What is the meaning of this strange thing we call life?
We clutch it so tightly, as if it might slip through our fingers the moment we loosen our grip—like sand—even though the time has still not come yet.
I have asked myself again and again, why do we hold onto it so desperately? We are born, we live, we die, yet this cycle never gives any answer. Countless religions and philosophies try to present their own theories and make everyone believe in their system. I have never clung to religion. To me, religion has always been a curtain hiding the stage of eager questions.
So, I believed in nothing.
Just nothing. Absolute nothing.
Why am I talking about all this? To tell you the truth, I too don't have a clue—just like you. I heard all of this once during philosophy class. It just sounded cool to start with a grand monologue.
I am not the narrator of this great—wait a minute… can I even call this absurd and comedic play great?
Okay, I think I can, just for a minute, due to some unexpected twist beyond my calculations. But everything aside, the drama that unfolded before my eyes after I came to this world is truly absurd.
And finally, this drama is now going towards the end.
Am I happy with the ending? Absolutely. The whole thing has always been an astonishing play in front of my eyes due to its randomness, absurdity, unpredictability, and what not. Let's just leave it at that.
In simple terms—was it a great experience?
But unlike other stories with a Happy, Bad, or Open ending, this play—of which I was a part, even though I tried to decline it—is coming to an end, and it isn't ending in any of those ways.
To know the ending, you need to know the beginning, right?
Let's start from the beginning.
And no, let's not start with "Once upon a time, there was a boy named Shyin."
…Okay, you got it.
There really was a boy named Shyin.
He was born in a small, beautiful family where every day felt normal—just like any other family. A family with problems, and a family with happiness, even in miserable conditions. Their condition, however, was far from miserable—or so everyone thought.
Then came the twist.
In this story, the boy named Shyin was the most miserable one. Unlike other stories, he himself was the reason for his misery. It came upon himself.
A simple family of four members: one elegant, dependent elder son—Shyin—and their cute little devil, Sasha. Even though the family had their own problems, after Sasha was born, the entire family became something different altogether. Their gloomy little home was filled with radiant sweetness all the time. That was six years ago, and Sasha still held the family together like a red Japanese ribbon.
All the pain Shyin faced at work, in relationships—everything vanished just by the call of the little devil. Whenever she heard the doorbell in the evening, she ran towards it shouting, "Braaader! Braaader!"
And Shyin ran towards her just as fast, so the little devil didn't need to use even a tiny bit of her energy. Their mother and father were jealous of how much Sasha loved her brother more than them. Sometimes, the three adults fought over who Sasha loved more. Then Sasha cried, telling them not to fight, and all three laughed at her gloomy face.
Sasha got angry, her face turning into a tomato, and they laughed more.
For the whole family, Sasha was everything. Every hardship they faced in the day vanished the moment they saw her smile.
Because of her, Shyin put more effort into his IT job than anyone else in the company. For six years straight, he worked himself to the bone using what his girlfriend jokingly named the "Sasha Fatigue Remover Technique." Jealous of this special access, she often came by just to see Sasha.
His workload was tremendous, but it pushed his skills to their peak and made his promotions faster than anyone else's. Yet he never moved to a bigger company.
Whenever someone asked him why, he simply replied, "This company is closest to my house. I can't stay away from Sasha."
If they continued to persuade him, he just showed his phone wallpaper of Sasha. That ended every argument.
Coworkers, parents, managers—even the CEO—suggested he move to a larger corporation. He declined every suggestion, saying he was happy.
Over time, he became the highest-paid employee, and his father's job also flourished.
Their family grew happier day by day. All because of that single little devil. She was the heart of the family.
If Sasha wanted something, Shyin and his father debated over who should gift it to her. Yet the mother always won—because she doted on Sasha the most. In jealousy, the father teased about quitting his job and living off Shyin's salary, just to stay home with Sasha all day in their pink, childish, love-filled house.
To put it simply, they were "Sasha-Con."
But like every evergreen story have twist and this happiness was short lived too.
One weekend night, Shyin came back home with Sasha from a newly opened amusement park. He carried beer cans and alcohol bottles. Sasha asked, "Wut arrr that, braaader?" Like every adult who avoids teaching children bad habits, Shyin said they were just cold drinks.
She understood he was avoiding the question, but what could a six-year-old do?
Still, Sasha wasn't a typical kid. She could go to the grocery store alone and buy groceries without losing her way.
But her family never stopped doting.
Everyone went to sleep at 10 PM after dinner.
It was Shyin's turn to sleep with Sasha. Since he didn't want to drink in front of her, he waited until she fell asleep, then opened his personal fridge and placed five or six different drinks on the floor.
That day, he suddenly felt the urge to smoke, so he quietly went to the nearest market to buy cigarettes. On his way back, he stopped at an arcade to win a soft toy Sasha liked. He tried for around forty-five minutes, losing multiple dollars to that scammy machine.
Finally, he headed home.
A few meters away, he heard murmurs. Then ambulance sirens.
Yes, you guessed it correctly.
Something terrible happened here.
As Shyin came closer, he saw the massacre before his eyes. His parents, who were sleeping on the first floor, were being carried away with huge burn marks. Firefighters fought the flames.
The unfortunate happened—the tragedy found every happily-ever-after family.
Shyin couldn't believe his eyes. His soul left his body. His mind was on the verge of collapse. There must be some mistake. It couldn't be his house.
It had to be a bad dream. Sasha would wake him up soon, like every day, scolding him for being late.
There was no way their house was on fire. No way the one thing keeping the family alive was still inside.
If there was a God, surely He couldn't be this cruel. And even if He was, why punish a little child?
In his scrambled state, Shyin tried to run toward the house, thinking Sasha was still waiting for her big braaader and that this nightmare would end. Firefighters and neighbors stopped him.
He broke down.
How much longer did he need to tolerate this dream?
Why wasn't Sasha waking him up?
"No, no, no…"
He cried.
He cried.
He cried.
He cried.
He tolerated.
It was his fault.
He tolerated.
He is the reason.
He tolerated more.
He cried more.
His tears didn't stop.
His father cried.
His father broke down.
His father cried again.
His father stopped crying.
His father left them—for Sasha.
His mother cried.
His mother broke down.
His mother cried.
His mother left him too.
His girlfriend stayed with him for five years. Finally, she left too.
Finally, it ended.
Finally, this dream would end, and he would meet Sasha.
It was truly the end—the eternal end.
Until he woke up from the dream—but not in his own body.
Oh yeah…
That's how this story started again.