Right.
Okay.
What had Ezra even been expecting?
Did he expect anything at all?
'After five years, I'm still—' Ezra stopped himself, refusing to finish the thought as he met Helios's unwavering gaze.
"Yes," Ezra said, forcing steadiness into his voice. "But that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, if I had seen you, Your Highne—"
Helios raised an eyebrow.
"I mean… Helios," Ezra corrected quickly. "What happened while I was gone?"
He took a breath, the words tumbling out faster than he intended. "I know you mentioned in your letters that something was wrong in the kingdom. But I've already seen more crime, heard about mass kidnappings of children, and…"
Ezra glanced around the carriage, instinctively checking for eavesdroppers.
Before he could continue, Helios lifted a hand and gently cupped Ezra's cheek, guiding his gaze back to him.
"It's alright, Ezra," Helios whispered. "No one can hear us."
Ezra felt heat creep up his face, an instinctive reaction he immediately tried to suppress. He took a slow, steady breath, then another, grounding himself.
"A-As you noticed… my scent," he began quietly. "My pheromones. You were able to smell them easily."
His fingers tightened slightly against the fabric beneath his hand. "A lot of people noticed. Even the bandits."
Helios's eyes widened. "What?" His voice sharpened. "Those bandits knew you were an omega? That's not good, Ezra."
Ezra nodded. "Before you arrived, they were… overwhelming me with their pheromones. All of them." He swallowed, the memory still making his chest feel tight. "I felt disoriented. Weak. I couldn't understand what was happening at first. It's the weakest I've felt in years."
'I hated it,' Ezra thought. 'Hated feeling helpless again.'
"I thought they might be in rut," he continued, shaking his head. "But they weren't. They were fully–"
"…Aware," Helios said, the word heavy as it left his mouth. His expression darkened. "That's one of the problems plaguing the kingdom now."
Ezra blinked. "It's an ongoing problem?"
Helios let out a hard breath and finally stepped back, sitting on the opposite seat of the carriage.
The tension didn't leave with the distance, but it shifted, settling into something heavier.
"Yes," Helios said. "And it's worse than you think."
He looked at Ezra steadily. "I'll brief you on everything. But first," he added, his tone turning serious, "I need to ask you something."
"Yes?" Ezra said, lifting his gaze to meet his.
Helios's gaze shifted from Ezra to the small figure in his arms.
Ezra resisted the urge to widen his eyes. That would be too obvious. Helios knew him far too well.
One wrong reaction, one slip, and Helios would notice.
Helios was someone Ezra trusted with his life.
But this… this was something he had to protect.
For Helios's sake.
For Lior's sake.
"This…" Ezra felt as if thorns were lodged in his throat as he forced the words out. Helios was watching him closely.
That stare.
That damn stare.
"…is Lior," Ezra finally said.
He glanced down. Lior was looking up at him, doing his best to stay quiet, just as he'd been told. Ezra could see the fear in his eyes.
It made Ezra ache.
He wanted to hold him closer, to soothe him, to whisper that everything would be okay.
But he couldn't.
Not now.
"Hello, Lior. It's nice to meet you," Helios said gently, offering a warm smile.
Lior stayed silent, turning his face away from him.
Helios didn't seem offended. Instead, he looked back at Ezra, curiosity clear in his eyes. "Why is he with you? It's unlike you to take in children. May I know his history? Who are his parents?"
Lior's parents.
His mother was Ezra.
The one who had given birth to him.
And his father—
God.
Lior's father was—
"His parents are dead," Ezra said, his voice cold and almost monotonous.
Lior reacted immediately.
Not with words, but with a small, visible flinch.
His fingers tightened in Ezra's clothes, his eyes darting between Ezra and Helios. Confusion clouded his expression, fear threatening to take hold but never fully settling.
Mostly confusion.
Ezra noticed.
And it shattered something deep in his chest.
'I'm sorry, little one,' Ezra thought, forcing his expression to remain calm. He knew Lior understood what he was saying, even if he couldn't fully grasp why.
That was what hurt the most.
As much as Ezra didn't want to hurt his little boy, he couldn't stop now.
He had to keep going.
Ezra drew a slow, steady breath and lifted his gaze back to Helios. "I found him not long ago," he said evenly. "When I saw Lior, I was reminded of myself when I was younger. Alone. Lost."
His voice softened, just enough to sound natural.
"So I took him in as a student."
Helios studied him for a long moment.
His face was unreadable, which was unusual for him, and it immediately set Ezra on edge.
'Come on, say something,' Ezra thought, forcing himself to stay still, to keep his nerves from showing.
Then Helios smiled.
"Now, that sounds like you," he said warmly. "I always knew you couldn't turn away from a child like that." His gaze drifted to Lior, thoughtful. "And honestly? He even looks like you."
Ezra froze.
Then he laughed. A short, awkward sound that slipped out before he could stop it.
"D-Does he?" Ezra said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I hadn't really noticed."
'Please, Aurethys, don't let him notice more,' Ezra thought. He was already asking so much of Lior. He couldn't bear the thought of changing his hair color too, not on top of his eyes.
Helios didn't seem suspicious. If anything, he looked amused.
"You're still the same," Helios said fondly. "That's why I kept your quarters in Heliocrest untouched. They're still yours. And they're more than big enough for the two of you."
'Wait, what?' Ezra blinked.
"M-My quarters?" he stammered. "Helios, I was actually planning on getting my own flat. I'm not part of the knights anymore, and it wouldn't feel right to—"
"Nonsense," Helios interrupted smoothly. "The moment you stepped back into Luxaelis when you received my urgent letter, you were still part of the Sunward Sentinels. Your position has been waiting for you."
Ezra frowned. "What do you mean?"
Helios's smile faded into something serious. "The position of Captain of the Sunward Sentinels has been vacant for five years."
Ezra's breath caught.
"…It's been vacant since I was gone?"
"Yes," Helios said simply. "No one else was ever considered."
Ezra stared at him.
For a moment, he couldn't breathe.
"My captain will always be you, Ezra."
Oh.
Oh God.
'He's saying it like that again,' Ezra thought, his mind spiraling. 'Why would he say it like that—no. Stop. Don't read into it. Just… don't.'
His grip on Lior tightened before he even realized what he was doing.
His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might give him away, like Helios could hear it and understand everything Ezra was trying so desperately to bury.
Five years.
Five years of distance, of silence, of trying to live a different life.
And yet, nothing had truly moved on.
Nothing had been waiting for him in Luxaelis.
Except everything.
The responsibility.
The title.
Helios.
Ezra swallowed, his throat tight.
'How am I supposed to say no to that?'