"Pon pon small mountain's baby rabbit, why are its ears so long…"
"No, Tsukuru! I'm not sleeping yet! I'm not sleepy!"
The lullaby that was bothersome at first has now become a familiar song sung every night.
Though there was distance between us when I first brought them here, before I knew it, Kyūtarō's rebellious spirit had softened, and accordingly, Ume also follows me well, so now we get along so well that the three of us sleep side by side.
Honestly, I'd prefer to sleep alone if possible because I'd like to take off my hood when sleeping. But Ume said "No no! I'll sleep with you! I'll sleep with you and brother!" and clung to my back, so I was instantly conquered. Thanks to that, my hood is always one with my body. At this rate, like the tsukkomi glasses in a certain manga, my hood might become my main body.
For reference, who gets the middle spot changes daily. Today's middle spot belonged to Ume, who threw a tantrum saying she didn't want to sleep because her eyes were wide awake from napping too much during the day.
"I'll put Ume to sleep, so Tsukuru, you go to sleep first. You have to go out early tomorrow too, right?"
As I was troubled about how to soothe her, Kyūtarō stepped in from across Ume. My heart throbs at that kindness. Are our kids perhaps angels? But Ume, not liking it, kicked the futon with her feet and said no.
"No no no I don't want to sleep! I want to hear more of Tsukuru's song!"
"Ume, you… I'll sing instead, so let Tsukuru sleep."
"Kyūtarō, you can sing a lullaby?"
"Well, I've heard it that much, so of course."
"I can sing too! Pon pon small mountain's baby rabbit! is, why! are! its! ears! so! long!!"
"Ume. That's not called a lullaby, that's an alarm."
Though her lively singing is very good, that's not the way to sing a lullaby.
If comparing her voice to rabbit breeds, it's much larger than a Flemish Giant rabbit. Moreover, I didn't sing with that much staccato. Isn't that too excessive? Didn't the long ears get short-cut? Feels like they got chopped up?
When scolded by her brother to be quiet since it's night, Ume hurriedly covers her mouth. Mumbling sorry is honest. She's too honest with her own feelings and a bit self-centered, but that point is cute.
Haa~ I don't want to marry her off~~! I want to keep Hina dolls out all year~!
"By the way. Both of you have memorized it already. Somehow makes me happy."
I feel deeply moved, thinking if everything continues like this—from parent to child, when the child becomes a parent, then to their child. When I laugh as if tickled inside my hood, Ume makes a proud face, and Kyūtarō looks a little proud yet embarrassed.
"Hey hey, we memorized it because Tsukuru sang to us, but who did Tsukuru hear the song from?"
"The predecessor old man, perhaps?"
"No, that's not it."
"Then who?"
Ume asks with her overflowing big eyes wide open. Kyūtarō also seemed curious, looking at me from across Ume.
To their question, what flashes through my mind is Mom's face. How should I answer? A moment's hesitation. I decided to answer honestly.
"Mom. Before I was born, and before that once more, the mom from back then sang it to me."
Both make the same bewildered expression. Though their facial features are different, as expected of siblings, I should say their expressions are exactly alike.
"What's that. Reincarnation? That thing called transmigration?"
"Transmigration? What's that? I don't get it. Explain it more clearly, brother."
Unlike Kyūtarō who immediately understood upon hearing my words, when a word she doesn't know comes up, Ume puffs her cheeks dissatisfied.
"Transmigration means, even if you die, you're born again into this world. Apparently human souls go round and round like that."
"In other words, I remember the lives I've lived going round and round until now."
When Kyūtarō speaks, she turns that way, when I speak, she turns this way—Ume's head movements are busy. She seems to properly understand what we explained easily, nodding her head with a hmm.
I'm a little surprised they don't laugh it off as a lie. Even if Ume is like that, Kyūtarō not saying anything is unexpected. Perhaps they think it's a joke to put the kids to sleep. That in itself is a bit lonely.
"But neither I nor brother remember things from before we were born. Why does Tsukuru remember?"
"Why indeed. I don't know either. Maybe I couldn't forget because I was frustrated that it was just a life full of regrets."
Looking back on my memories until now. Life truly is full of regrets and only things I couldn't do, only things I want to redo.
