Hot, white pain seared through my scalp, tearing me awake. My eyes opened, and the whole world shifted all around me. Darkness shifted to night. My mouth opened wide into a scream that never came.
Figures crowded my bedside, shouting over one another. The pain dulled just long enough for sound to return.
"My Lady!"
"Get me some water damn it!"
"Lady Esra!"
I raised a weak hand, and thankfully that made the shouting finally stop.
"I'm fine." I said, not looking up from the bedsheet. "It was just a nightmare, that's all. I am perfectly fine."
Nobody around me sounded or looked convinced.
"Well…the Lady gave us an order. Out with all of ya if you know what's good for you!" One of the maids shouted. She was a head taller than the rest, and broader by far. She looked altogether absurd in the maid outfit she wore, but all the other maids jumped at her words.
Some of them cast me worried glances, but everyone hurried to the door. The large woman lingered for a moment.
"Please, do let me know if you need anything, my lady."
"Thank you." I said simply.
The woman nodded and left, leaving me alone.
Only then did I let out a long sigh and fell back on my pillow.
"Esra…." I mumbled. That was my name. Esra Veyne. It was somehow both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, dredged up from some corner of my mind that felt…foreign.
That piercing pain came again, and I bit down on my lower lip to keep myself from making a sound. Memories flashed in my mind, too many and far too scattered for me to grab onto any one of them.
I was Esra Veyne. And yet, I remembered another life. Vague impressions flashed in the place of memories. I tried to focus. Pain came, my heartbeat grew faster. I was panting. Sweating.
"Don't…." I whispered to myself.
I had another set of memories, and those memories told me that this place wasn't Earth. These were more than just impressions, barely recallable as they were.
Who was I, and just what the hell had happened to me? It felt like I had died and been reborn. Or perhaps it was more like I had remembered something I should have forgotten.
The headache came again, and so I forced myself out of the bed and onto my own two feet.
I was…shorter than I had expected. My chest did rise above the bed, but only just. There was a mirror in the room, and I walked towards it.
I was both surprised and unsurprised by my reflection. I was staring at a child, soft and round and innocent. Eerie red eyes stared right back at me, and my frame was nestled in pale, almost white hair. I was…twelve? At least, I was pretty sure that I was around that age.
Taking a deep breath, I slapped my cheeks hard. My reward for it was nothing more than a stinging sensation all over my face.
"Well…I guess this really is real then, huh?"
I stared at my reflection, even as it blurred. Surprised, I wiped away at my wet eyes. Sadness spiked through my chest, alien and confusing.
Had I been reincarnated? Or had I only just remembered memories from a past life? Did it really matter either way?
"Suppose not." I answered myself and went over to the window. I drew the blinds, my breath catching from the view outside. A massive city stretched as far as the eye could see. I took in hundreds of people in an instance. Merchants hawking their wares at stalls, people hastily moving through crowded streets and people lining up outside big stone buildings I vaguely recognized.
Sounds and smells attacked my senses from every direction. Even from this distance. Those sounds and smells grew. They were all around me then, getting closer and closer. Weight pressed down on me from every direction. My breathing grew faster and faster.
Power flowed through me, smacking me like cold water. I took a steadying breath, looking out again.
It was...odd. I couldn't hear anything now. Hundreds of people everywhere, and I couldn't hear any of them. I couldn't smell much of anything either, and I was pretty sure hundreds or thousands of people were supposed to smell like something.
I turned the blinds back down, both because the sight was overwhelming, and because I'd rather not have some see me. I walked towards the door again.
There was a restless energy coursing through me. Walking might help.
I opened the door, and almost ran headfirst into a wall of pure muscle. The woman turned, and looked as surprised to see me as I was to see her.
"My Lady, you did not go back to sleep?"
"No. I just feel like walking would do me some good. After my uh…nightmare."
The woman gave me a sympathetic look before she nodded and stepped aside. I was in a large hallway, littered with rooms on either side. The ceiling was so high I was pretty sure I'd have to be able to fly just to touch it. Or maybe that was because I was so short now. Had I been taller then?
I tried not to think about it as I simply picked a direction and started walking. A much heavier set of footsteps started walking right behind me.
"I don't think I asked for you to come with me." I said politely. "Please, don't neglect your work just to follow me around."
"My Lady, following you is one of my main duties." The woman informed me.
Anias. The name came to me then, almost like it was forced into my head. Yes, that was the woman's name. I tried to drudge up more details, but nothing really came.
"Okay then."
It didn't take long before I ran into more maids, all of them attending to one cleaning duty or another. All of the women hastily bowed their heads as I passed by them. Most of them only did it out of respect, but a few of them avoided my gaze, stepping back when they caught me looking at them.
"Am I…difficult?"
Anias considered her words before she spoke. "You…have been known to cause some trouble every now and then, My Lady."
That…wasn't a good sign, and now that Anias mentioned it, I did vaguely recall throwing a tantrum or two. It was strange to have to view my own memories as if they were of someone else, and perhaps maybe they were.
"I'll try not to cause them more trouble then."
Anias didn't look particularly convinced by my words.
The smell of food made me pause. It was faint, but it only grew stronger and stronger as I started to follow it. I hadn't even known that I was hungry.
"If you were only hungry, I could have had anything sent directly to your room. Would you like to do that now?" Anias said when she figured out my present destination.
"It's alright. I really did want to stretch my feet. Besides, if I walk a little to get to the kitchen, it means that I can eat a tiny bit more without getting fat."
