Slasher split his scouting party up into two teams as they made their way into the woods, scanning the treeline for signs of trouble as he surveyed their surroundings. The other team of three orcs went one way, while his team went another, fanning out among the trees and keeping alert for signs of danger. You never knew what could be lurking deep in the woods, hidden among the trees, watching and waiting.
He stepped round the trunk of a huge dead tree to find himself face to face with a small green creature picking mushrooms off a moss covered log. It looked up, spotted him and jumped in shock, dropping the mushrooms and freezing in terror as it gaped up at Slasher, who towered over it.
"....Please...don't kill me!"
Slasher paused when the small, whimpering creature suddenly spoke, begging for its life. At just three feet tall it was half the size of the orc. An expression of surprise came over the orc's grisly features, changing into a malevolent grin. "Don't kill you? Now why would you assume that I wanted to kill you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at the terrified creature. "What, because I happen to be an orc is it?"
The little goblin shivered with fear as she stared up at the orc with wide, tear filled eyes. "N..no! I....I just....Mimi saw your axe and...and...." her voice trailing off into frightened squeaks, claws clutching at her ragged tunic. "P..please.....Mimi just want to live....won't cause trouble...."
"Oh I see! You see an orc with an axe and think, 'Oh look there's an orc with an axe, he surely must intend to use it!' Is that it?" he asks with the orcish approximation of a frown. "Did you hear that Crusher?" Slasher asks someone out of view.
"I did!" Booms another orc as he plods out from behind several trees, towering over Slasher at 7 and a half feet tall. "Not very nice is it?" Crusher says. "Can't just be an orc without being accused of something. It ain't no fair!" His tone betraying a sense of dismay as he pouts at Mimi.
Slasher shakes his head. "It's not nice to judge people by what they look like!" He chides Mimi, stepping towards her and extending a clawed hand as he points at her. "How would you like it if we judged you?"
"Yeah!" Says a third orc, suddenly appearing behind Mimi. "You don't even know us, and you're calling us murderers! What cheek!" The orc says with a feral grin as he takes several steps towards Mimi, the goblin now surrounded by the three orcs.
Mimi whimpers as she's suddenly surrounded, her tiny body shaking like a leaf as she looks frantically from one huge orc to another. "M..Mimi sorry! So sorry! Didn't mean to judge!" She protests, her voice cracking as she presses her tiny hands together, desperately pleading, tears streaming down her green cheeks. "P..please....Mimi just scared...never met nice orcs before...all orcs Mimi met were...." she swallows hard, remembering brutal raids on goblin villages. "..b...but...maybe your different? Please?"
"Oh so you meet one nasty orc so surely that means all orcs are nasty!" Slasher says, waving his arms about dramatically.
"What about if we called goblins thieves?" the third orc asks, its grin growing wider as it licks its lips. "Maybe you're a thief?...You are a goblin after all!"
"Duh! We don't take kindly to thieves!" Crusher pipes up.
"No!" Slasher agrees, his eyes glinting with malevolent delight as he studies Mimi like she's a tasty snack. "We don't take kindly to thieves at all!" He rasps with a hissing laugh. "You're not a thief are you?"
Mimi lets out a terrified squeak as she shakes her head so vigorously her ears flap. "N..no! Mimi never steal! Never!" she protests, frantically patting her ragged clothes to show she has nothing on her. "M...Mimi just scavenges! Eats wild berries and mushrooms! Never steal promise!" She suddenly bows so low her nose almost touches the ground "M..Mimi is good goblin, bad at being goblin, but tries to be good!"
"Hmmmm...." Slasher says scratching his chin with a claw. "What do you think Mauler?" he asks the third orc.
Mauler looks at him and then back at Mimi and smiles with wickedness. "Sounds like something a thief would say!"
"Someone who's got nothin' more likely to steal than someone who's got somethin'," Crusher observes, displaying his towering intellect.
Mauler cackles with glee, the laughter sounding like shrieking metal. "Let us find out what she has! We'll soon see if she's a thief or not!" he declares.
Before Mimi can react Crusher grabs her with surprising speed and flips her upside down in his huge hands and shakes her like a salt shaker, when nothing falls out he frowns.
Mimi screams in terror as she's flipped upside down and shaken violently, limbs flailing. "Eeeeeek! No! ….See?....see?....Mimi has nothing!" she squeaks, her face turning a deeper shade of green as she stops struggling and hangs limp like a rag doll.