The fact that Muzan-kun became a demon because of the doctor's medicine, that I couldn't succeed my master and died, that even Mom and the Leader became demons, that while vowing to stop Muzan-kun this time, I haven't encountered any demon hunters at all, and countless other regrets beyond that.
"What kind of adult was Tsukuru before being born?"
"I didn't become an adult. I died around Ume's age."
"Then before that?"
"That time too, at six years old."
"That's even younger!"
"Was it illness?"
"...No, an accident."
No matter what, I can't say I was eaten to death by family members who became demons. That's too shocking for a pre-sleep joke. Kyūtarō found my strange silence a bit puzzling, but Ume, who doesn't doubt the reincarnation story, made her clear eyes shine even brighter.
"I want to hear more about Tsukuru before being born. Instead of lullabies, tell more about that."
"So Ume, you, Tsukuru has to work early tomorrow too, so let him rest a bit…"
"It's fine, it's fine. It's a boring story so it might actually make you sleepy."
As I soothed Kyūtarō who was making a sour face and was about to start talking about Yukiji.
A sound came from far outside the house. The light sound was the bell strings I installed in the bamboo grove as intruder countermeasures shaking. The farthest bell was shaking clamorously despite the late hour.
Normally, sound wouldn't come to this extent. It was a sound as if charging forward without even caring about the caught bell strings, breaking them as is.
I immediately got up and threw a haori over my shoulders. Ume and Kyūtarō also got up from the futon in surprise.
"What what, a wild boar? Did a wild boar come, brother?"
"But this sound is from bells installed for humans. Wild boars don't get caught."
"Then what, a thief? No… I'm scared…"
Kyūtarō strokes her back to reassure his sister who clings with a frightened face. But that hand is somewhat awkward. To lessen the two's anxiety even a little, I spoke as gently as possible.
"Either an urgent patient, or a deer got caught. I'll go check, so you two stay sleeping. Ah, don't come out of the room."
Stroking the heads of Kyūtarō who frowned worriedly and Ume who was almost about to cry, I hurriedly left the room.
Even during this, the sound was gradually getting closer. Heading straight for this house. When I went outside, the noise grew even louder. I listen carefully. Mixed with the bell sounds are footsteps trampling the bamboo leaf path—two of them. Not a four-legged beast.
Something rushing out from the bamboo grove shadows into the moonlight. That thing with beast-like fierce footsteps yet in human form is undoubtedly a demon. Though I encountered them every few months when returning from night house calls, being attacked at home is a first.
The demon had horns growing. Proof it had eaten quite a lot of humans. Moreover, laughter that seemed to have lost reason and drool flowing from the mouth. Concluding conversation is impossible, I take out a bamboo water bottle from my pocket.
I take a short breath to the extent my lungs don't hurt. The refreshing scent of blue bamboo filling the bamboo grove.
Into the mouth of the demon rushing with a roar while baring its fangs, I push the bamboo water bottle along with my palm. The bottle cap is already open, and moreover, needles to widen wounds are stuck in. Of course, its contents weren't simple water.
"Please don't make loud noises. There are children, you see."
A demon's skin is tough, but mucous membranes like eyes or mouth are relatively weak. When the bamboo bottle directly hits the soft oral cavity, the demon gags.
"Calm down. Yes, how about a sip of medicine."
Perhaps noticing I smiled though hidden by the hood, the demon's pupils blaze with anger. But those teeth, those claws, never come enveloped in anger to attack.
Red fluid flowing from eyes congested with passion. The moment it shed bloody tears, the demon collapsed like a doll with cut strings. I kneeled beside it and looked at the demon's dead face. At least traces of pain or anguish didn't remain in the eyes that were blazing with anger.
Closing the widely opened eyelids quietly, I let out a sigh. Not a sigh of relief, but a sigh of disappointment.
"Another failure, huh…"
While researching medicine to turn demons back into humans, all I create is poison.
Every time I encounter demons, I try administering new medicine like this, but they've never returned to human. Not even once have they regained even a little human reason. All died as demons, unable to be cured.
The only comfort is that I can take them down without giving unnecessary pain.
