The alarm went off at 6:55. I woke up.
The sky felt cloudy. The stains of time on the walls seemed cleaner than usual, yet somehow more visible than ever.
I got up from the bed. The weather was hot today, despite the clouds.
I slid into my school uniform, skipped breakfast in a hurry, and rushed to school, hoping to meet her today. Again.
The pressure built from my heart to my throat, just imagining seeing her again.
On the way to school, I saw it.
A missing poster. The poster of Tsukiakari.
Time froze. All her memories flooded my mind without knocking. My heart felt like broken glass, cutting me open.
Time stopped for me. Everything else sped up.
I didn't realize it, but more than an hour had passed. Then the school bell rang, breaking the frozen world.
I took the poster. My bag felt heavy on my shoulder.
The twisted shadows no longer scared me.
I reached my house. The hunched, red-eyed yokai was still there. I could see my reflection in its matte eyes.
I stayed on my bed for what felt like a blink. It was already seven at night.
The silence pressed down on me, heavy. All her memories played in my head. I could still feel her touch, her breath.
I wanted to cry, but part of me refused to accept the truth. Part of me still believed she was alright, waiting to be rescued.
I stood up and made up my mind to find her.
I took off the school uniform and put on my torn clothes. The breakfast of expired bread still lay untouched. I didn't feel hungry. No—I didn't have time to feel hungry.
I began my search.
I ran through the riverside, across Gekko Bridge, until my lungs gave out. They felt heavy beyond carrying. My legs felt like stone.
I fell.
Fog escaped my mouth. My hair covered my numb eyes. My knees absorbed the cold of the road.
I wiped my eyes, gathered myself, and started again.
I missed school for four days. Breakfast untouched.
The fifth day was a holiday.
As I prepared to leave, I heard a knock at the door.
It was Mrs. Kouya.
She stood outside in a black dress, a white necklace, holding sweet bread and milk. Her voice was gentle.
"Are you fine? You haven't shown up for four days. Are you sick?"
This was the first time anyone had visited me. I hadn't skipped school for more than two days before, and this time I was absent for four.
My house wasn't the cleanest place, but I asked her to come in.
She stepped inside. Her voice was heavy yet gentle, like a mother's.
"You haven't eaten or slept much lately, right?"
I looked through the window. I felt weaker than usual, the underside of my eyes dark.
She hesitated, then added, "Is it because of Tsukiakari?"
Tears began falling. I couldn't hold them anymore. The dam of false hope shattered.
She pressed my head to her chest.
"She'll be fine. And you'd better take care of yourself. Eat, sleep if not plenty, then just enough. Look at you. Think of her. Would she be happy seeing you like this?"
At that moment, I felt the warmth stolen from me twelve years ago.
She stayed with me for about an hour, cleaned my house, and stocked my supplies. Then she left.
I went out to search again. The whole night. No luck.
Exhausted, I fell on my bed at noon on the sixth day.
The alarm woke me. Neighbors whispered.
"The body of the newly shifted girl was found near the river by Gekko Bridge…"
My world snapped in half. I felt like puking. I couldn't hold it.
I ran toward her house. Rain started, it felt like a final farewell.
The road got slippery. The smell of rain brought back the dandelion field…
memories of Tsukiakari.
I fell to the ground. My knee bled. The rain intensified the pain.
I stood. It still hurt. Something hurt more.
But I didn't cry. I wanted to believe she was alive, that it wasn't her.
I reached her house and entered. For the first time, I didn't care what anyone thought.
Her parents were around her body, crying. She lay still.
People said the rope she swung on broke, and she fell.
But I knew that wasn't the truth.
I was there for a whole week.
No rope was broken, and no one fell.
The only ones who fell were these people.
As soon as people noticed me, they kicked me out.
I couldn't even have the dignity to cry aloud. Yet tears fell. Rain hid them.
I walked home, shoes muddy, clothes wet, and collapsed on my bed.
I had no will, no strength. My body was cold from outside, burning inside. My heart stopped.
Breaths grew shallow. It felt like my brain didn't care if I lived. It was lost in her memories:
Her lips touching my face
Her whispers
The fireflies
Her sparkling eyes
I finally broke.
A scream broke out, not too loud, but enough to release some of my heart. Tears fell. I didn't wipe them. No, I didn't want to.
Then someone knocked at the door. I ignored it.
Again. And again.
The knocking grew louder.
I wiped my tears. My right eye was still red. My heart felt like it vanished. I was numb inside, hollow on the right side of my chest. Yet a thread held it together.
I dragged myself to the door and opened it.
A box lay outside.
I lifted it.
Heavy.
It felt like something round was inside.
I opened it.
There was Tsukiakari's head. Lifeless.
The sparkle in her eyes gone. I could see my reflection in her matte eyes.
I froze. The thread finally shattered the void filled with a swirling black whirlpool of feeling, dominated above all by anger.
I fell to my knees. Drops of rain felt like daggers. Her head still in my hands. My eyes numb.
Suddenly, someone shoved Mrs. Kouya in front of me, mud covering her.
A second later, I saw the cloudy sky. Then Mrs. Kouya. Then my headless body.
My head fell on Mrs. Kouya's lap. She screamed, tears visible even in the rain.
The next thing I saw was
My body falling in front of me
Tsukiakari's head falling next to my body
and Mrs. Kouya being beheaded.
Villagers shouted behind me:
"That's what they deserve for helping that curse!"
"Bet those two were cursed too."
"They must be witches too."
A hesitant voice behind: "Maybe this… this is too much. This is going too far."
Silence.
Then another voice, louder, colder: "Are you cursed like him? Do you want the same fate?"
Through it all, Tsukiakari's parents cried. But it changed nothing.
The last thing I smelled was the rain.
Then a flashback: Tsukiakari said, "Let's see the fireworks next week together."
Fireworks were launched.
We watched
not in the sky.
Not of happiness.
But of sorrow and blood.
The red-eyed, hunched yokai at the door spoke. The last thing I heard:
"So who is cursed and who is not? Is the majority always right? Dead and living two horrors, really that different?"
Tears fell from my beheaded head. Which even the rain couldn't hide.
And then… I lost consciousness.
The world inside me burned apart.