The cherry blossoms were starting to fall, but the afternoon sun still felt warm on my neck. It was supposed to be a normal day.
"Hamasaki, we should break up."
I stopped walking. The world didn't tilt; it just stopped. "What... what do you mean?"
"Actually, I never liked you," Yoshida Mariko said, looking at the pavement instead of my eyes. "I've always loved your best friend, Maekawa Akio."
"What?"
My brain stalled. My 14-year-old self, standing only 157 cm and looking like any other average kid, felt smaller than ever. My jaw dropped, and I stood there, paralyzed, as my heart thumped against my ribs like a trapped bird. I looked at Mariko, searching for a sign that she was joking, but her face was as cold as stone.
"Yo, Hamasaki!"
A familiar voice, a voice I had trusted since we were kids called out my name. I turned to see Akio walking toward us. He wore a smirk, a sharp, jagged expression that cut through our years of friendship.
"Sorry to say this, but Mariko is my girlfriend now," Akio said. He stepped closer, looking down at me with a triumphant face. "Hamasaki, you really thought she'd truly love you? Give me a break. You're just a waste."
"How could you do this to me?" My voice was trembling. I wanted to ask a thousand questions, but my throat felt like it was filled with broken glass.
"You know you were my best friend," Akio said, his voice smooth and cruel. "And that's exactly why I used you. You were the perfect shadow to make me look brighter."
"Why..." The word felt like it was tearing my chest open. "We've been best friends since grade school, Akio! Why did you do this to me?!"
I cried out like a madman, my voice cracking in the empty afternoon air. I wanted a reason. I wanted a shred of humanity from him. But Akio just turned his back on me, and Yoshida Mariko didn't even look back as they walked away together.
In that silence, the boy who believed in the "power of friendship" died. I realized then that kindness is just a weakness people use to step over you.
Hamasaki watched them until they disappeared into the crowded street. He stood still until evening, asking himself a thousand questions that had no answers.
When he finally got home, his father asked him cheerfully, "Hey, Hamasaki, how was your date with her?"
No response.
He walked straight up to his room, his footsteps heavy. His father called him down to eat dinner a few times, but he still didn't respond. He couldn't eat. He couldn't speak.
What had happened to him was unbearable.
"Why... I finally thought someone truly loved me for who I am," Hamasaki thought, his face buried in his pillow as he cried on his bed.
"Why did Akio betray me like that?"
The pain was a physical weight, crushing the air out of his lungs. Before he knew it, exhausted by the grief, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
[The Graduation Betrayal]
When the morning came, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. "Was that all a dream?" I asked myself, hoping for a miracle.
I headed downstairs. My father, who had raised me alone since I lost my mother at age ten, had already left for work. I sat alone in the kitchen and had breakfast. It tasted like ash.
"Today is graduation day... better get going."
I changed into my school uniform, moving like a robot. Before leaving, I stopped at the small altar. "I'm heading out," I said quietly to the picture of my mother. It was a habit, the last bit of warmth I allowed himself.
The walk to school felt like an eternity. As I entered the gates, the "dream" finally shattered. People looked at me like I was a criminal.
"Is that Hamasaki?"
"What an ungrateful guy."
"I heard he cheated on Mariko."
"Cheater."
The whole school was glaring. As I walked toward my class, a voice shouted out. "Hey, bastard! How dare you show up at school?" It was Akio, putting on a perfect performance of an angry friend.
I tried to explain the truth, but Yoshida Mariko cried out from behind him, "He cheated on me! I gave him everything!"
"What.." I was so confused my head spun.
"Don't play dumb, you moron! We've been best friends since grade school and this is how you treat me?" Akio cried out, acting the part of the victim perfectly.
I lost it. I was about to throw a punch when a loud voice stopped us.
"Hey! That's enough!" The homeroom teacher, Mr. Kazuma, arrived, but he only glared at me. "If you want to graduate, Hamasaki, stop this now. If you cause a problem, you can leave without your diploma."
I had no choice. I fell back, staring at Akio with pure rage. Akio just smiled a private, satisfied smile and walked away with the girl.
I stood there in silence. Tears began to fall, but no one helped me. They just judged a "criminal" that didn't exist.
[The Final Confrontation]
After the ceremony, while the school was filled with cheerful celebrations, I went to the back of the building to be alone.
"Hey, look who it is," a voice sneered. I looked up to see Akio standing tall. He wasn't alone; two other boys and Mariko stood behind him.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay, Hamasaki?" Akio said, though his voice held no regret. "I just wanted a girlfriend. But people need to impress others to get one, right? That's exactly why I used you as a pawn."
"What do you want, Akio?" I asked, my voice hollow.
"Just to make fun of you, of course! Haha!"
The laughter of the group echoed against the school walls. I couldn't hold it anymore. I threw a punch right at Akio's face. He fell back from the force, and then the group jumped me.
"Loser! I don't ever want to see your face again, hear me?" Akio shouted while they kicked me. After a few minutes, they got bored. "Let's go, guys. This loser is just a waste of time."
As they walked away, I lay there in the dirt, drifting into unconsciousness. In the darkness, I saw a dream.
"Hamasaki, no matter what, don't stop being kind, my love," my mother said to my younger self.
"But mother, when I'm kind to people, they want to hurt me," kid Hamasaki shouted.
"Listen to me, Hamasaki. Kindness is a gift... in the end, you will get the happiest life ever."
In the dream, I smiled and promised, "Yes, mother! I'll always be kind!"
[The Death of the Promise]
I stood up and stared at the sky. Above me, the stars were beautiful and indifferent. Tears fell from my eyes, stinging the cuts on my face. My reflection in a puddle looked like someone who had been hit by a brick. My body screamed in pain as I forced my legs to move.
I managed to get home. My father rushed to the door, his face pale. "Son... what happened? Who did this?"
I stood there in silence. "Dad," I whispered, my voice cracked. "Did I deserve this? I stayed kind for Mom's sake. But nothing changed."
My father stood frozen. "Please... let me be alone for now, Dad."
I walked past him and went to my room. Downstairs, I heard him whisper to the picture on the table, "Kuroda, I'm sorry. I couldn't help our son. I wish you were still here with us"
In my room, the silence was too loud. The rage finally boiled over. I destroyed everything I could see. I grabbed a gift Akio had given me and hurled it out the window. I ripped the love letter from Yoshida Mariko into a thousand pieces.
When the storm finally passed, I sat in the middle of the wreckage.
"I'm done believing in romance and friendship," I said, my expression turning as cold as ice.
From that night on, the only person I would ever look out for... was myself.