I put my hands together for the demon that breathed its last, and separately, I'll gratefully utilize the demon killed by the failed medicine for the next research.
I should explain to Ume and Kyūtarō that a big monkey appeared. Anyway, I should reassure them that it's okay now. I'll leave the corpse for now and move it to the workshop after putting them to sleep.
When I thought that and turned my body toward the entrance── I met two gazes and eyes peeking through the door gap. Oh no.
＊
"Formal seateeee."
"Yes!"
What to do, Kyūtarō is scary.
Kyūtarō standing tall with arms crossed. Under his gaze looking down at absolute zero, I sit in formal seat with a frozen feeling. Beside Kyūtarō, Ume imitates her brother and crosses her arms spiritedly. While puffing her cheeks with an angry face, she's too short to look down at me so she's standing on tiptoe—it's cute.
Ah, she started bouncing. I feel relieved. Healed. Aah~ I want to poke those puffy cheeks and go pshhh~ to let the air out~~~.
No, not the time to escape reality.
Though it's an obvious situation, just in case, situation explanation.
Me, caught by Kyūtarō and Ume poisoning a demon!!
I was frozen in shock at having the demon killing scene witnessed by my disciple and his sister whom I cherish like family, then Kyūtarō threatened with a cold voice "Let me see you for a bit" leading to now!
Exposed to cold eyes, my heart is -50 degrees. Is this Oymyakon, Russia? No, it's Shabana's residence in Japan, you fool. I feel so cold I might freeze to death. Someone help me.
"Hey Tsukuru, what's that?"
"..., ..., ..."
Oh no how do I deceive them?
"Why are you shutting up? You know what happens if you lie, right? Hmmm?"
"Ah yes. That's a demon."
Gave up in 1 second. My spirit broke.
As Kyūtarō with bulging veins comes right up to my nose, I confessed helplessly. Come to think of it, before coming here, Kyūtarō did work exactly as his name 'Kyūtarō.' Call it veteran experience, the current Kyūtarō was completely terrifying. If this continues, I'll have no choice but to spill everything. If I let my guard down, he might make me add 20% more and tell everything.
Ume was the one who reacted to my answer. Still with arms crossed, she twists not just her head but her body, showing bewilderment saying "Demon (oni)?"
"But it had horns but no iron club, hair not messy, and face wasn't bright red. Plus, its clothes were ordinary. If it's an oni, shouldn't it wear tiger skin loincloth?"
"That demon is originally a being that was human."
My heart warmed a little at Ume's reaction mentioning oni from old tales, but Kyūtarō's gaze wasn't in such a situation. When I check Kyūtarō's mood from inside my hood, the yellow-discolored pupils are still mercilessly staring coldly at me.
"That's not what I'm curious about. I'm asking what you've been doing in that bamboo grove, me."
"...It's as you saw."
Killed a demon.
Killed a being that was originally human.
What did Kyūtarō and Ume think seeing me unhesitatingly poison a being with the same form as humans, a being that was human? I've already sorted it out in my heart as being like that, but for these untainted children, it must be a difficult story to accept.
Will they feel fear? Disgust? Hatred? When I try to read Kyūtarō's feelings by looking deep into his pupils, I see something burning within the cold gaze. Ah, this is.
"...You're angry, sorry."
"Really. It's been a while since my stomach churned like this…!"
He must be disillusioned. Must despise me. Must be disappointed.
A doctor who should save people is killing people—no nightmare is like this. Just when we could finally live like family, I ruined everything by mistake. It was clear we'd return to when I first brought them here, no, become even more distant than that.
The fact that it's my own fault makes me scared, hard, and sad, and I can't suppress the desire to cry.
Even though it's meaningless since it's hidden by the hood, I bowed my head as if to hide my crying face. Kyūtarō grabbed my shoulders hard enough for nails to dig in. As if not to let go with both hands.
Will I get hit? Of course.
Bracing for impact, I close my eyes. But.
"Do you know how worried we were!"
"Uuuuuh?!"
What hit me wasn't a fist but unexpected scolding.
"My heart went cold thinking Tsukuru might die! Plus, you're not even physically strong, whatever a demon is… Don't do dangerous things!"
