Author Notes: Hello everyone! This is a collection of the side stories I will write for the characters in my main fic: OFA In The World of Honkai. These chapters won't always align with the current timeline. Some may take place in the past, some in the future, and some might not even be canon (What-If scenarios. You can also suggest any idea you might want me to try out!)
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the absolute crack fest fiesta that my mind came up with.
/ --- /
Kenji
The St. Freya dorms were dead silent.
It was 1:15 AM, the witching hour for exhausted student soldiers, and Kenji intended to exploit this silence for a very important reason.
He needed to figure out why the Float was such a pain in the ass.
Spread open on the kitchen table was Quirk Analysis for the Future – Vol. 13. The current page was a chaotic mess of scribbles, aggressive question marks, and a crude drawing of a stick figure labeled "ME" falling face-first into the dirt. At the same time, a speech bubble above it read "WHY??"
Quirk Entry: Float (7th User)Status: Dormant / Glitching.Progress: 0.5%Notes: Can feel it activating, like a tingling in my spine. But it won't hold.
Kenji tapped his pen against the paper, staring at his notes with a mix of exhaustion and resentment.
Danger Sense had been with him from the start—a constant jolt in his head that warned him of incoming attacks. It was something that he had unconsciously tapped into.
But Float? Float was proving to be a nightmare.
Every midnight for the past week, he'd snuck out to the training grounds to try and unlock it. He knew it was there.
He could feel the sensation at the very tip of his fingers. When he jumped, there was a split second where gravity seemed to lose its grip.
A sensation of weightlessness that made his stomach drop in a good way.
And then, just as quickly, the connection would snap. Gravity would remember it had a job to do, and he would plummet back to earth, usually landing with zero grace and pain.
'It's mocking me,' he thought, dragging a hand down his face. 'I have the raw power to punch the sky clear, but I can't hover two inches off the ground without looking like a fish out of water.'
He sighed, closing the notebook. That was a problem for Tomorrow Kenji. Tonight, Kenji had a different priority.
He reached for the steaming cup of instant noodles sitting next to his notes.
The Spicy Beef flavor.
The premium kind. He had hidden this specific cup behind a box of healthy, fiber-rich cereal in the cupboard because he knew Kiana would never look there.
'Finally,' Kenji thought, cracking his chopsticks apart with a satisfying snap. 'Peace. Quiet. Sodium.'
He lifted the noodles to his mouth, anticipating the burn.
BANG.
The dorm door flew open with enough force to rattle the windows in their frames.
Kenji wasn't worried. Danger Sense hadn't warned him of any danger, but the sudden sound still made him flinch hard.
His hand jerked, and the noodles splashed back into the broth with a tragic, wet plop, sending droplets of spicy red oil spraying onto his clean shirt.
"It's a conspiracy, Kenji! A calculated assault on my sanity!"
"Kiana quiet down! It's 1 AM!" He whisper shouted.
Kiana stormed into the kitchen. She wasn't wearing her battlesuit, just an oversized orange t-shirt and pajama shorts, but she marched with a frantic energy that had him a little worried.
Her face was flushed a bright, angry red—from her neck all the way to the tips of her ears. She slammed her hands onto the dining table, leaning in until her nose was inches from his.
"It doesn't matter, no one's in the dorm but you!" she hissed, her eyes wild. "I need a counter-strategy!"
Kenji stared at her, then mournfully down at his ruined shirt. "Kiana... my noodles. We talked about this. The door is not a Honkai Beast. You don't have to breach and clear every time you enter a room."
"Forget the noodles! My dignity is at stake!" She grabbed his shoulders and shook him back and forth, rattling his teeth. "Mei-Senpai is doing it on purpose! She knows exactly what she's doing!"
Kenji pulled himself free, feeling dizzy. "Doing what? Cooking vegetables? Being nice?"
"No! She's... she's flipping the script!" Kiana groaned, flopping into the chair opposite him and burying her burning face in her hands.
