"I suppose you have a reasonable excuse as to why you thought answering your father's calls weren't important."
Zade finally did it.
He called his father back.
As soon as the line connected, Zade didn't even get a hello. Just that calm voice, too calm...
He knew it well. It meant his father was really, truly angry.
Well, that's no surprise at all.
"I already told you, Dad. Don't call me every day. I can't always answer. I'm busy."
"That's exactly why I told you ungrateful little brat to stop going there. And you don't get to make excuses after when you chose this yourself."
"Well, I don't have a problem," Zade replied, even though he knew he shouldn't.
"You're the one who has an issue with my choices."
He could hear his father's heavy breathing through the phone.
"I have nothing to say to an idiot like you. I can't believe how your mother would feel, knowing you've completely abandoned your family."
Zade ground his teeth, forcing himself to stay silent. Hearing this from his father, of all people, was pure hypocrisy.
He hated listening to his father speak.
Always acting like he was better than everyone else.
Today, Zade chose silence. He wasn't in the mood to argue or let this conversation drag on for an hour. He just wanted it to end.
"So, why did you call, Dad?"
Zade lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling as a strange, bitter taste filled his mouth. He hated this.
Maybe he should have called later...
But now it's too late.
"Do I need a reason to call my son?"
Zade sighed quietly and said nothing. His father never called just to check on him. There was always a purpose, so he just waited.
"I want to know why Mr. Collin's daughter is blocked on your phone."
Zade chuckled to himself, hearing his father's voice again.
There it was...
The real reason behind all those missed calls.
"I already explained it to her. Didn't she tell you?"
"I don't care about your reasons. You will unblock her and contact her."
"Why?"
"Zade, I don't want to keep explaining myself. She's a nice girl. Good background. And most importantly, she likes you."
"She's twenty, Dad. Don't you see how wrong that is? I'm thirty-two. And I already told you, I don't want to get married."
Zade complained.
"You plan to stay like that forever?"
His father scoffed.
"Even if I change my mind later, let me find my own partner, dad."
Zade pleaded.
"I don't trust you with that," his father snapped. "Seeing how against you are to meeting her, I doubt it's because you already have some woman there. You can have fun all you want, but don't even think about marrying that bitch. It's not happening."
Zade sighed at that.
This was exactly why he despised his father's calls.
Everytime,
It's the same thing.
The same argument.
Over and over again.
"Dad, I don't want to marry anyone. Stop setting me up. Stop giving people my number. Please, dad."
"Zade, I just want you to settle down. I am helping you here."
"I understand, dad. But it's time for you to stop trying to 'help' me. Take a break."
"No. You just don't care about me. Ungrateful! I'm tired of this! I gave you time to choose the best woman from so many, and you ignored all of them! What do you want me to do?!"
Maybe… stop?
That was literally what Zade had just told him, minutes ago.
"Dad, can we talk about anything other than marriage? Please."
The frustration was overwhelming. He wished he could scream, but his father only kept pushing.
"I know! I know! It's still about that bitch, right?! You're still in love with that girl from abroad! You're so naive, Zade."
Zade stared blankly at the ceiling, his head throbbing.
Again...
This was what he meant.
It was always the same.
Here we go again.
Dragging up pain he had tried so hard to bury, like it was nothing, just to prove a point.
"Dad, it's over. It's been over for ten years. This isn't about anyone else. This is about me. I don't want to get married yet. That's it. Can we stop now? Have you had dinner, Dad?"
"No! You're changing the subject because what I said is true! It's about that bitch, isn't it? That snake really got you obsessed, didn't she?!"
Zade clenched the phone so tightly his hand hurt. He almost wished it would break, end everything.
"Stop calling people names. It's disrespectful. I'm not saying this because of her. She's gone. For good. It's been ten years. Let it go."
"How can I, when you haven't? If you have truly let go, then get married. Everything will be fine."
It wouldn't be fine...
Because there was nothing wrong with him.
Yes, he had fallen in love. Yes, deeply.
Yes, he was in love for long five years...
He had even introduced her to his father, planned a future with her.
But then she destroyed everything by giving in to the temptation of another man.
She confessed the very next day, begged for forgiveness...
But Zade didn't have it in him anymore, specially not after she tried justifying it...
For him, cheating wasn't a mistake.
It was a choice.
Even if it happened only once.
The breakup broke him. He cried, in secret. He didn't want to, but he had loved her too much. Letting go hurt more than anything.
Still, forgiveness felt impossible.
He was glad he never told his father the truth. If he had, his father would have used it against him too.
His father only knew they broke up. Zade had chosen to protect her reputation, saying they separated because she had to move abroad for work and they couldn't compromise.
It wasn't convincing...but Zade didn't care anymore.
His father, however, grew frustrated when Zade showed no interest in relationships or marriage afterward. He assumed Zade wasn't over her and turned that resentment toward her instead.
That was his father.
Always assuming he knew everything...
And nothing ever can convince him otherwise.
It was exhausting and never-ending.
"Dad, I have work early tomorrow. We should stop-"
"No! You ignored my calls, and now you're trying to hang up?! What kind of ungrateful son are you?!"
"So what do you want me to say?! I wasn't joking when I said I'd leave and disappear if you kept pushing marriage on me. I will do it. Please, tell me about your day."
"I know you never cared about me, Zade. You're ungrateful. I hope you know your mother would be disappointed in you. I wish she had never given birth to a son like you."
And-
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
The call ended.
His father ended it.
Zade let the phone fall beside him and lay still, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
His mind went blank. Everything felt numb.
'Ha ha...'
His father always knew exactly which words to use, the most venomous ones...
Zade tried to forget them. Tried to move on.
But they still hurt.
Like he was hearing them for the very first time...
....
"What in the-?"
Rai couldn't hold back his disgust as he, in the morning like usual, stepped into the living room but today to one filled with cigarette smoke, an ashtray overflowing with cigarette ash and half-burnt cigarettes.
Also…
The usual guy...
Sleeping...or maybe just lying there, on the other side of the sofa, one leg on the ground, the other hanging off the couch, looking like some drunk guy passed out.
"Oh! Darling is awake~ Don't nag me early in the morning, okay? I'll clean this up."
He wasn't sleeping after all. Rai felt there was something different about his tone but ultimately chose to ignore it and go on with his day, because it seemed like Zade wanted that too.
They shouldn't be bitches to each other early in the morning.
Though Rai had a lot on his tongue to say to Zade.
'So he does smoke. That's expected. He was caught sneaking them in at school back in the day too. But I thought now that he is a doctor… he had changed. Heh! Are you stupid, Rai? Obviously he wouldn't change. He would just get worse.'
Rai cooked breakfast, got ready, made his bag, and ate breakfast, all while Zade rested on the sofa, seemingly not asleep.
But he looked like he needed some sleep.
'Had he not slept at all? Did something happen last night?'
Rai was curious, but Zade didn't look like he would answer at all. Also, Rai was not a great fan of the smell, so he stayed away from Zade and the living room.
Rai hated alcoholics.
And smokers.
Isn't that's great?
He already hated Zade. So...
'Is he okay?'