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I was climbing the stairs toward my bedroom when I spotted Go Chaeha leaning against a pillar nearby. My nerves immediately went taut. I had no idea how long he'd been standing there, watching me.
**Sly bastard.** This was exactly why I'd asked for a separate palace for Go Chaeha.
"What are you staring at so intently from over there?"
"There's a butterfly in the garden, so I'm just watching it. That's not a crime, is it, Your Highness?"
Go Chaeha's eyes curved into half-moons as he smiled.
Judging by how pleased he looked, he'd clearly witnessed what just happened.
"I didn't see any butterfly, but I did see a rat stealing flowers. Instead of watching me, why don't you check if you've lost anything?"
"Oh, those yellow flowers were a gift from me to my beautiful companion."
The fact that those two irritating people had met and were exchanging words was bothersome enough. And that woman had overheard my phone call—who knew what they'd discussed? They weren't in on it together from the start, were they?
The languid midday sunlight might have felt pleasantly warm to everyone else, but to me, it was nothing more than an annoyance forcing my heavy eyelids to stay open.
The door opened, and my senior aide entered. Seeing my tired face, he started to turn back, but I called him over.
"Hand it here. I need to finish the work."
He knew. If I took a break before completing my tasks, that time would never be used properly.
"It's documents regarding the Dongmiji District redevelopment project. The National Policy Council will discuss this agenda in two weeks."
"I'll review them. Leave them there."
It was well past lunchtime. I had no idea how much time had passed. Finally, I stamped the royal seal on what appeared to be the last document. I had no appetite for food—I just wanted to close my eyes and rest quietly.
Leaning back in my chair, I shut my eyes. The chair naturally tilted to support my weight. Light seeped through the gap in the curtains covering the window, teasing my face.
"Even the sun won't let me rest," I muttered.
I hadn't opened the window. I'd simply pulled the curtains aside to block the intrusive sunlight, and through that tiny gap, I happened to glance downward.
There she was—that woman—laughing.
The distance was too great for sound to carry, but her gestures alone made it clear she was laughing. She ran freely without any caution, stepping on the grass without even hiking up her skirts. Movements completely out of place in the palace. Too free. Too unguarded.
My brows furrowed involuntarily.
The palace should be quiet. Silence was order, and order was the royal family's rule. Yet there she was, laughing as if she ignored all those rules. Displeasure rose within me. Strutting about without even understanding what kind of place this was. Completely oblivious to the gaze looking down from above.
And yet, my eyes wouldn't leave her.
Forget Go Chaeha—what was it about you that irritated me so much? The moment you saw me, I could imagine you'd flinch, then look at me with contempt in those deep black eyes.
Ever since that woman Sunmi entered the palace, Go Chaeha seemed inexplicably more energetic. I saw them together like best friends more and more often. She hid the cold expression she'd shown me and spoke to him with a faint smile, as if they'd always known each other. With every interaction, my suspicions grew.
An irritation I didn't want to explain, and a curiosity I didn't want to acknowledge, sat uncomfortably somewhere in my chest.
Go Chaeha was drinking coffee at the table inside the annex. He looked like he was enjoying a leisurely moment in the sunlight pouring through the large glass windows.
"You look no different from a stray cat lounging on the street."
He turned his head slightly to look at me, then carefully set his coffee cup on the table and turned his body toward me, his back to the sunlight.
"Unfortunately, this is the only thing I can do while confined to the palace."
Go Chaeha's eyes curved into half-moons again. His blond hair reflected the sunlight, shining brighter than usual today. Everyone in the palace knew that dye job was his rebellion against the royal family.
No one here thought well of him.
"I understand it's frustrating to be confined within the palace. But I won't tolerate you disrupting order from within. Keep that in mind."
I'd only given him a warning, but Go Chaeha responded with an utterly absurd question.
"Your Highness seems displeased that she and I get along so well?"
What exactly did he mean by that? Was he talking about the two of them conspiring against royal rules, or was he saying something utterly ridiculous...?
"What else can I do in this palace? Don't worry. I'm just planning to have a little fun. That wouldn't go against Your Highness's wishes, would it?"
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"Where have you been?"
Jeong Najeong grabbed me the moment she saw me and dragged me to a corner.
"Oh, I just went back to my room to drop something off."
"That's why the head maid keeps singling you out—you're so oblivious and clueless."
"Sorry."
"You little rascal, I covered for you saying you had stomach pain and went to the bathroom. You owe me now, don't you?"
"Any more debts would be troublesome..."
"So, have you finished all your assigned tasks?"
"Yeah."
"Then follow me."
"Where are we going?"
"To settle your debt."
So that was why Jeong Najeong had built up the conversation. She actually had an errand to run in the palace garden and wanted company because going alone would be boring. The chatterbox always worked with someone by her side and had gotten scolded plenty for it.
The task they gave her was simpler than expected—something she could handle alone—so I mostly just kept her company.
On the way back to the palace, I told her why I'd been late today. Fortunately, she didn't scold me for entering the annex. She was only interested in my encounter with Go Chaeha.
"Chaeha-nim gave you flowers as a gift? Pfft."
"Why are you laughing?"
"Well, considering how much Chaeha-nim loves giving flowers, it's understandable you'd misunderstand. I bet there's not a single woman in this palace who hasn't received flowers from him."
"Oh..."
"There's even a saying that Chaeha-nim gives flowers to celebrate first-time entrants to the palace. Why? Did it make your heart flutter when you received them?"