"It used to be simple, Kenji! I'd hug her, she'd blush, I'd feel cool. I was the smooth one! The Knight in Shining Armor! But lately? She's the one making me blush! She's gotten... bold!"
She peeked through her fingers, looking traumatized.
"Today during training? She wiped a smudge of dirt off my cheek. But she didn't just wipe it. She leaned in super close—like, invasion of personal space close—looked me right in the eyes, and smiled this... this knowing smile. I froze, Kenji! I stopped functioning! I just stood there stuttering like an idiot while she walked away humming!"
'She makes a ruckus at 1 AM… For this?'
Kenji sighed, finally taking a bite of his lukewarm noodles. "So... let me get this straight. You're having a crisis because your crush is flirting with you?"
"I'm not having a crisis! I'm losing!" Kiana slammed her hand on the table again, making the noodle cup jump. "I'm supposed to be the cool one! The Kaslana! But right now I'm just the damsel getting flustered every five seconds! I need to regain the upper hand!"
She pointed a finger at him aggressively. "You're a guy."
"Last time I checked,"
"So you know how to act cool when a girl gets close!" Kiana insisted, as if that explained everything.
"Tell me how to counter-attack! How do I make her blush? I need a move, Kenji! A finisher!"
Kenji choked on his broth. He coughed, pounding his chest while Kiana watched him with impatient blue eyes.
"You're asking me?" Kenji wheezed, wiping his mouth. "Kiana, look at me. I'm eating instant ramen alone on a Friday night. If I tried to be smooth, I'd probably trip and set myself on fire."
"But you read all those manga!" Kiana countered. "You know the tropes! What's the ultimate move to assert dominance? To make her realize I can be the smooth one too?"
"Kiana, there has to be someone more qualified for you to ask…"
"Nope!"
Kenji sighed again, pushing his noodles away. He knew that look in her eyes. It was the same look she had when she decided she could definitely jump on a Templar's back.
Once Kiana entered "Competitive Mode," there was no escape. Logic was useless.
"Fine," Kenji said, rubbing his temples. "If you want to seize the initiative, you have to be aggressive. You have to catch her off guard. Put her in a position where she has to look at you, where she can't just laugh it off."
Kiana's eyes lit up. "Yes! Aggressive! Like an ambush!"
"Sort of. There is... one technique," Kenji admitted reluctantly, tapping his finger on the table. "It's a classic. The Wall Slam."
"Explain?"
"The Wall Slam," Kenji translated. He stood up and walked over to the kitchen wall to demonstrate.
"The idea is to trap the target between you and the wall. You lean in, cut off their escape route, and loom over them. It forces them to look up at you. It flips the dynamic physically. You become the dominant force in the space—even if you are a head shorter."
Kiana ignored that last comment and processed his words. She looked at her own hand, then at the wall, her expression shifting from confusion to dawning awe.
"The Wall Slam..." she whispered, clenching her fist with reverence. "It's genius. If I do that, she'll be the trapped one! She'll have to blush! I'll be the cool one again!"
"Just be careful," Kenji warned, sitting back down. "It's about confidence, not force. It's psychological warfare, Kiana, not actual warfare. You don't—"
"I got this!" Kiana interrupted, jumping up from her chair. She cracked her knuckles, a grin spreading across her face that was equal parts charming and terrifying.
"Operation: Turn the Tables is a go! I'm going to wall-slam her so hard she won't know what hit her!"
"That," Kenji muttered, picking up his chopsticks again, "is exactly what I'm afraid of."
'You know what, I tried. Whatever happens is her own fault.' He thought as he took another slurp of his noodles.
/ — /
"Simulation Complete," the overhead AI announced.
Kenji collapsed onto a bench, wiping his face with a towel. For the last two hours, they had been running high-intensity endurance drills against waves of simulated Padrino mechs.
Bronya hovered nearby on Project Bunny, her expression impassive as she tapped away at a holographic screen.
She looked barely winded, though Project Bunny's cannon barrel was glowing a dull, heated orange.
