Anywhere but here!
This day started off so annoying! Why did they have to be here so early? Ugh!
...
"Fucking Satan..." Loona growled, clasping her temple as she slumped into her reception chair, still woozy from last night, her stomach twisting into knots within, pushing a horrid bile up her esophagus. "Umf!"
Loona helped a hand over her muzzled mouth. Her crazed eyes shifted all around, searching for something, anything!
Blitzo's plant... No... She wasn't that upset with her adoptive father. He only invaded her privacy slightly this morning.
The bathroom was too far away... And she didn't want to barge in on Millie as she finished her business.
Wastebin? ...Maybe. Mox would have to clean it later. That would be hilarious!
Her eyes sharpened onto a single object. A bottle of water, or whatever the hell Moxxie drank, that he set on her desk.
Loona's lips curled into a twisted smile despite holding her vomit back.
Perfect.
Swiftly swiping a bottle off her desk, uncorking it, and pouring all the liquid into the potted plant beside her desk, Loona barfed into it. Screwing the lid back on, she slid it across her desk toward a disgusted Moxxie.
"Really?"
"Fuck off," Loona bared her teeth and growled at Mox in a dominant display. With a huff, she scowled and proceeded to ignore him further as she reached into the desk and pulled out a file and a magazine.
She didn't like it, but her claws were getting dull. Needed to be sharper.
"Whatever," Moxxie rolled his eyes, taking his bottle and exhaling as his wife exited the bathroom. "Gonna have to clean it again..."
"At least she replaced it with Blitzo's piss, suga!" Millie failed to cheer Moxxie up.
"How is that better?" Moxxie loudly exclaimed before his head flinched back. "Wait. How do you know that was filled with his piss?"
"Cause he filled it when you put in the gas," Millie bubbly chirped, much to Moxxie's chagrin.
"And you didn't do anything?" Moxxie stated, flabbergasted with his arms held out.
"Shut your mouths, bitches!" The door to their office slammed open, likely leaving a crack or indent in the wall as Blitzo dramatically entered. "I've got some news! First off, we got ourselves a new hire!"
"Sir," Moxxie palmed his face. He dragged his hand, repressing his sigh while giving an exacerbated glare at his boss. "And where did we obtain the funds for a new hire? We just spent everything we had on that stupid jingle and ad..."
"Oh, already coming for my jingle to tell me it's crap? What's next, gonna deny my dream of making a musical just like my dad, huh?!" Blitzo accused Moxxie, holding his finger in his face.
"Uh, no, sir, I..." Mox stumbled over his words.
"I thought it was pretty good!" Millie beamed.
"Thank you, Millie! That's my girl." Blitzo patted Millie on the head.
"Millie... We talked about this. Don't agree with him when we're arguing." Moxxie attempted to admonish his wife reasonably.
"As for the money, I still got some left over after Loona and I got wasted last night!" Blitzo pulled out a wad of cash from his suit and waved it in front of Moxxie. "Some dumbass left a package full of cash in my mailbox with a letter. I just chucked that bitch away and celebrated like there was no tomorrow!"
"The letter said to hire someone coming here today." Loona tilted her head, shifting her figure, laying her feet on her desk as she sharpened her nails.
"You read that shit?" Blitzo rolled his eyes before rolling his eyes. "Well, fuck the guy they wanted to hire! We got a professional! Just made that trash who parked in our space grovel on his knees and suck his own dick!"
"No..." Naruto's voice drolled from the door leading to the staff break room. "You made him do that. I decided to check what was left over in the fridge... Whoever's beef bowl was in there, it went well with my ramen."
"You piece of shit! That was mine!" Loona roared, deftly jumping from his position, intent on ripping apart the joker who dared steal from her.
Oh, she would make him suffer before ripping out his thro...
Loona stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart thunderously thumped in his chest while her eyes darted back and forth, observing every last detail of the hellish being before her.
Matted and ruffled golden fur underneath a tattered fishnet shirt that hid nothing of his glorious chest and abs. Torn and rugged orange jeans that showed just how rigorous his journey must have been. Two pronounced fox ears lifted over the locks of spiky blonde fur on his head. He had a strong muzzle and razor-sharp teeth that could shred the toughest steak to mince meat.
And piercing cerulean eyes... With a crimson hue beneath?
She was standing before a hunk of a Hell Fox!
Loona's murderous rage instantly dissolved as she nervously swayed, barely able to vocalize her words. "Um... Ah..."
