Date: March 15, 1990 (Thursday).
Location: Southern Methodist University (SMU) Campus.
Event: The "Remington Scholarship" Tour.
10:00 AM. The Physics Building Lobby.
The tour started well, but bureaucracy struck quickly.
We were standing in the massive marble lobby of the Science Hall.
Dean Harrison checked his watch. "Coach Cooper, Mrs. Cooper, if you'll step into my office, we have some scholarship paperwork to review regarding the 'Young Scholars' program. It's a bit dry."
"We can handle dry," George Sr. said.
The Dean looked at the group of kids. "Why don't you young people explore the lobby? There are some fascinating display cases. Just... don't touch anything expensive."
The adults walked into the Dean's office and closed the door.
We were alone.
"Finally," Meemaw said, spotting a sign down the hall. "That way to the Faculty Lounge. Come on, Missy. Let's go see what kind of snacks tuition money buys."
"I'm coming!" Missy yelled, chasing after her.
That left me, Serena, Eric, and Sheldon standing in the lobby.
"To the Cyclotron!" Sheldon declared, marching toward a heavy door marked "RESTRICTED: GRADUATE RESEARCH ONLY."
***
10:15 AM. The Gatekeeper.
We stood outside the Advanced Thermodynamics Lab. Inside, through the glass, we could see a massive chalkboard covered in equations.
The door was guarded by a Graduate Assistant named Kevin. He looked exhausted. He was holding a clipboard and drinking lukewarm coffee.
"I can't let you in," Kevin said, blocking the door. "Professor Vance is running a simulation. No visitors."
"But we have permission!" Sheldon argued, holding up a brochure. "I am a prospective student!"
"Look, kid," Kevin sighed. "I don't care who you are. The simulation is sensitive to body heat. If I let a bunch of kids in there, Vance will fail me. Go look at the dinosaur bones."
Sheldon looked ready to explode. "Dinosaur bones?! I have questions regarding the entropy variances!"
"Beat it," Kevin snapped.
Sheldon froze. He didn't know how to handle someone who didn't care about his intelligence. He looked at me.
I stepped forward, ready to argue with the guy.
But Eric van der Woodsen stepped in front of me.
Eric didn't try to be tough. He just smiled. It was the same innocent, charming smile he used to get extra dessert.
"Hey," Eric said, looking at the guy's coffee cup. "Is that the cafeteria coffee?"
Kevin blinked. "Uh, yeah."
"That stuff is terrible," Eric said sympathetically. "My mom says it tastes like battery acid. You look like you've been here all night."
Kevin let out a long breath. "Since 4 AM. Vance is a tyrant."
"My cousin said the same thing," Eric lied smoothly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Bubblicious gum. "Here. It's not coffee, but the sugar helps."
Kevin took the gum. He looked at Eric. He didn't see a threat; he just saw a nice kid.
"Look," Eric whispered. "My little buddy here is super annoying. If he doesn't see the chalkboard, he's gonna start crying. Loudly. And if the Dean hears him..."
Kevin's eyes went wide. The last thing he wanted was a screaming child alerting the Dean.
"Two minutes," Kevin sighed, stepping aside. "Don't touch the lasers. And keep him quiet."
"You're the man, Kevin," Eric beamed.
We walked in. Sheldon rushed to the chalkboard, happily muttering to himself.
I walked past Eric. "He was gonna cry?" I whispered.
Eric shrugged, unwrapping a piece of gum for himself. "People hate crying kids, Georgie. It's like... kryptonite. Mom uses it all the time to get better tables at restaurants."
I laughed. "Kid logic. I like it."
***
11:00 AM. The Faculty Lounge.
While Sheldon was quietly judging the math on the board, I nudged Serena. "We lost the B-Team. Let's go find them before Meemaw starts a poker game."
We walked down the hall, following the scent of glazed sugar.
We found a door slightly ajar. I pushed it open.