"Subject Kenji's dodge reaction time has improved by 4.2%," Bronya noted without looking up. "However, your landing strategy still leaves much to be desired."
"I'm working on it," Kenji wheezed, unscrewing his water bottle. "Gravity and I are having a disagreement."
"Alright! Warm-up over!"
Kiana bounded into the center of the room. She was drenched in sweat, her white hair tied back in a messy ponytail.
While Kenji was contemplating the sweet release of death, Kiana was active with renewed energy.
She pointed a finger at Kenji. "Now that the physical training is done, it's time for the real mission! Operation Turn the Tables commences now!"
Kenji groaned, letting his head fall back against the cool metal wall. "Kiana, please. My legs are dead. Can't we do this later?"
"Negative!" Kiana marched over and hauled him up by his collar. "Mei is out to restock our groceries right now. That means her guard will be down! I have a window of opportunity tonight, and I need to master the Wall Slam before dinner!"
"We just talked about this a day ago, you can wait a little longer—!"
"Nope!"
"Why do I even bother…"
Bronya paused her typing. She drifted closer, floating slightly above eye level. "The Bronya is confused. Subject Kiana wishes to slam Subject Mei into a wall? That seems counter-productive to romance. And likely to result in an infirmary visit."
"It's a metaphor, Bronya!" Kiana huffed, crossing her arms. "It's a technique! It asserts dominance!"
"The Bronya is intrigued," Bronya deadpanned. "I will record this for... data analysis."
And potential blackmail. But that last part remained unsaid.
"Fine," Kenji sighed, realizing escape was impossible.
"Wait, I'm not practicing this with you right—"
"Ew, no"
"Hey!"
He gestured to the reinforced titanium wall of the simulation room. "Show me what you've got. But remember what I said. It's about the atmosphere, not the impact."
"Got it. Atmosphere." Kiana nodded intensely. She shook out her arms, hopping on the balls of her feet like a boxer entering the ring. She faced the blank metal wall.
"Okay. Imagine that wall is Mei," Kenji instructed. "She's looking at you. She thinks you're cute but harmless. You need to change her mind."
Kiana narrowed her eyes. She took a deep breath. Her expression shifted from 'focused' to something that looked alarmingly like 'constipated anger'.
"Stop," Kenji cut in.
"What?"
"You looked like you were about to mug her," Kenji said flatly. "Soften the eyes. You're trying to seduce her, not interrogate her about lost supply crates."
"Seduction faces are difficult," Kiana grumbled. She tried again, tilting her head and squinting.
"Better," Kenji lied. "Now, the approach. Walk up to her. Don't run. Walk."
Kiana stalked forward. To her credit, she moved with the predatory grace of a Kaslana. She closed the distance to the wall in three long strides.
"Now!" Kenji commanded. "Trap her!"
Kiana lunged. She raised her right arm, aiming to slap her palm against the wall next to where Mei's head would be.
But Kiana had spent the last two hours destroying mech plating with her bare hands. Her muscle memory was dialed to "Destroy".
BOOM.
Her palm connected with the reinforced titanium. The sound was like a gunshot. The metal buckled.
A spiderweb of fractures erupted from under her hand, and a dent the size of a dinner plate appeared in the wall.
"..."
"..."
"..."
Kenji stared at the dent. "That... was a load-bearing wall."
Bronya floated closer, inspecting the damage. "Impact force calculated at 4,000 Newtons. If that had been a normal wall, Subject Mei would currently be in the next room."
Kiana pulled her hand back, wincing as she shook dust off her knuckles. "Oops."
"Oops?" Kenji rubbed his face. "Kiana, if you do that to the dorm walls, Theresa is going to kill you and me for not stopping you! Control your strength you undersized gorilla!"
"I got nervous!" Kiana defended. "I just... I wanted it to be impactful!"
"It was certainly impactful," Bronya noted, snapping a picture with project Bunny's sensors. "Sent to group chat: 'Kiana vs Wall. Wall lost.'"