"Uh, there? That's the part you're angry about?"
"What else is there!"
"There is, Kyūtarō. Demons were originally human. I killed that. Meaning I'm a murderer. You're not angry about that?"
"I'm not!!!"
"Answer speed like a speed quiz!!!"
"Ahh, brother and Tsukuru, that won't do! You have to be quiet at night!"
It was an immediate answer. An immediate answer that came before my words even ended. Faster than Echigo confectionery's ding-dong. His voice was also loud. Breathing of multiple forms, first form. A tremendously big voice coming from deep in the stomach.
Kyūtarō, who gave an unhesitating answer, looks down at me who's at a loss and snorts.
"Unfortunately, I'm not a goody-two-shoes like you, me, why would I care about the life of a guy rushing to kill me. If I'm going to be killed by someone, I'll kill the opponent and survive, me!"
"I'm the same as brother. Why worry about strangers? What happens to such guys is none of my business!"
So, cold~~~~!Both siblings' mentality is Rashomon riverside~~~~~~!
I was pleased that both had become kinder and gentler recently, but was that only in front of me? They still live viewing the world with strict eyes. Perhaps because they've experienced the world's rough storms.
"Plus that demon guy, wasn't it quite dangerous? Had a face like it would eat even people."
"Yeah, demons' staple food is humans."
"What???"
My legs were slowly starting to go numb. Kyūtarō also uncrossed his arms and seems to have calmed down a bit, so can I release the formal seat? When I try to get up, Kyūtarō pushes me down firmly. Uwaah wait, I'm sinking, sinking into the tatami.
"Formal seateeee!!!"
"Uh, no my legs are numb."
"Just let them go numb! So you can never get up again! Facing a man-eating demon alone, you're truly a born idiot! What if you made a mistake and got eaten! Hmmm?!"
Behind Kyūtarō with a more terrifying momentum than before, Ume stood blankly as if speechless. Her face turns pale and trembles, and her jewel-like eyes gradually begin to well up. Oh no, was the story about eating people too shocking for Ume?
"Th, that demon thing, eats people? Ts, Tsukuru, you could have been eaten? Then me and brother too, could have been 'let's eat' to a demon…?"
At Ume's appearance sniffling and sobbing while shaking her shoulders, Kyūtarō who was shaking my shoulders also stopped moving. Ah, this is the precursor to real crying. Recently, incidents of falling while playing or making bamboo dragonflies into roof fertilizer had decreased, so it had been quiet.
Ume was a baby aged two plus several dozen months who would cry until her stamina ran out once she started crying. The explosive power when overflowing energy turns to tears is overwhelming. They say you get stronger by the number of tears, but in Ume's case, what gets stronger isn't her heart but the sound pressure. The more she cries, the stronger it gets.
Judging it wasn't the timing for scolding or being scolded, Kyūtarō and I declared a temporary truce and tried to somehow calm Ume down, but the timing was already too late.
"Noooooーー!!! I don't want to be eaten by a demon noooooーーーー!!!"
Ume's crying voice tearing eardrums. The midnight beauty sobbing recital, opens here. Like rock and roll, Ume shakes her head and messes up her hair.
"I don't want Tsukuru and brother to be eaten either!! Why do things like demons exist in this world I'm so scared I can't even sleep just die already!! Waaaaah!! No no do something about it!!!"
"It's, it's okay~. There there there not scary not scary. Now~ stop crying and smile~ I want to see Ume's cute smile~."
"I'm cute even when crying!!!"
"Damn, can't refute that."
"Tsukuru you, aren't you too weak against Ume..."
Though Kyūtarō says that incredulously, in truth, what a once-in-a-thousand-years beauty says has nothing but persuasiveness. No matter what anyone says, Ume's facial combat power is at a level where Freeza's scouter would break. Her face is absolute monarchy. Not even thinking of rebellion, let alone refutation.
If Ume were an idol, she would comfortably take permanent center position with overwhelming first place in general elections, and handshake event lines would traverse the Japanese archipelago. No, she could conquer the world with just her face. Nobunaga would pound the rice cake, Hideyoshi would shape it, and Ieyasu would offer it while panting. The so-called Tamamo-no-Mae of Edo, truly Japan's Yang Guifei, a heaven-sent peerless beauty.