"N-no! Not at all."
"Anyone who doesn't fall for that face would be the strange one."
"I said no."
"Oh my, look at those blushing cheeks."
Jeong Najeong teased me relentlessly, examining my red face from every angle. Then, after laughing her fill, she continued.
"When I first saw you, I thought you were an ice princess. Turns out you have a surprisingly human side? Smile more often. They say you can't spit on a smiling face. Even Kim Sera might pick on you less."
"I thought you and the head maid were close."
"What are you talking about? I'm just doing what I need to survive. I'm pretty good at reading the room. And when it comes to important matters, they leave me out and sneak off on their own little outings."
"She seems sulky that you're not included."
"I told you I have no interest in getting close! ...Hey, what? Now you're teasing me?"
Her mouth twitched despite her denial.
"You!"
I ran from Jeong Najeong as she chased me. As we ran, something like wind filled my lungs, and I laughed like a fool.
How long had it been since I'd laughed like that? Probably before my mother left. Without thinking, I missed her.
◆◆
After our private conversation in the garden, perhaps because some internal closeness had built up, or maybe because I'd grown curious about him—I started encountering Go Chaeha more often around the palace. When we crossed paths, I'd greet him with a faint smile. Gradually, that evolved into brief check-ins and light jokes.
Such rapid intimacy might seem strange to others, but it didn't apply to Go Chaeha, who loved freely.
"Good afternoon, Chaeha-nim. You seem to be in an especially good mood today."
"Is it that obvious? Actually..."
Go Chaeha lowered his head. I hadn't expected him to come so close. His breath brushed near my ear as he cupped his hand to whisper so no one else could hear.
"My studio just got finished today. Want to come see it?"
While my mind debated whether to go, my body nodded instinctively.
"Come to the second room from the end on the second floor of the annex at 8 PM tonight."
Even during dinner, I kept thinking about it. 8 PM, second floor of the annex, second room from the end...
After official duties ended, some cut passes to meet family outside, while others gathered for tea. I had no family to meet and no invitations for tea, so I quietly returned to my room.
I finished organizing the few belongings in my bag. Then an old photo slipped out. It showed me as a child, smiling while clutching my mother's hand. One reason I'd entered the palace was to pay off my father's debts, but I also wanted to hire a private investigator to find my mother. I wanted to see her—my one and only mother. And ask her why she'd left me behind.
As the clock approached 8 PM, I headed toward the annex through the corridors. As expected, it was quieter here than other places. Knowing Crown Prince Gowon lived here made it feel even more silent and cold.
*If he found out I'd come back here, he wouldn't let it slide. I needed to hurry before I ran into him.*
I climbed the stairs to the second floor and walked to the second door from the end. The faint floral scent I'd smelled in the garden wafted from the crack under the door. I carefully opened it.
I discovered the source of that fragrance. Flowers filled glass vases everywhere. Among them, those that had lost their color and taken on a different kind of beauty lay shattered within their containers.
"You're here. I was waiting."
Go Chaeha greeted me with that beautiful smile that could melt even eyes. I bowed politely.
"Thank you for inviting me."
Where he stood, a large canvas was set up, and in front of it sat a large red sofa big enough for a person to lie comfortably.
"Take your time looking around."
He handed me a glass of red wine.
I shifted my gaze to survey his studio. It was as spacious as Gowon's study, with high ceilings. What drew my eyes most was the Fazioli grand piano positioned in the center of the room. Drawing closer, I saw short notes scribbled in pencil and sheet music, as if he'd been improvising.
"Shall I play for you?"
His voice came from directly behind me, so close I startled and turned around. At this distance where our faces nearly touched, I stammered my response.
"N-no, that's okay."
Being alone with Go Chaeha in this sensual space made me even more tense. I sipped the wine in my hand. The sweet, bittersweet aroma and taste of grapes melted away some of my tension.
"Chaeha-nim seems so sensitive and versatile—an artist in every way."
"Completely unlike the Ko royal family, right?"
"That's not what I—"
He smiled leisurely, as if enjoying my flustered state, and took a sip of his own wine.
"Being confined to the palace, I had to find pleasure here. That's how I ended up with so many hobbies."
Hearing his words, I finally noticed the dark shadow behind his smile. Those beautifully shining light-brown eyes. That detached gaze seemed to awaken some maternal instinct in me.
"I'd love to hear you play the piano."
"Alright. If you want to see, I should show you."
He played one of his own compositions for me, and I emptied my wine glass—then refilled it and emptied it again as I watched.
I got drunk on the wine—and even more drunk on him.
When he struck the final key of the piece, I clapped. Unaware that my cheeks had flushed from the alcohol, I stared at him openly. But he didn't look away either.
"I have one request as well."
"Is there something I can help with? Please tell me."
A strange excitement washed over me as his gaze slowly swept across me. My heart pounded again at this unfamiliar emotion.
"Sunmi-ssi. Would you be my model?"
Was it the wine? Without thinking, I nodded.
Go Chaeha approached me slowly with a languid smile. With delicate hands like jade, he carefully undressed my dress.
When he lowered it past my upper body, I flinched and curled inward defensively. At my reaction, he spoke gently.
"If you want to stop, just say so."
I slowly shook my head.
He slid the rest of the dress down until it fell away. My white skin reflected the moonlight from the window, appearing even paler.
"I'm actually a bit surprised."
"Pardon?"
"Sunmi-ssi, I had no idea you'd be this beautiful."