The scene inside was pure Cooper chaos.
Meemaw was sitting on a leather sofa with her feet up on the coffee table. She was holding a jelly donut in one hand and gesturing wildly with the other.
Missy was sitting on the floor next to her, surrounded by muffin wrappers, watching a small TV in the corner.
Sitting across from them was an elderly Professor with a bowtie and thick glasses, listening to Meemaw with rapt attention.
"So I told the Sherriff," Meemaw was saying, taking a bite of the donut. " 'You can arrest me, or you can take a slice of brisket.' And wouldn't you know it? He took two slices and gave me a ride home!"
The Professor roared with laughter, slapping his knee. "Connie, you are a treasure! A brisket bribe! That is magnificent!"
"It's not a bribe, Arthur," Meemaw winked. "It's a transaction."
Serena leaned against me, stifling a laugh. "Your grandmother is holding court. She's been here twenty minutes and she already owns the room."
"She's a force of nature," I whispered back.
"Shhh!" Missy hissed at us, pointing to the TV. "Erica is about to find out that Kane is her brother! This is the good part!"
The Professor adjusted his glasses and looked at the screen. "Is that *All My Children*? I haven't watched this since my sabbatical in '82. Is Erica still married to Adam?"
"No, Arthur," Meemaw scolded. "Adam is in jail. Try to keep up."
"My apologies," the Professor said humbly. He looked at Missy. "And you, young lady. You said the plot relies on a secret twin?"
"Yes," Missy explained, her mouth full of muffin. "But the evil twin has a mustache. That's how you know he's evil."
"Fascinating," the Professor noted. "A classic literary trope."
Serena was shaking with silent laughter. She squeezed my arm.
"I love them," she whispered. "My grandmother would have called security. Yours is teaching a tenured professor about soap operas."
"Meemaw," I finally said, stepping fully into the room. "Dad's done. We gotta go."
Meemaw looked up. "Already? I just made a friend. This is Dr. Arthur Evans. He studies rocks. He's boring, but the donuts are top-tier."
"And he let me change the channel," Missy added, wiping crumbs off her dress. "He's nice."
Dr. Evans stood up and bowed to Serena and me. "Your family has been a delightful interruption to my grading. Connie, you must give me that brisket recipe."
"If I told you," Meemaw grinned, standing up, "I'd have to kill you. And I'm too full to hide a body."
Serena laughed out loud. Meemaw winked at her.
"Come on, kids," Meemaw said, grabbing two more donuts for the road. "Let's go before the Dean catches us stealing the creamer."
***
12:00 PM. The Drive Home.
The mood in the car was quiet.
Sheldon was staring out the window.
"You okay, Shelly?" Mary asked from the front seat.
"The equipment was adequate," Sheldon said. "But the Graduate Assistant... Kevin. He was irrational."
I looked at Eric in the backseat. He was reading a comic book.
"Hey Eric," Sheldon said.
"Yeah?"
"How did you know?" Sheldon asked. "How did you know to offer him gum?"
Eric looked up. "I dunno. He looked grumpy. Usually when people are grumpy, they just want something nice. And I didn't want you to cry."
"I was not going to cry!" Sheldon protested. "I was going to emit a high-frequency sound of disapproval!"
"Same thing," Eric shrugged.
Sheldon frowned and wrote in his notebook.
*Variable: Bubblicious Diplomacy. Status: Effective.*
I smiled. Eric wasn't a genius. He was just a kid who knew how to work the room.
[Quest Update: The SMU Experiment]
* Sheldon: Humbled (Social barriers discovered).
* Eric: Social Skill "Charm" Unlocked.
* Meemaw & Missy: The Faculty Lounge conquered.
* Family Status: Access Granted.
***
**AUTHOR'S NOTE**
**If you are enjoying the story, please drop a Power Stone!**
I am trying to break into the Top 15 Rankings this week, and every stone helps the Coopers take over Texas!