The ogre had taken Xiao Yan to a nearby cave. The cave was massive, like a mini-universe, but it was the perfect size for an ogre. There was a large fire where they were cooking; the food smelled like trash, and the ogres smelled like they hadn't showered since the day the world was created.
"Buddy, where did you run off to?" asked the Master Ogre, the leader of the troop.
"I... juuussstt... fooounnddd... a little... inssssseccct... ouuuutsssdiiiidddde," said the ogre who captured him, speaking so slowly it was like he had a medical problem.
"Show me. Can we eat it? Is it contaminated? Is it clean?"
Xiao Yan looked at the ogres with terrified eyes, looking like he was about to cry. He was so scared he almost wet himself.
"System!!! Hmmm, please come out!" His face turned blue, but he found his courage and stopped himself from sobbing.
(I've gotta find a way out of here fast. I can't rely on this system; it's too unreliable. Is this thing actually a scam?) Xiao Yan thought.
The big ogre looked at him. "You look delicious. I don't care what species you are; I'm going to eat you today and take a long nap afterward."
Xiao Yan looked at the ogre. He wasn't scared anymore; he was looking for a solution. He couldn't give up. He had a cultivation path to finish and a revenge to take. He couldn't let some big ogre—taller than the Eiffel Tower—take him down like this.
(Ah, I remember! I have the golden shield. I can blind them with its light and run! But my hands are tied, so I have to be fast.)
Xiao Yan looked up at one of the ogres. It was like looking at the moon—you see it right in front of you, but it's so far away. He already had an idea, relying on his humorous mind and tactics rather than a deadly battle.
"Hey, little ogre—no, I mean, big ogre. Can you bring your head closer to me?"
"What is the problem, little insect?"
"Hmm... who is your mom? Were you born this big? Because if you were, your mommy's belly must have been as big as Planet Earth!"
"Are you making fun of our beauty and handsomeness?" asked the wife of the Master Ogre.
"Oh, my lady! You're so big that no man other than your ugly friend here would ever marry you!"
The lady got mad. As an ogress, she hated being made fun of more than anything. She looked at Xiao Yan's little legs, picked him up with her massive fingers, and said, "I will eat you in one go. No sharing!"
"No, wait, wait, wait... I have one last word!"
"Say it fast!" growled the ogress, ready to taste him.
"Ogres are so dumb! IQ of 21! They're just big and uglier than King Kong!"
Xiao Yan sang it out in a mocking tone. The ogres got worked up, ready to snap him up, but it was time to execute the plan. Xiao Yan summoned his shield, and a blinding golden light filled the cave. The ogress swung her big spoon around the room like she was trying to catch an elephant, but Xiao Yan was too smart for them. He was already out of the cave, running like someone being chased by a dog twice as fast as them.
"What a plan! I actually escaped by making those big extraterrestrials mad. Hmm, I've gotta get out of this forest fast to get my inner cores and weapons from the system."
As Xiao Yan started descending toward the nearest town, the system finally spoke up.
[One hour of silence has ended. Master is totally fine and out of danger.]
"So you did it on purpose, didn't you? You lazy system!"
["Correct yourself, Master. I am not lazy. You gave the order, and I listened."]
"I can't wait to ascend to godhood; I'm just going to send you back to a new user!"
["Master, you won't be able to get rid of me. When you ascend to godhood, I will be able to take a human form and stick with you forever on the higher planes. So, don't be too happy."]
"Ahh, the gods gave me the worst system in the whole Multiverse. What did I do wrong?"
[System Notification: Nearby city detected]
[Gift pack being granted to Master to start cultivating]
[Inner roots and gifted talents granted to Master:]
[Heaven‑Pulse Thunder (Inner Root)]
[Judgment Codex Eye (Left Eye)]
[Frozen Origin Physique]
[Azure Flame Authority]
[Primordial Soul Core]
[3 weapons of Mortal Grade (Upgradeable) granted:]
[Sky Mjolnir]
[Curved Knives]
[Sword of Ice]
[Master will have Thunder, Fire, and Ice elements when starting cultivation.]
[Next Mission: Find a good partner for your cultivation]
[Reward: 1 Balance-Breaking Pill]
"Wow, finally something useful to start my cultivation. You don't seem that useless anymore, System. I'll start calling you 'Disciple' from now on. You've done a good job."
["We aren't that close. I'm just doing my work, Mr. Fallen Prince. Hahahaha!"]
"Hmm! 😠 You're no good, just an annoying, worthless system."
["Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. 🙄"]
"Ahhh! Help!" A noise came from a nearby spot just as they were about to enter the city.
"Helppppppp!"