"Delete that!" Kiana shrieked, jumping to grab Bronya, but the smaller girl simply floated out of reach.
"Focus!" Kenji snapped, clapping his hands. "Okay, let's assume you don't destroy the building. You have her trapped. She's looking at you. What do you say?"
Kiana landed, smoothing her hair. "Right. The line. I need something cool."
She posed against the dented wall, leaning in with what she thought was a suave expression. She pointed a finger gun at the imaginary Mei.
"Hey there, good looking," Kiana said, dropping her voice to a gravelly whisper that sounded like she had a throat infection. "Are you a Honkai Eruption? Because you're blowing up my sensors."
Kenji buried his face in his hands.
"Subject Kiana," Bronya said, "that line has a 0% success rate. It also implies Subject Mei is a disaster that kills millions."
"Okay, fine!" Kiana huffed. "What about... Mei, your sword isn't the only thing that's sharp. Your beauty cuts me deep!"
Kenji snorted. "Sounds like you're bleeding out."
"Ugh! This is impossible!" Kiana kicked the floor. "Why can't I just say 'I love you'?"
"You can," Kenji said. "But you asked for cool. Cool is direct and confident."
He walked over to the wall (avoiding the dent). "Just tell her the truth. But say it like a fact, not a question. Just say: 'You look beautiful tonight.'"
Kiana blinked. "That's it? No metaphors? No… Whatever?"
"No. Just the truth," Kenji said. "If you say it while looking her dead in the eye, with your hand on the wall? That's a critical hit."
Kiana mulled it over. She looked at her hand, then at the wall. A slow grin spread across her face.
"You look beautiful tonight," she practiced, testing the weight of the words. She leaned against the wall again, careful not to apply pressure this time.
She looked at the imaginary Mei, dropping the 'tough guy' act and letting a genuine, confident smile surface.
"Mei," she said, her voice dropping an octave, smooth and surprisingly steady. "You look beautiful tonight."
For a second, she actually looked cool. The confident, protective Valkyrie she was meant to be.
"Acceptable," Bronya admitted. "Heart rate elevation probability: 65%."
"Yes!" Kiana pumped her fist. "65% is a passing grade! I'm ready!"
"You literally destroyed a titanium wall two minutes ago," Kenji reminded her. "Are you sure you can control your arm?"
"Positive!" Kiana grabbed her towel, beaming. "I'll be gentle—"
"Phrasing."
"—Gentle like a... like a feather! But a really strong, cool feather!"
She sprinted toward the exit. "Thanks, Kenji! Thanks, Bronya! Operation Counter-Attack is a go! I'm gonna go shower and then... It's showtime!"
She vanished out the door, leaving a trail of enthusiasm and sweat behind her.
Kenji looked at the dented wall. He looked at Bronya.
"She's going to break the dorm wall, isn't she?" Kenji asked.
"The Bronya calculates a 98.7% chance of structural damage," Bronya replied, drifting toward the door. "We should hurry back. I do not want to miss the fallout."
"Right… Let's go watch the disaster unfold—"
"The Bronya has a question."
Kenji stopped in his tracks, "Uhh, sure. Ask away."
"Why did Subject Kiana ask Subject Kenji for assistance in romance-related problems?"
"Maybe it's because I have tons of experience in this field. I had tons of girlfriends back in my day, you know?"
"..."
"..."
"That was the worst attempt at lying The Bronya has ever seen."
"Yeah…"
/ — /
The common room was tense. Not the kind of tension that preceded a surprise exam, but the specific tension of a Kaslana about to do something incredibly stupid.
Kenji sat on the sofa, clutching a bag of frozen peas to his shoulder—a souvenir from the earlier sparring session.
Bronya sat on the floor, seemingly engrossed in her handheld console. However, Kenji noticed that Project Bunny was hovering in the corner, its optical sensors subtly angled toward the door.
The red "Recording" light was taped over with a small piece of duct tape, but he knew it was active.
And then there was Kiana.
She was pacing back and forth in front of the door like a tiger in a cage, muttering to herself.
