I told myself it was nothing.
Just comfort.
Just gratitude.
Just the result of everything we'd been through together.
But the more I tried to ignore it, the clearer it became.
I was developing a crush on Xavier.
It started with little things. The way I looked for him without meaning to when I walked into class. How my mood lifted when he sat beside me. How silence felt easier when it was shared with him.
Calvin noticed before I did.
"You're smiling again," he said one afternoon, nudging me with his elbow.
"At what?" I asked.
"At him," he replied, not even subtle.
I rolled my eyes, but my cheeks warmed anyway.
Xavier didn't change how he treated me. He was still calm, steady, respectful. He never crossed lines. Never rushed. And somehow, that made my feelings grow instead of fade.
One evening, we stayed behind to help clean up after a school event. Calvin disappeared halfway through, claiming he had "important business."
That left Xavier and me alone in the quiet room.
"You've been different lately," he said.
"So have you," I replied.
He tilted his head. "In a good way?"
"In a steady way," I said. "Like you're… always there."
His eyes softened.
"I want to be," he said simply.
My heart fluttered—soft, careful, hopeful.
As we walked out together, our hands brushed again. This time, neither of us pulled away right away.
I realized then that my feelings weren't loud or overwhelming.
They were gentle.
Growing.
Real.
And for the first time, I didn't try to push them away.
I let myself like Xavier.
Just a little more than before.