"Huh? There's nothin' fallin' out?" Crusher says, ever the observant. He spins Mimi upright again and looks her close in the eye, studying her close up as if he's trying to peek inside. "She's Empty!" he declares.
Her head swimming with dizziness as she's righted Mimi's huge eyes cross as she stares at Crusher's nose just inches from her face. "T...told you!" she whimpers, her head swaying dizzily. "Mimi empty! Empty because hungry!" she insists, her stomach growling to emphasise her point.
"Wait a minute!" Slasher says, his voice thick with suspicion. "Turn her around! Lower her Crusher!"
Crusher turns the goblin around so her back's to him and lowers her until her feet are dangling half a meter off the ground.
Slasher approaches her with narrowed eyes, looking her over and studying her intently as he stops. "Ah!" He cries out. "Just as I suspected! She has something alright!"
Mimi lets out a confused squeak, her tiny legs kicking feebly in the air. "Mimi has?....." she trails off as she tries to twist her head to see behind her, utterly bewildered, then gasps in realisation. "No! No! ….That's just.....just Mimi's tail!" The green appendage twitches nervously behind her. "All goblins have them....See?" she insists, wiggling it as proof.
Slasher ignores Mimi as he reaches out, grabs her shirt and lifts it, exposing her middle to the world. "She's got a belly!" he cries.The other two orcs gasp as he chuckles with glee. "
You know what that means!" he yells, suddenly very enthusiastic.
Mimi lets out a shriek of terror as her hands fly down to cover her exposed belly as she kicks wildly. "N...no....no.....no! Mimi's belly not for eating! Not tasty at all! All tough and chewy!" She cries hysterically as she squirms like a caught fish.
"P..p..please!' she begs, tears welling in her huge goblin eyes.
"Rub a dub dub!" All three orcs cry at once, in a joyful chorus as Crusher flips Mimi around so he's cradling her in one arm like a baby as the other orcs reach out and start eagerly rubbing Mimi's belly with energetic glee, while Crusher rubs her head with his free hand. "Hee hee hee!" he booms. "There's nothing like a game of rub a dub dub with a goblin!" he thunders with a huge, goofy smile.
Mimi freezes in shock for a few seconds before erupting into uncontrollable giggles, her tiny legs kicking like mad. "Eeeeeee! No fair! T...tickles too m....much!" she squeals between breathless laughter, her tail wagging wildly. "S...stop! Mimi c..can't breathe! Ha ha ha ha ha! N..no more! P...please!" she protests.
The orcs continue their game with reckless abandon, cackling and laughing with glee, before Slasher finally stops and cries out. "Wait!!"
The other orcs freeze.
"What's happenin'?" Crusher says, confused. "Did we lose the game?" he asks with a disappointed pout.
Mimi pants heavily with her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, completely dishevelled from all the tickling. "Game?" she looks up at them dazed and confused. "M...Mimi didn't know.... this was game..." her chest heaving as she realises they're not going to eat her. "....Mimi....wins?"
"No you dummy!" Slasher barks at Crusher, pointing at Mimi's feet.
"Nobody's tickling her feet!" he says, pointing down at them.
"Ooooohhh!" The other two reply as Mauler comes to the rescue. "I'll get it!" He declares boldly, diving at Mimi's feet as the other orcs cheer and they resume frantically rubbing Mimi's head, belly, and now her feet.
Mimi shrieks with laughter, her entire body convulsing in the orcs' grasp. "Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Too much! Too much!" She squeals, her voice cracking to a high pitched yelp as she flails helplessly, tears of joy streaming down her face. "M..M..Mimi can't breathe! Ha ha ha!...gonna die!..... Ha ha ha!" she gasps for air. "P...please!...M...Mercy!" Yet despite her protests, there's a strange warmth spreading through her chest - nobody had ever played with her before.
"Change places!" Slasher cries, as there's a brief pause as the orcs change positions and resume vigorously rubbing other parts of the vibrating and bleating goblin. Crusher now kneading her belly with a huge hand as Mauler rubs her head and Slasher tickles her feet with gusto.
Mimi is completely reduced to a wheezing, giggling, vibrating mass of goblin, her limbs flopping weakly as she loses the energy to resist and surrenders to the tickle onslaught. "N..No...more...can't....ha ha ha...B....breathe..." her words dissolve into breathless squeaks, her tail thumping weakly like a happy puppy's.
