Getting down the stairs cost me more than I expected.
My legs were still shaking with every step, and I had to hold onto the railing.
The smell of food reached me before I could see anyone.
I walked into the dining room.
My mother, Roxanne, and Reginald, the butler, were seated at the table, their plates nearly empty. All three turned their heads at the same time when they heard me come in.
"Hey..." was all I could say.
My mother shot up so fast her chair crashed to the floor. She crossed the dining room in seconds and wrapped me in a hug before I could react.
"Blake!" Her voice came out broken, somewhere between relief and tears. "Thank God, thank God...!"
"Easy," I said, gently trying to pull away. "I'm back. I'm in one piece. Nothing happened to me."
But she didn't let go.
My mother was exactly that — my mother. The complete opposite of my father in every way.
Reginald came closer with a genuine smile, the kind that crinkled the corners of his eyes.
"You must be starving, young Blake. Please, sit down — there's still plenty of food. I'll bring your plate right away."
"No, Reginald, don't worry about it," I said. "I'm not hungry. You don't have to. But really, thank you so much. It's really good to see you."
"Hey!" My mother finally let go of me to look me in the face. "How can you say that? You haven't eaten in days! I can tell you've lost weight."
"Ha... Come on, Mom, don't be so dramatic."
"Dramatic? Just look at yourself! You're skin and bones! You're eating something right now, and I won't take no for an answer."
I knew there was no point arguing.
"Fine... I guess I could eat a little."
"Say no more!" Reginald was already heading toward the kitchen. "I'll bring your plate!"
My mother took me by the arm.
"Come, sit with us. We'll keep you company while you eat. Besides, we have a lot to talk about."
"Uh... sure."
I made my way to the table, and that's when I caught Roxanne's eye.
She hadn't said a word since I came in. She was still sitting in her chair, arms crossed, with an expression that wasn't exactly joy. She looked at me for just a second, then glanced away.
Just as my mother was about to sit across from me, Roxanne stood up.
"And where do you think you're going?" my mother asked.
"I'm done eating. I'm going to my room."
"You'd been done for a while. Why leave now, right when your brother is feeling so much better? Don't you even care?"
"It's not that. I just have something important to do."
"Something important? What could possibly be more important than spending time with your brother after months?"
Roxanne had a point. Technically, she and I hadn't seen each other since training for the academy had started — though I had dropped out not long after, of course.
"I've been seeing him practically every day in his room," Roxanne replied.
"That doesn't count! He wasn't even conscious! And his condition wasn't stable. His body could have given out at any moment."
"Mom, please," I tried to cut in. "There's no need to—"
Neither of them heard me.
"Oh, Mom, you know perfectly well that's not true," said Roxanne. "The doctor himself said it was only a matter of time before he woke up. That there was no risk of death. That's why they let him stay home."
"He still could have died in that place! Just like the others, like those poor boys..."
My mother's eyes filled with tears.
"We should be grateful that Blake made it back safe and sound."
"First of all, deaths inside a rift are common — everyone knows that," Roxanne replied coldly. "And second of all, Blake shouldn't have even been there. He cheated, and you know it. So if he had died, it would have been nothing but his own fau—"
The slap rang out through the entire dining room.
The silence that followed was absolute.
Roxanne slowly raised her hand to her face. Her eyes were shining, but not from pain. It was something harder to name. Helplessness, maybe.
"I can't believe how heartless you are," my mother said, her voice cracking. "I am truly disappointed in you, Roxanne."
Roxanne lowered her hand. The tears didn't fall, but they were there.
"Like that's something I haven't known my whole life."
"And what exactly do you mean by that, young lady?"
"Mom, please," I said. "There's no need to keep going with this. I hate it when you fight."
It was right then that Reginald appeared with the plate.
"Food's ready! I took a little longer because it had gone cold, so I had to warm it up."
He stopped when he felt the tension in the room.
"But... what happened here? Did I miss something?"
"It's nothing, Reginald," said my mother, covering her eyes with her fingers. "It's nothing."
"Alright then..." he replied, setting the plate down in front of me.
