Chapter 5: Say No More!
Location: City Z Supermarket
"Hurry up! Hurry up! Move it already!"
Staring at the checkout line that stretched out like a long dragon, a certain bald man in a yellow jumpsuit felt his eyes bulging out of his sockets. He stood helplessly at the very back of the queue.
Clutched tightly in his hand was a bundle of discount Napa cabbage and enoki mushrooms.
Saitama was genuinely worried. If he took too long buying groceries and got back late, would King still be there?
The thought of missing out on delicious Premium Beef just because the checkout line was too slow made him feel like life had lost all meaning.
The people around him cast strange looks at the bald pervert in the yellow tights. A child tried to point and say something, but his mother glared at him and dragged him away.
Saitama was long used to these judgmental stares. His face returned to its default, deadpan expression.
Whatever. I'm not going to cut in line. I'll just wait like a law-abiding citizen.
The moment he tossed his loose change onto the counter and paid, Saitama grabbed his cabbage and mushrooms. In the blink of an eye, he vanished from the supermarket.
To the pedestrians outside, it looked like a blur, followed by a sudden gust of wind. All they saw was a vague afterimage flashing down the street.
With relentless speed, it took Saitama less than two minutes to escape the crowded city center. With a massive leap, he vaulted over the barbed wire fence cordon of the Abandoned Zone.
Once inside the uninhabited area, Saitama shifted gears. His speed doubled as he let loose.
Suddenly, the asphalt road ahead shattered. A monster with the head of a bullfrog burst out of a hole in the ground. It whipped a slimy tongue around, flexing muscles covered in bulging veins.
"I am the Great Bullfrog Man! Because I loved eating bullfrogs and was addicted to bodybuilding, I transformed into this muscular amphibian form! I demand even bigger musc—"
Splat.
Before the sentence was finished—and before Bullfrog Man could even scream—his head exploded into a mist of blood.
Saitama flicked his wrist to shake some green blood off his red rubber glove. It was as casual as swatting a fly on the side of the road. He didn't even slow down.
When he arrived at his apartment building, he saw a tall, blonde figure waiting for him. In the man's hands were three boxes that seemed to glow with a holy light.
Saitama squinted. The pink texture and snowy-white fat were distinct, forming a beautiful marble pattern. The thickness of each slice was absolute perfection.
Premium A5 Wagyu!
His attitude instantly shifted to maximum hospitality. With a beaming smile, he ushered Kenji into his home.
"Come in, come in!"
Once inside, Kenji subconsciously scanned the environment.
There wasn't much dust; it was clean and tidy. The furniture was sparse but functional. A bookshelf nearby was crammed with manga, and in front of the TV lay a futon specifically designed for lazing around.
It was hard to imagine that the strongest man in the universe lived in such a cramped, humble apartment.
Minutes Later...
As the hotpot broth began to bubble, Saitama took the lead, dumping in the cabbage and enoki mushrooms to flavor the soup base.
When the temperature was just right, Kenji looked at the plate of premium beef and had a sudden thought.
In the One Punch Man world, spiritual power exists. It can manifest as psychokinesis (ESPers) to manipulate objects.
Although my other stats are way higher, my Spirit stat has technically reached the Dragon-level standard. I should be able to manifest enough telekinesis to move things.
Thinking this, Kenji focused his mind and directed his will at the beef.
A faint green glow flickered around him. Under his mental command, the entire plate of premium beef slowly floated into the air, drifted over the table, and dove perfectly into the boiling pot.
Seeing this, even Saitama couldn't help but gasp.
"Whoa, that's kinda cool. Are you an Esper too, King?"
Facing Saitama's envious look, Kenji rubbed his nose.
"Barely, I guess. I mostly just use it to move stuff around when I'm lazy."
"Wow. That is practical. Does that mean you can drink water while lying in bed without getting up?"
Saitama's deadpan logic almost made Kenji choke.
In this relaxed atmosphere, about eight seconds passed. The bright red beef tumbling in the boiling broth gradually changed color.
The moment the meat was 80% cooked...
SNAP.
Both Saitama and Kenji opened their eyes wide at the exact same instant. Their chopsticks moved like lightning.
In the blink of an eye, two hands manipulated their chopsticks at god-speed, snatching the beef from the pot and depositing it into their respective bowls.
Kenji felt he had moved at his absolute limit. Yet, he only managed to snag five slices.
The rest of the mountain of beef had vanished into Saitama's bowl.
As expected of the Caped Baldy... even his speed at snatching food is boundless...
On the other side, Saitama was actually surprised by Kenji's speed.
Although he hadn't gotten serious serious, for Kenji to snatch five slices from under his nose was commendable.
After the hotpot, the two began to chat freely.
Kenji, now full and satisfied, looked at Saitama, who was picking his teeth. He suddenly asked:
"By the way, Saitama, have you ever thought about becoming a Hero?"
Saitama paused, looking confused.
"Hah? Aren't I already a hero? I'm a hero for fun."
And that is exactly why you are so broke...
This was the reason for Saitama's poverty in the early stages. He blindly exterminated monsters as a hobbyist but never registered as a professional.
This meant he had no steady job or income source for years. If the Abandoned Zone in City Z didn't have free rent and utilities (due to being abandoned), he would have been homeless long ago.
Kenji began to explain the structure of the Hero Association and the ranking system.
Saitama picked up a leftover piece of beef and popped it into his mouth. "So, King, you're an S-Class hero, right? Those guys at the top... how much do they get paid a month?"
Kenji thought for a moment. "Just the base salary alone is probably around 5 million Yen ($45,000 USD) a month."
"HOW MUCH?!!"
PFFT!
The beef Saitama had just chewed was sprayed across the room. His eyes were perfectly round circles of shock.
Without a second of hesitation, he inhaled the rest of the beef in his bowl like a vacuum cleaner and flashed into his yellow jumpsuit.