Crusher suddenly cries out "Hooray!" as the orcs all suddenly stop as one and the other two groan in dismay. "I won! I won!" Crusher booms happily, dumping Mimi to the ground before he claps his hands excitedly.
Mauler sighs and hangs his head in defeat as Slasher flashes a savage grin. "Good game! Crusher won fair and square!" he says with a nod.
Mimi lands in a dizzy, messy heap, going completely limp, exhausted and still giggling weakly with her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, looking utterly ridiculous, yet somehow....happy? "H...hooray?" she gasps, blinking up at them in a daze, breathing heavily; her body still tingling from the relentless tickle assault. "Mi...Mimi never played.....game like that before...." She's slow to sit up, her eyes blinking with something suspiciously like delight. ".....thank...you?" the word coming out as a confused squeak.
"Can't keep rubbing if the goblin passes out," Mauler explains. "Then we lose and the goblin wins!"
"It's no fun when the goblin wins," Crusher whines.
"Come on, let's go!" Slasher says with a wave for them to follow. "Bring the goblin and lets eat!" he says as Crusher grabs Mimi and picks her up, lumbering after the others.
Mauler licks his lips and smiles at Mimi. "Nothin' like a good stew!" he says with a cackle, salivating and licking his lips.
"Mimi like sheep stew?" Crusher asks, raising her up to his face, like he's interrogating her.
Upon hearing the word stew Mimi immediately tenses up, her tiny hands clutching at Crusher's huge fingers in panic. "Wait! Wait! Mimi not sheep! Mimi goblin!" she protests, her voice a high pitched squeak as she frantically points at her green skin, tail and big ears. "See? No wool! Bad for strew! Make tummy hurt!" she cries, then pauses as she realises they don't intend to put her in the stew. "Sheep stew?" she asks in a small voice, her stomach growling hungrily.
Mauler nods enthusiastically, "Delicious sheep stew with vegetables!"
"Mamma said all good orcs eat their vegetables," Crusher says to no one in particular. "Mimi look like a vegetable," he says to Mimi. "Green like really big pea!"
Mimi lets out a strangled squeak at being compared to a vegetable, her tiny hands patting her face frantically to make sure she hasn't actually turned into a pea. "No...no!... Mimi...goblin! Goblins not vegetables!...." she trails off, confused as she deflates, ears drooping. "...Mimi....Mimi will eat vegetables....if that means not being vegetable..." She looks up at Crusher with big hopeful eyes, looking so pathetically small in the massive orc's grasp that it's almost comical.
Crusher frowns down at her. "Duh! Crusher know goblin's aren't vegetables, dummy! Mimi just same colour as one" he laughs at her with a rumbling "Huh! Huh! Huh!"
She stares up at the orc in silence for a moment before bursting out into a fit of giggles. "Oh! Ha ha ha!.....Mimi thought...." she trails off. "Crusher funny orc! Not scary orc! ...Well, maybe a bit scary," she adds, not wanting to offend her captor turned playmate.
"Crusher big and strong!" the orc insists. "Even for orc! Crack human skull like walnut!" he boasts with a chuckle and huge, goofy grin.
They arrive back at the camp where another three orcs are waiting for them and Slasher introduces Mimi to the group, the other orcs gasping excitedly as one cries out "Rub a dub dub!"
The goblin shrieks and clings to Crusher, her eyes darting between the new orcs in panic. "No more rub a dub!" she protests.
"No!" Slasher snaps silencing them. "We eat dinner first, then play! And we already played Rub a dub dub."
The new three let out a collective "Aaaaawww!" in disappointment.
"We'll play knick knack paddy wack!" Slasher decides to a cheer from the other orcs.
She perks up at the mention of dinner, her tiny nose twitching at the aroma wafting from the camp fire. "Knick knack?" she asks Crusher, uncertainly, her ears drooping as she looks up at the monstrous orc with wide, nervous eyes. "This game.....not involve throwing goblin....right?" Her voice is so small and hopeful its almost pitiful, yet there's a hint of curiosity beneath the fear.
"Nope, that game throw the goblin," Crusher explains helpfully. "Knick knack where we all sing and dance and make fun!" He says, his smile growing even larger as the orc gets a twinkle in his eye, placing Mimi on her feet as they begin serving dinner.