"Sorry about that. I hadn't eaten in days and was starving! Needed a good topping to put on the fuck-ass cheap ramen served here." Naruto picked a chunk of beef from his canines before swallowing it, barely acting like she existed.
Before her heart stopped beating altogether as his gaze swept over her, absorbing her appearance...
And then he toothily smiled!
"So perhaps we should grab a beer after work? Get to know each other better." Naruto casually grinned.
However, all Loona heard was something similar to 'Wanna f...'
"That enough of that crap here! No flirting at work!" Blitzo slunk from underneath and separated the two, Blitzo's gaze locking onto Naruto's.
Naruto couldn't hide the sinister grin. Oh, he knew that look well.
It was a father attempting to keep his daughter safe.
And so he would honor that bond... For now.
There was no telling what he would do if she came onto him!
"Uh..." An unconfident voice redirected Naruto's attention toward Moxxie as he gathered his courage. "And you may be...?"
"Ah, right! Forgot about that! Name's Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to be working with ya!" Naruto grinned widely.
Only for his gaze to slit upon seeing Moxxie's eyes widen.
Brat knew who he was... That made things... Interesting.
"Is that a problem?" Naruto snarled, baring his teeth toward Moxxie.
"No! Not a problem!" Moxxie jumped, fear setting in. Still, he impressed Naruto by finding the courage to continue to speak. "It's just... Well... Weird... Seeing you... Lower yourself to a job such as this?"
"Huh? What's that mean, hun?" Millie frowned, glancing toward Naruto with confusion.
"Well... You see... Ah, sir!" Moxxie nervously prattled before suddenly being sprayed several times...
By a squirt bottle labeled piss.
"Yeah, yeah! I already know! Stop embarrassing me and get over it! Who fucking cares who he is?!" Blitzo tossed the bottle haphazardly behind him, arms on his hip, while Naruto stepped to the side to avoid being hit by it. "So what if he's a big shot? Big fucking deal! He's willing to work for pennies on the dollar, and I'm not passing that kind of free labor!
Naruto blinked before tilting his head. However, a crazed grin crossed his muzzle, and he laughed. "Alright then. No need to hide then. Allow me to truly introduce myself. I am Uzumaki Naruto, Knight of the Morningstar."
"But know me by as the Embodiment of Death."
[ X ]
This group was... Interesting...
There wasn't a better word to describe them. Maybe a bunch of idiots?
No, that was a disservice to their intelligence. It was more like they didn't care and just wanted to have a good time.
Except Moxxie... He seemed to be trying to moderate their actions and make sensible decisions. Those didn't work in Hell.
Regardless, he genuinely cared about the others and this job. And that was a rare attribute to find in Hell—t his universe. Everyone was a bad apple.
Fuck... If he had a nickel for every genuinely good person... Naruto would have several more than he would like to admit. There were very few that had a good heart...
It was why he gravitated to Luci and Charlie... They were the closest thing to decent people.
And it was as if he was looking into a mirror of them! Both Mox and Millie had that same kindred spirit...
Except she was a bit... Airheaded.
It wasn't the worst thing... She seemed ever the optimist with that bubbly energy...
But she seemed a little too excited about murdering and killing humans. And all the questions she was asking him about his sprees...
Naruto exhaled. This world had changed him. At one time, he would use his words to change those around him. Not here. It hardly worked. And when he did think it worked, he backstabbed immediately.
He shook his head. Naruto couldn't drop his guard again. Not again...
His vision shifted to the boss. Blitzo was saying something, but it was all white noise for Naruto. He was just arguing with Mox about their ad.
Naruto was more than aware of Blitzo's identity. Still, something about the way he acted intrigued him.
He had seen more than enough articles about him to know he was self serving, foul-mouthed asshole who didn't care who he fucked over to make a buck. And yet... Naruto had already seen something out of him that he didn't expect.
Genuine concern.
And it wasn't just with his interjection between him and Loona. Despite this vain, bizarre, and insane meeting he was holding to appease his own ego, there was playful banter between him and his subordinates.
Naruto didn't sense a truly negative emotion from any of them...
...Besides Loona...
Oh, the negative aura was strong with her. With her brooding and nonchalant attitude, she could have given a young Sasuke a run for his money!
She was the embodiment of an angsty teenager attempting to rebel against her father, acting aloof and uncaring outside of what little interested her.
Naruto saw those stray eyes occasionally shifting toward him. Loona was going to make this a chore... That could become an issue. He wanted to be on Blitzo's better side. He had a feeling he was gonna have to find or hire a stud to get her attention from him...