"Is that how it works?" Anias asked dubiously.
"Absolutely."
The kitchens weren't hard to find by scent alone. I stepped inside, and was greeted by a dozen people in white aprons, all hastily running around a room that would have looked much larger if it didn't have so many people in it. Maybe this was why Anias had suggested I wait in my room. How was I going to get anyone to feed me here?
The clatter died when one of the cooks spotted me. The woman dropped the pan she was holding, and then gave me a hasty bow. The other cooks all noticed me then, and they all stopped what they were doing.
"Err…I'm just here to get something to eat." I said awkwardly.
"The Lady is hungry! Don't you hear her? Get her something before I throw you right out of this kitchen!" The oldest looking woman said, and the others rushed to obey.
Then, she stepped towards me. "My Lady…is there anything specific you would like to eat? You came on such short notice or we would have prepared something for you…."
"Anything is fine. Though…I suppose I'd like something…sweet?"
The woman nodded and turned. "SHE WANTS SOMETHING SWEET!"
I resisted the urge to cover my ears. The woman sure had some lungs on her. Cooks started to scramble in every direction, even as the old woman waved me towards an empty seat.
I was seated at a table almost before I myself knew it. In front of me was…a chocolate cupcake. A chocolate cupcake nearly the size of my fist sat before me. Was I really expected to try and eat the whole thing?
Well…here goes nothing. I reached out for it almost gingerly, trying to ignore the hopeful gazes all around me. I picked it up, and bit into it. Flavor exploded in my mouth, and I took two more bites almost before I'd finished swallowing the first one.
It was practically inevitable that I'd choke, and sure enough, it happened only a few seconds later. A big, meaty hand pounded on my back, and then I was able to breathe again.
"Thanks!" I told Anias gratefully, before taking yet another bite out of the half eaten cupcake.
"Does…does My Lady find it to her liking?"
I looked up at the old woman, and vigorously shook my head. I didn't want to speak and chew at the same time.
The woman looked genuinely relieved, and there were even more relieved murmurs from all of the other cooks. I didn't really understand. Just who in this world wouldn't appreciate a flavor this divine? Someone like that deserved to be executed at the very least.
"ESRA!"
A voice rang out, so loud it practically shook every single bone in my body. I swear even some of the cutlery in the kitchen moved a bit.
"Hmm…I guess it was just a matter of time." Anias muttered behind me.
"Uh…what's happening?" I asked her. She didn't answer me, instead giving me an amused grin. For some reason, that just made me feel even more scared.
The door to the kitchen exploded open. I wouldn't have been surprised if it had flown across the room. A giant of a man burst in.
Anias cut an imposing figure with her size, but this man made even Anias look short and small. What made him even more imposing was the fact that he looked like he was all muscle.
He was also…my father. I knew that in that moment as surely as I knew my own name. The man cast one look around the room, and then his gaze found me.
A tiny part of me flinched under that gaze, almost out of fear. I didn't even know where the feeling had come from, but it was sharp and real.
Then, my father stepped forward. A man his size shouldn't by all accounts be able to move fast. He did anyway.
He took me into his arms and hugged me. His embrace crushed the air right out of my lungs, and now I could tell for sure that the man really was all muscle.
"I'm so happy you've finally left that damned room!"
Something wet trickled along the back of my neck and I stiffened. Was he…was he crying?
He squeezed me tighter, and this time I had to push against his chest a bit. He must have finally realized that he was literally squeezing the life out of his daughter, because he let me go.
I took a much needed deep breath, only to see many of the other cooks also sniffling. I turned my head to look at Anias, and even she was wiping a tear.
Everyone was acting like I had died and come back to life.
"Esra, are you hungry? Are you feeling okay?" My father pressed. "If you need to go back and rest then I can carry you."
I didn't know what to make of concern I couldn't understand, but this was starting to get at least a little annoying
"I am not made of glass, father." I said as politely as I could. "I can leave my room just fine without breaking."
He gave me an odd look, before he finally nodded. "Yes…you are quite right my dear." There was a sad set to his shoulders, one that made me regret my choice of words.
It was odd. A part of me both knew and considered him as my father, but an almost equal part of me knew of him as a stranger. It was like the two halves of me were at war with each other. I tried to tap into the memories of the man I had, but a wave of sadness made me flinch away.
"I think I might be a little tired, actually." I said finally.
My father nodded slowly, looking me over with a fine eye as if he expected to find a wound somewhere on my body. "Okay. Let's get you some rest. You don't need to do everything in one day."
I assumed that he would have Anias show me back to my room. What I didn't expect was for him to hunch down, and effortlessly pick me up in his arms.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" I asked, feeling my face turn red.
"Hmm? It's just faster this way, Esra."
I was about to protest more, but then the world spun for a moment. It stopped spinning, and I was in…my room?!
"There we go." The man said gingerly, lowering me back down onto my bed.
I just blinked and stared at him. Just what in the hell was that?
"If you need anything, and I mean absolutely ANYTHING." My father said slowly. "Just let Anias know and she will let me know. In the meantime, just rest my dear. Get your strength back."
"O-okay?"
The man nodded slowly, before moving towards the door. Then, he paused and turned back towards me. He leaned forward almost timidly, which looked odd for a man of his size. His lips against my forehead, and then he really left, leaving me alone in my room. I stared at the door long after.
I had so many questions they were making my head spin.
"I think…I might actually need a nap."