The next time he had some time away from training, Qiu Yunru went to the Sword Lake
He had decided to look for the ashes of that girl, Guo Mei. Since he had gained a higher Alertness Level through this temporary event, he figured he might be able to find something this time.
Also, he felt quite guilty for forgetting about it for so long. Vengeful ghosts and drowned corpse spirits were known to live in constant emotional turmoil, cursing those that killed them and filled with a violent rage and despair. That Fu Qiuyue who had been drowned and dragged to the Lan Bing caves--how much suffering had she experienced all these years?
On the way to the lake, he was spotted by none other than that little puppy of a kid--Pan Fa.
Pan Fa ran up to him, eyes sparkling. He was getting taller so quickly, almost eye-to-eye with Qiu Yunru!
"Qiu-ge! What are you up to? Didn't you kill three beasts with Lei-shijie last week? You've been gone so much on missions. Let me go with you!"
Qiu Yunru was flabbergasted. Even this kid's voice had dropped! It was true that Pan Fa had already been fifteen when they had met, but he had acted so cutely and been such an excited bun that he had really forgotten Pan Fa wasn't a little kid!
"All right, all right. This shixiong is going to the Sword Lake to look for something. You can come along."
He hadn't spent much time with Pan Fa lately, since they had been divided into different martial and cultivation practice groups. Pan Fa had fallen somewhat behind--or rather, Qiu Yunru had jumped ahead far quicker than was expected due to his secret knowledge of the game. So, they had talked less and less.
Now, walking together as Pan Fa yapped and chattered about this and that, Qiu Yunru found that he had actually missed this.
"I'm supposed to reach Foundation Establishment by the end of this year. Yi-shixiong says that's a good and quick time to reach that level, but everyone knows Qiu-ge already reached that last year and didn't even take a full year to get there. I've heard that disciples can invite certain people to view their sword ceremonies once they achieve a Golden Core. Qiu-ge will invite me, right? I want to see! Qiu-ge is definitely going to get the most elaborate sword! I wonder if anyone ever speaks to that blacksmith in the lake, he must get lonely..."
Qiu Yunru happily tuned in and out of Pan Fa's babbling, making a comment here and there. Pan Fa didn't mind; he was always too busy going on and on to check whether someone was catching very word or not.
It was like standing in a snowstorm. You won't catch every snowflake in your hair, but as long as you're outside, you'll get a few and be happy.
At the lake, Qiu Yunru instructed Pan Fa to dig in the snow and look for anything shiny, ashen, or containing hints of resentment. Pan Fa happily complied, hopping off to search the trees.
Even though his height had increased, his admiration hadn't dwindled a bit!
Qiu Yunru was a little embarrassed by this. It was okay to have a little kid following you around and idolizing you--that was normal behavior for a kid. But once they were as tall as you, wasn't that a little too much? Ah, well!
They didn't have to search for long. With his new alertness skills, Qiu Yunru caught onto something quickly.
There was a patch of dirt that radiated faint traces of some sort of unusual energy. It wasn't really resentful, and it certainly wasn't demonic qi. However, something was strange about it.
When Qiu Yunru went to touch that patch of dirt, his whole body was filled with an overwhelming, heavy, cold sense of despair!
Tears even sprang to his eyes immediately, then melted away into a numb sensation of depression.
Seeing his shige suddenly look so miserable, Pan Fa hurried over in a panic.
"Qiu-ge! What's wrong? Did you think of something sad? What is it?"
Qiu Yunru lifted his hand, and the sensation swept out of his body, leaving his limbs light and warm. A small sense of coldness still lingered in his chest, but it soon evaporated.
He smiled at Pan Fa. "Nothing's wrong--don't worry. It's just, this patch of dirt seems to be filled with an energy of despair."
"Despair? How can that be? Isn't only Resentful Energy the kind of energy that can be left behind like that?"
"Pan-shidi is smart--usually, only Resentful Energy can be left behind as a residue that might affect living mortals if interacted with. However, on occasion, when a mortal dies in unbearable despair or in complete tragedy, they might leave behind this kind of energy residue. Some cultivators have theorized about it, but it doesn't have a proper name yet."
"...How about Despair Energy?" Pan Fa suggested, eyes bright.
Qiu Yunru was just thinking that this name was a little too simple when he caught sight of Pan Fa's face, glowing like a lantern.
How could he bear to reject this kid when he was so proud of himself?
"Ah...I suppose a simple name is good. Despair Energy," He agreed.
"Is that was Qiu-ge has been looking for? Despair Energy?"
"Not exactly. I've been looking for some ashes. There was someone who died here a long time ago, and I want to bring their ashes back to someone who cared about them. The chances of finding something were slim, but it seems this may be it."
With Pan Fa's help, Qiu Yunru dug up a small patch of this dirt and placed it in a spiritual holding bag.
He couldn't be sure if these ashes belonged to Guo Mei. After all, it had been many years, and judging by the fact that only trace amounts of this..."Despair Energy" were left, it really seemed that her spirit had moved on. He couldn't call her with these ashes even if they really were hers.
He would just have to bring them to the Lan Bing Caves and see if Fu Qiuyue accepted them. He would need a permit to visit the caves again, so it would be at least a few months before he could.
Thinking about this was difficult on the way back to the dorms. Pan Fa pestered him endlessly:
"Whose ashes are these? Does Qiu-ge know the person who died? I didn't know someone died tragically at the Sword Lake!"
"Ah..."
Qiu Yunru really wasn't sure how much he should say. It wasn't really his story to tell, was it? And he really didn't want to describe that gory murder scene he'd viewed in that memory shard all that time ago!
"I don't know them, but I hope to help their friend by bringing them this token. It's just a small thing."
Pan Fa's eyes widened, sparkling in the afternoon sun. "Qiu-ge is so noble, returning someone's ashes! I want to be just like you!"
"It's really nothing special..." Qiu Yunru said weakly.
"Qiu-ge is so humble!"
"I'm being serious..."
"Amazing!"
______
The months passed like water. Winter melted into the earth, and spring came with flowers and birds, and then it was summer.
Though the season for recruiting new disciples had been autumn two years ago year, this year's recruitment season was in the spring, alternating every two years between these two seasons.