When such Ume cries boohoo, it's extremely heart-wrenching. I feel like I've become a terrible villain without doing anything and want to find a rope to hang myself. I feel like waiting for a judge's verdict.
Thanks to Kyūtarō and I soothing, comforting, and calming Ume who burst into tears, after a while Ume finally fell asleep. Must be tired from crying until her tears ran dry. In deep sleep with tear marks left on her cheeks.
When I laid Ume who makes quiet sleeping sounds into the futon, Kyūtarō opens his mouth in a small voice as if concerned about his sister.
"What was that thing you shoved into the demon's mouth. Poison?"
"No, medicine. But since it was a failure, calling it poison would be correct."
"Medicine, what kind of medicine?"
"Medicine to turn demons back into people."
"...That, I haven't learned yet."
"I have no intention of teaching it."
Kyūtarō, who was dissatisfied at hearing there's medicine he doesn't know, raises his eyebrows at my one line. Though he doesn't raise his voice since Ume is sleeping, it's a face that would have shouted otherwise. As if to calm such Kyūtarō, so as not to wake Ume, I slowly explained the reason as if singing a lullaby.
─The reason I won't pass on this medicine research to Kyūtarō is simple.
To research medicine, you need to fully understand the demon's body by looking inside. That is, a thing called dissection. Slicing open the belly to take out organs, breaking the skull to look inside—such things absolutely cannot be taught to a child.
Though my predecessor taught, made me observe, and made me practice relentlessly to me in my single-digit age, still, this and that are separate issues.
This era avoids dissection acts, and if anyone finds out I dissected a demon's body, it would be a disaster. Moreover, to test the medicine's effect, you need to directly face demons and administer it, and that's dangerous.
If the medicine is a failure, the demon won't return to human and will die. Meaning you end up killing a being that was originally human.
I've gotten used to killing demons so I'm fine, but I don't want to make Kyūtarō do dishonorable acts. My predecessor jumped into the path of medicine development himself, so I gratefully accompanied him, but I can't forcibly drag in such a child.
"You see, I want Kyūtarō to become an upright doctor. A doctor-sensei worthy of the Shabana signboard. So I can't teach it."
The medicine research will end with my generation. I'll definitely complete it in my generation. When I finish explaining with a quiet resolution, as expected, not even a hint of acceptance could be found on Kyūtarō's twisted lips.
"Hey, Tsukuru… Aren't you misunderstanding something?"
Making his pre-voice change voice as low as possible, Kyūtarō frowns. Clicking his tongue with irritation as if displeased, his yellow-clouded pupils pierce through me seriously.
"What I want to succeed isn't Shabana. It's you, Tsukuru."
The voice considerate of Ume is small like a whisper, but becomes a clear sound embedded in my heart.
"The Shabana signboard is extra. If I can't succeed you, then I don't need Shabana or whatever. If you say you won't teach no matter what, then I'll do as I please. I'll find demons myself, kill them, tear them to pieces, learn from scratch and catch up. It's not a threat, I'll do it by any means!"
Literally, Kyūtarō's words weren't a threat. It's just that if he says he'll do it, he'll really do it. If I still shake my head and say no, Kyūtarō would probably rush out at night with a sickle.
Demons don't die by just cutting, but Kyūtarō doesn't know about demons so he probably doesn't know that fact either. But even if he learns that fact, Kyūtarō's actions won't change.
I had such near-arrogant confidence.
"Still, will that be okay? Huh, hmmm?"
Urging an answer, Kyūtarō speaks. Taking Kyūtarō himself whom I want to protect hostage, he forces an answer from me.
What is this. What kind of threat is this.
This way, I have no choice but to permit it.
"...Can't be helped."
When I reluctantly consent while showing my dissatisfaction as is, Kyūtarō raises both hands he was holding. A victory pose. Meanwhile, I sink into the agony of defeat…or so I thought, but not really, somehow a strange feeling.
Though I didn't want Kyūtarō to walk this path, more than that, a corner of my heart boils with joy.
Was someone succeeding me, telling me they want to succeed, such a happy thing?
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