Mimi stumbles a bit as she's set down, still recovering from the onslaught of tickling. "Oooh! Mimi can do singing! ….Mimi....." She cries excitedly, her ears perking up as her tail wags and she trails off, accepting a bowl of stew from one of the orcs as she stares at the massive portion with wide eyes. "This all for Mimi?"
"Crusher help Mimi if she needs reinforcements!" Crusher says to her with a smirk. "But Mimi should eat, need lots of strong for tomorrow; long march to meet up with rest of war-band," he tells her. "We looky team; go in front of war-band to make sure no naughty people hiding, waiting for us who want fight!" He explains.
Mimi drops her spoon into her stew in shock. "War-band?!" Her voice cracks into a squeak as she looks around at the orcs frantically. "M...Mimi is coming with orc army?!" She says, shocked as her tiny hands tremble around the bowl. "B...but...Mimi can't fight! Mimi is...." she gestures at her tiny, petite form, all three feet and eighteen kilos of her.
Mauler cackles, it sounds like he's choking on his food. "Mimi's just a little goblin, not made for fighting," he agrees with a nod. "You stay in camp, take care of horses, help cook and clean, tend to wounded and make sure everyone remembers their prayers to Galzoog," he says, flashing her a toothy grin full of large pointed teeth.
Slasher smirks. "Not an army, just war band. Thirty orcs. We are mercenary band, the Blood Hammer!" He tells her with no small amount of pride.
Chewing happily with her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk Mimi nods her understanding, her earlier fears forgotten in the face of the delicious stew. "Mmph! So good!" She moans, her tail wagging as she looks around the group of orcs with something edging very close to affection. "Mimi never have real family before..." She says, the words coming out before she can stop them, as she clamps her hands over her mouth and turns a deeper shade of green in embarrassment.
Slasher smiles. "Blood Hammer are like family, yes. We are brothers! Sworn to fight for each other and no loyalty to anyone but our brothers!" he declares.
"Mimi not brother," Crusher mutters. "Girl can't be brother...." he says, looking confused.
"Sister Mimi!" Mauler declares.
The orcs all mutter their agreement, nodding to each other.
Mimi's spoon clatters into the bowl as tears well up in her eyes. "Sister?" She quickly wipes at her face with a sleeve, sniffing. "Mimi...Mimi....never had...." She struggles to finish the sentence and instead launches herself at Crusher's massive leg, latching onto it with all her might as she cries happy goblin tears into his trousers.
Crusher stops and stares, not knowing what to make of the sight before him. "Huh?" The hulking orc plucks Mimi from his leg, her grip being easily torn away as he sits her on his knee and hugs her to him with a massive hand that could crush her rib cage with a squeeze. "No be sad sister Mimi, Crusher look after you. No one do ow to Mimi or Crusher give them big ouch!" The orc says, patting her softly.
Mauler licks his lips in anticipation. "Mimi is a Blood Hammer now!" He declares. "Tiniest member of orc war-band!"
"That means she's a special member!" One of the other orcs pipes up.
Mimi melts against the massive orc, her tiny body shaking with happy sobs as she nods vigorously. "Mimi will be the best special member!" she declares between sniffles, her big eyes shining with determination and gratitude. "Mimi make special goblin stew for everyone! Cook best food that only goblins know how! ..and....and..." her voice trails off as she lets out a massive yawn, the long day catching up with her as she snuggles into Crusher's massive lap. "....And be good sister..." she mumbles sleepily, falling asleep in the warmth and safety of her new family. Snuggled happily in the orc's lap as the firelight dances across her tiny form, her tail wagging in lazy, circles as her ears twitch happily at the sound of orcish laughter and song. Before she drifts off to sleep Mimi says her first prayer to Galzoog, a heartfelt thanks for finding her place in the world; and as the stars twinkle in the sky above the Blood Hammer camp. For the first time in her life, Mimi the goblin slept without fear, surrounded by the safest thing she had ever know, a family that chose her.
As the camp fire burned the orcs drank and made merry, Mimi being accepted into the war-band as their little sister who cooked, swept out tents, mended clothing, kissed boo boos and ensured all the orcs said their prayers to Galzoog before bed. The little goblin having learned two valuable lessons; that family isn't just your blood relations; family is those you choose to surround yourself with who care for and support you, and that you shouldn't judge others by their appearance, but by the strength of their character.
The End.