinobi respectively."
"These eventually became the Uchiha and the Senju."
"Ninjutsu was invented by Indra. Anyone who trained in ninjutsu could only learn senjutsu by combining with small animals. This was the hidden mechanism Indra left behind to guide humanity into becoming Furry enthusiasts."
"Only the Senju, as descendants of Asura, had a chance to resist."
"But precisely because ninjutsu was invented by Indra, Indra's ideals remained dominant throughout the entire shinobi world until the end of the Warring States period."
"That continued until Senju Hashirama, the First Hokage, appeared."
"The two had known each other since childhood. They were one of the few pairs of people who could truly understand each other."
"When the Senju and Uchiha were fighting desperately over whether to embrace bonds or furries, Madara took the initiative and expressed his affection for Hashirama, while Hashirama also openly stated that he wanted to use Wood Release to bind the Nine-Tails."
"The two of them both agreed with the ideals of the other's clan."
"But in reality, the First Hokage only looked simple and honest on the outside. In truth, he was quite scheming. He later took advantage of the Uchiha clan's innate kindness to threaten Uchiha Madara and get him to help establish Konoha."
"Furthermore, during this process, Uchiha Madara's beloved ninja hound, Uchiha Inuna, was killed by Senju Tobirama, leaving him completely without anyone he could protect."
"Speaking of which, there is a rather interesting coincidence. Apparently, Indra also had a little dog back then."
"Indra and Asura could originally understand each other, but then Indra's little dog was made into a dog-meat hot pot by a Bonded Shinobi. Heartbroken and devastated, Indra decided to completely transform the shinobi world into a Furry Shinobi world."
"And in order to stop his older brother, Asura also decided to correct things by going too far in the opposite direction."
"But I'm getting off track. In short, by the time Uchiha Madara realized that the First Hokage had gradually transformed the shinobi world into a Bonded Shinobi world, it was already too late."
"I've told you so much, Naruto. You should understand now, right? As the First Hokage's granddaughter, Tsunade inevitably inherited the First Hokage's will. She is a staunch supporter of the Bonded Shinobi."
"And the very thing Kushina opposes most is the Bonded Shinobi."
"In fact, when Tsunade left Konoha, she was even planning to take her bedchamber attendant Shizune with her, but Kushina kept Shizune behind under the pretext of protecting her from Tsunade's abuse."
"The two of them have had a grudge between them for a long time."
"If you find Tsunade, she will definitely agree."
"Even if she doesn't do it for me, she'll do it to take Shizune back."
(End of this chapter)