Maybe act like he had a girlfriend? Was Bee available...
Wait... Didn't she have a new stud boyfriend?
"And you! You just sit there and stare at everyone! Why don't you do something?!"
"Eh?" Naruto blinked, sensing the attention of everyone in the room shift to him. And his eyes were drawn to a child pointing toward him. "The fuck? How long has that kid been there?"
"Ah, I knew I was forgetting something!" Blitzo snapped his fingers and laughed. His expression shifted to annoyance as his phone rang and he answered it. "Fuck me! Guess I'll take the brat back... Hm? Never fucking mind! The kid's got a contract on him!"
"Seriously?" Moxxie's jaw slacked. Likely stunned someone would want a child dead.
...Oh, sweet child...
"Not all that uncommon, how much?" Naruto swiped Blitzo's phone. He was more than keenly aware that the Imp would accept any price. His lips gnarled as a gruff voice told him the low price on the other end. "Nah, triple that shit! We ain't killing a kid for that measly lump sum!"
Naruto hissed at the indignant grumble on the other end, declining his offer. His features shifted demonically as an astral golden aura shimmered over his face. Naruto's crimson gaze peered through the line and into the demon's soul to convey his message.
"Bitch! I eat people!"
The voice screamed and begged for their life. Naruto's features shifted as he haphazardly tossed the phone back to Blitzo. "The offer has been decupled."
"Oh, fuck yeah!" Blitzo smashed his phone in his grip. His eyes shone as he withdrew his old-fashioned pistol, and his teeth were displayed with his grin. "I can tell this is going to be a fucking great business venture."
With muzzle flash and gunshot, Blitzo's laughter ran through the entire offer. "Drinks are on me tonight!"
"Now, let's get the fuck out of here!"
[ X ]
"So, how'd it go? You get the job?"
Naruto exhaled, observing his coworkers getting smashed at the bar. Well, except Moxxie...
...Who was trying to watch and observe him discreetly.
"Easy enough," Naruto kept tipping his phone away as he took a deep drink of this pub's house special. Pungent and potent. Good.
"Wonderful!" Lucifer's voice resonated from the other end. "Now, I don't expect Charlie to get into too much trouble, so try to enjoy yourself! And if anyone oversteps their bounds... Well, let them know how we feel about that."
Naruto repressed a growl. Anyone who dared to lift a finger toward Charlie...
Blood will rain from the sky!
"Now, now, calm yourself, my friend. No need to get violent, yet." Lucifer chuckled from the other end. "Well, I'll leave you to it."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll hold down this end." Naruto shook his head and took another swig. His eyes sharpened a peculiar sound that squeaked on the end. "Luci..."
"It's not what you think!" Lucifer nervously laughed while attempting to pacify the beast.
Naruto simply growled before rolling his eyes. "Just don't get too engrossed in your... Work."
End the call and pocketing his phone, Naruto shook his head and repressed his laughter. Luci and his obsession with rubber ducks...
"Oh, that's it!" The bar erupted into chaos, and gunfire riddled the bar.
Naruto casually took another drink and watched the chaos unfold. Moxxie was smart and jumped over the bar to hide behind it after Blitzo sparked the fight.
A Sinner started it from what it looked like—attempted to hit on Loona. She had no interest, and he boldly continued.
Bad choice.
And now that same sinner was ragged dolled into Loona's maw, violently being torn apart while Blitzo repeatedly blasted his goons and Millie cut them down with a massive axe... Considering her size.
"Everyone here is insane." Naruto rolled his eyes, watching the scene before the bar entrance as it was smashed open—hordes of guards flooded in to protect the Sinner.
Probably some new hotshot he wasn't aware of.
Naruto released an exacerbated sigh. Taking one last drink, Naruto reached into a portal and withdrew a kunai with one hand and a pump-action, combat shotgun in the other before leaping into the fray.
"Can't say this won't be entertaining!" Naruto laughed, slicing through several demons before aiming and blasting another's head clean off his shoulders. Standing back to back with Blitzo as they were surrounded, Naruto grinned. "Ha! You sure know how to throw a party!"
"Ah, just a typical fucking Tuesday! You should see how Fridays usually go!" Blitzo laughed, barely acknowledging they were surrounded.
Naruto smirked. Oh, Luci was right. This job was gonna be fun.
"I take the ten on the left, you take the ten on the right?"
"Fuck you! I'll kill eleven!" Blitzo boldly announced.
"Oh, it's a challenge!" Naruto's eyes bled red. "I accept!"
"Let's go wild!"