I shot him a subtle glance toward Roxanne and my mother. He caught it immediately, like he always did, and quietly sat back down in his chair.
I looked at the plate.
The sauce was a deep, vivid red. Glossy. Too familiar.
My stomach turned. The image of Darius came without warning. The blood on the carved star. His eyes looking at me.
I swallowed hard.
"Blake, was it very difficult getting down here?" Reginald broke the silence. "After several days unconscious, the body gets quite weak."
"Yeah, my legs felt pretty unsteady the moment I got up," I said. "But since Dad was there, I talked with him for a bit before I stood."
My mother looked up.
"Cedric was there?"
"He was. I know it's a little hard to believe."
"Not at all," she replied. "He was the one who spent the most time in your room waiting for you to wake up."
"What? Really?"
I looked at Reginald.
"I know it sounds hard to believe," he said. "But she's telling the truth."
That wasn't like my father at all. It didn't fit anything I knew about him.
"So what did you two talk about?" my mother asked.
"He told me I'd been accepted into the academy," I replied.
"It was pity," Roxanne murmured. "Nothing more than that."
"What did you just say, young lady? Say it louder!"
Roxanne said nothing.
"Don't worry about it, Mom," I said. "She's right. After all, I can't even use magic. It's honestly absurd to think any of this is happening. I have a really bad feeling about it."
"Don't think like that. Everything is going to work out. I'm sure that at some point you'll be able to connect with your ring."
"That's not going to happen," said Roxanne.
"Hey! That is enough!" My mother's voice rose. "You had better think before you speak and show some respect, or the next slap will be a lot harder."
Reginald gave a soft, tactful cough.
"Perhaps Miss Roxanne simply feels a little overlooked. She also achieved something truly impressive, which has been overshadowed by Blake's incident."
"You mean the Volgrim rune? We all congratulated her for that."
I turned toward Roxanne.
"You got the Volgrim rune?"
She barely moved her eyes, tilting her head slightly without answering.
"I don't know much about runes," I continued, "but I understand it's second-degree elemental. So seriously — congratulations. I wouldn't have expected anything less from you."
"Thanks," she said flatly, looking somewhere else.
"Dad also asked me what I remembered about what happened. But my memories of the incident are pretty much nonexistent, so I couldn't tell him anything."
Another lie. I was losing count.
"So you had no idea what had happened to your group?" my mother asked.
"No. Dad was the one who told me."
I paused.
"One of the members was Darius."
I just nodded. No words came out.
"I'm so sorry, Blake. I truly am. All we can do is hope he's in a better place now, resting in peace."
"Yeah... That's for sure."
The place he must be in is one I'll never reach.
"I almost forgot to mention it," my mother continued, "but in a few hours it's Darius's funeral, and—"
I stood up from the chair.
"A funeral? Does that mean they recovered the body?"
"Uh... No. It's more symbolic. Something his grandparents organized for the people who knew him — a way to say goodbye."
"Oh... Right. That makes sense."
I sat back down slowly. And that's when I noticed Roxanne staring at me. It wasn't a normal look — it was the look of someone analyzing. Suspecting. I looked away immediately.
"Roxanne and I were invited," my mother continued. "Would you like to come too? I'm sure Darius's grandparents wouldn't mind at all. You're like a second grandson to them."
---
"I don't know... I'm not sure."
I fixed my gaze on nothing in particular.
"Why aren't you sure?" Roxanne asked. "He was your friend, wasn't he? Going would be the right thing to do."
She suspects something. I'm sure of it.
"I'm not sure I can handle it. It would overwhelm me emotionally, and I don't want to fall apart like that in front of everyone."
"You don't want to fall apart in front of everyone?" Roxanne repeated, in a tone that left no doubt about what she was thinking.
"We'll be there," my mother added. "Letting yourself feel things isn't a bad thing. So what do you say?"
My heart was beating faster.
"S-sure... I'll go."
"Good. Eat quickly and go put on something formal. We're leaving soon."
I looked at the plate. The same red. The same sauce — reminding me again of what I had done and what I was guilty of.
And now I was going to have to face it head on.