I am in my room in front of the mirror while my nanny finishes combing my hair. I haven't left my room in days because most of the guests at my birthday party are men who want to court me, and I can't be alone with any of them until I'm married.
— What are you thinking about? — my grandmother asks.
— I hate being locked in my room.
— The wait is over — she says, placing her hands on my shoulders — You have to understand that it's for your own safety. With so many people around, it would be difficult to keep an eye on you.
— There isn't a second when I don't feel suffocated. You've done everything right — I say with a smile through the mirror.
— The king expects you to marry and have an heir to this kingdom — she says, locking eyes with me — There must be at least one among hundreds who catches your attention.
— Probably not — I say, turning my face toward her — I wish I could be free like you were in your youth.
— Freedom is earned through sacrifice — she says. — I got married and had your father. It took me a long time to choose another person with whom to share my final years.
At that moment, a maid enters and announces that my father is waiting at the table for me to join him. On my way to the hall, I think that maybe getting married could be something I would enjoy. According to my grandmother, my parents were very happy and loved each other unconditionally, so much so that they decided to wait years before having me for fear of no longer being just the two of them. "Princess Manady Carresme of Valgon!" I hear them say. Everyone stands up and bows before me. I walk down the aisle to the table and take a seat next to my father.
— You look beautiful, little owl — my father says with a smile — Happy birthday.
— Thank you, Father — I say, leaning down to kiss his hand.
— I will make sure you choose someone who deserves your hand — he says.
After lunch, the music starts and everyone dances in the middle of the room. Amid laughter and applause, I decide to mention my concern. — My father is very thin. Has his condition worsened? — I ask, expecting a verbal response, but my grandmother just shakes her head.
— Your Majesty, Your Highness — says a man in front of us, bowing. — I am Prince Fortis Griseo of Rubrum Vallem. Thank you very much for inviting me and my family to this celebration.
— It's good that you came — says my father — Enjoy the dance.
— Of course, Your Majesty — he says. Then he turns his gaze to me — Would you grant me a dance?
— Of course — I say after seeing my grandmother's effusive look.
Prince Fortis is much taller than me, with short hair and full lips. He looks different from what I'm used to seeing, but I can't say I don't find him attractive at first glance — Happy birthday, princess — he says, revealing his teeth in a smile.
— Thank you.
— It's a pleasure to finally get to know your country — says the prince when the piece ends — I've heard a lot about the great plans your country has.
— What have you heard?
— Our parents have been communicating through letters — It would be beneficial for both countries to share food and minerals, but unfortunately, it is a conversation that our parents have not been able to conclude — he continues — How about when you become queen, we talk more about progress?
— Of course — I say and smile slightly to hide my displeasure. I can already see the next dances coming, kings and princes seeking to talk to me for their own interests. If my father weren't seeking to expand the kingdom, I could marry any of the nobles in my own country.
Sometimes I think about my ancestor Estyn, who married and then, after having her firstborn daughter, murdered her husband so she wouldn't have to share the kingdom with him, or so the rumors within the castle walls say. Rumors that her own daughter prevents me from mentioning because Queen Estyn was never convicted for it. Sometimes it's hard for me to think that my grandmother Itzel was once young, despite seeing several portraits of her in her youth; she has always been old for as long as I can remember.
I allow myself to dance a few more pieces and listen to the music while trying to ignore the advances of the men I dance with.
We move on to the gift-giving, where I receive jewelry, rough gemstones, gold, and animals. Prince Fortis gives me a statue of what appears to be a nymph holding a tree in her hands.
After the last feast, I accompany the maidens and my grandmother as they take my father to bed, and I go to my room.
The next morning, I bid farewell to most of the guests and join Fortis in the library to ask him about the statue. Apparently, she is a kind of goddess in his country — I don't advise you to light a candle or pray to her — says Prince Fortis —You must be part of her lineage for her to hear your prayers and answer them.
— And how could I be a daughter of such a goddess? — I ask.
— You could be part of my family — he replies with a flirtatious smile.
— And I thought you wanted to indoctrinate me — I said mockingly.
— I understand, I shouldn't have been so obvious.
— I think your proposal on the exchange of food and minerals can be discussed further — I say after seeing him bury his face in the book — What is your interest in minerals?
— I wouldn't say it's an interest in minerals in general — he says, sounding a little more enthusiastic — Valgon has the strongest metal of all the metals found so far. Both countries can benefit from more detailed exploration of the land to extract such a valuable mineral.
— How could both countries benefit from this?
— If the metal is worked more thoroughly, progress can be made in more resistant weaponry and kitchen utensils for citizens.
— Weaponry has not been a priority for over a hundred years.
— Of course, that's why I'm trying to say that this could strengthen your armies. There would be more men in charge of the royal guard and soldiers serving to protect your citizens.
— Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, Prince Fortis — I say and leave. I don't intend to entertain such a conversation for another second. I exchange a few words with several of the guests who remain in the castle until my grandmother approaches to kiss me on the forehead. The others excuse themselves and leave when they catch my grandmother's signal for them to go. — My dear princess, I've seen you spend more time with Prince Fortis than with anyone else in the castle.
— I was just thinking it's a miracle of the gods that you didn't ask me about marriage prospects — I complain — He's a very direct man, nanny, according to my first impression.
— So, are you interested? — she asks with a smile.
— He says he's interested in a good business partnership, but he gave me to understand that he's looking for something more than just minerals and food. I'm not interested in a man who has hidden interests; I couldn't trust that the country wouldn't be harmed.
— But princess, everyone has hidden interests — says my grandmother — The best thing you can do is have your own interests. If you see an opportunity to take something that benefits us, do it. Love will come later.
— Or never — I say as I look at Fortis across the room.
The days pass and the guests leave, but there is one who seems reluctant to go, the prince of Rubrum Vallem. Today he will meet with my father, and I assume he will propose marriage. After a few minutes, I approach the door where they are meeting to find out what they are talking about, but the prince leaves the room in a huff.
— What's wrong, Father? — I ask, approaching him.
— What do you think of Prince Fortis?
— I'm not entirely convinced.
— You will not marry him — my father declares — He wants to take our country's minerals to claim land in the east of his continent — he says. As I imagined, such interest in the metal must be for something beyond what his words indicate — The kingdom will not participate in a war that could harm the economy and the loyalty of our subjects.
— Rubrum Vallem will not be an option for us — I say, agreeing with his decision.
Over the next few months, my grandmother insisted that I send letters to the princes, nobles, and foreign kings who attended my twenty-second birthday party. My father takes my decision so seriously that he removes the men I don't like from the guest list. Months passed, turning into a year between visits.
— There is no gentleman who pleases her — my grandmother complains. We are in the living room overlooking one of the royal gardens.
— I loved her mother as my most precious treasure — says my father. I smile at him and take his hand — I won't let anyone who doesn't deserve her marry her.
— If you're so demanding, I'm afraid you won't live to see her married — says my grandmother. — You won't be able to hand over the throne to her.
— Enough complaining! — he shouts, forcing himself to take a moment to breathe — We'll send a letter to the eastern lands.
— Do you really think you can marry her off to just anyone because you like them? Son, you're making a mistake.
— I will marry someone from the kingdom, Father. It is not convenient for me to marry someone from outside at this time, with so many rivalries between kingdoms.
— Then so be it, my child — my father replies — The world can wait for another generation.
My grandmother curses under her breath and nods at my words.