"Oh my gosh!" I growled, launching a pillow with the precision of a heat-seeking missile toward my sister. "You've been sitting there rotting into the couch with that stupid book for a month!"
The room smelled like unwashed socks and bad decisions. She was currently deep in the trenches of a novel titled A Timid Cutie Patootie Trapped in a Castle with Alpha Sigmas. I mean, seriously? The author must have just picked the most annoying words possible and glued them together.
"You're rotting your brain with this trash," I said, lunging to snatch the book.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" Loraine hissed. She looked like a straight-up zombie. She had massive bags under her eyes, her hair was a tangled mess, and her lips were so dry they looked like cracked pavement.
"Um, ew. What is wrong with you?" I backed off, holding my hands up like she had the plague.
"What do you mean 'what's wrong with me'?" she snapped, hugging the book to her chest like it was a pile of gold. "I just got to the part where lady rustina crust-sleeve gets what she deserves!"
"BAHAHAHA!" I lost it. I started cackling so hard I actually fell over. "Rustina crust-sleeve? What kind of name is that? Is the villain a piece crusty sock?"
"It's not funny!" Loraine yelled, looking way too serious about a girl named after a forgotten sock. "She's been mean to Elina for like fifty chapters, and she's finally getting hers!"
"Sure, mcrusty ." I waited for her to blink, then swiped the book right out of her crusty hands. I flipped it over and started reading the back cover in the most mocking voice I could manage:
"Lady Elina was a beautiful, tiny girl who never left her house. Suddenly forced to go to school, everyone is obsessed with her perfect little face! She has five guys following her every move: The Scary Duke of the North, the Prince, a smart poor guy, a magic nerd, and a creepy assassin! Who will she choose to love?! What should she do?!"
I stared at the cover in total disgust. "This is literal garbage. Five guys? When does she eat? When does she sleep? Does she have a schedule for who gets to stare at her hair every hour?"
"Give it back!" Loraine squealed, reaching for it.
"Take this junk somewhere else! It reeks of 'True Love' and gross feelings in here," I said, shoving her toward the door. "My room is a romance-free zone. I don't want any of this 'Destiny' nonsense near me."
"It doesn't reek!" Loraine shouted, sticking her tongue out as I pushed her into the hall. "You're just a hater! You don't even have a heart!"
"At least I have a toothbrush! Your breath could knock out a horse!" I yelled back and slammed the door.
I leaned against the wood, finally enjoying the silence. I have a heart, okay? I just don't want it wasted on guys who look like filtered Instagram models with zero personality and too much hair gel.
I looked down at the floor. "Ugh, how did she leave this stupid thing in here? She's been glued to it for weeks."
The book was lying face-down on the rug, looking innocent. I reached down to grab it so I could chuck it into the hallway.
"Cutie Patootie my bu—"
The second my hand touched the cover, the floor didn't just feel soft—it disappeared. A swarm of pink sparkles and a smell like way too many roses sucked me downward. Before I could even finish my sentence, the world did a backflip, and I fell head-first into the pages.