She had showered and changed into what she considered her "casual cool" outfit: a fresh hoodie and jeans.
She stopped, checked her reflection in the window, posed, and then resumed pacing.
"Target ETA?" Kiana barked, spinning on her heel.
"Subject Mei is currently unlocking the downstairs lobby door," Bronya reported without looking up from her game. "Estimated arrival in T-minus 45 seconds."
"Forty-five seconds!" Kiana panicked. She slapped her cheeks. "Okay. Okay. I can do this. I'm smooth. I'm a cool breeze. I'm... a glacier."
"Glaciers are slow and crush everything in their path," Kenji pointed out helpfully. "Maybe pick a different metaphor."
"Quiet!" Kiana hissed.
She took a deep breath, shaking out her arms. She positioned herself near the entrance to the kitchen, leaning casually against the wall—or at least, she tried to look casual.
"Remember," Kenji said, lowering his voice. "Eye contact. Gentle hand placement. The line. Do not destroy the damn wall."
"I know, I know! Gentle feather!"
Click.
The sound of the front door unlocking echoed through the room.
Kiana stiffened. She looked at Kenji with wide, nervous eyes.
'Don't look at me,' Kenji thought, sinking deeper into the sofa. 'You're on your own.'
The door opened.
Mei Raiden walked in, carrying a grocery bag in one hand and her katana case in the other.
She looked tired but elegant, her long dark hair shifting softly as she stepped inside. She spotted them and offered a warm smile.
"I'm back," she said softly. "Sorry I'm late. For some reason getting groceries was—"
"MEI!"
Kiana pushed off the wall and intercepted her. She moved with the speed of a Valkyrie engaging a target.
Mei blinked, startled. "Kiana? What—?"
"Hold that thought!" Kiana declared.
She maneuvered around Mei, cutting off her path to the kitchen.
It was actually a decent flank, Kenji noted. She had the positioning. Now came the execution.
Kiana raised her hand. She aimed for the wall beside Mei's head. She went for the lean.
But in the heat of the moment, with the adrenaline pumping and her heart hammering against her ribs, Kiana forgot one crucial detail:
Real walls are not made of reinforced titanium.
CRACK.
Her palm slammed into the wall.
Kiana's hand punched clean into wall, sinking up to her wrist. A cloud of white dust exploded outward, coating Mei's shoulder and Kiana's face.
Silence.
Absolute, suffocating silence descended on the room.
Kenji closed his eyes. 'Theresa is going to make Fu Hua beat my ass.'
Mei stood frozen, staring at the arm currently embedded in the hallway wall, inches from her left ear. She looked at the hole. She looked at Kiana.
Kiana was paralyzed. Her hand was stuck. She tugged it slightly, but it was wedged between two studs.
But Kiana Kaslana did not retreat. She had a mission.
Sweat beaded on her forehead. Her face was turning a shade of burning red. She couldn't back down now.
She leaned in, ignoring the fact that her arm was buried in the architecture. She looked Mei dead in the eye, summoned every ounce of her remaining dignity, and delivered the line.
"Mei," she croaked, her voice cracking mid-syllable.
She cleared her throat and tried again, dropping her voice to that practiced, smooth octave.
"You... look beautiful tonight."
It might have worked. It might have been charming, in a chaotic, disastrous way.
If not for the fact that as she said it, she tried to pull her hand free again.
RIIIIIP.
A chunk of concrete the size of a dinner plate tore loose, falling onto the floor with a sad clatter.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Structural integrity compromised. Romance integrity... unknown. The Bronya is entertained." Bronya whispered to him.
Mei stared at Kiana. She stared at the hole. She stared at the debris on the floor.
Kiana looked ready to cry. She slowly pulled her hand free, covered in white dust, and slumped against the ruined wall. "That did not go as planned," she whispered, her soul leaving her body.
Then, Mei's shoulders started to shake.
Kiana flinched. "I'm sorry! I'll fix it! Don't be mad!"
Mei wasn't mad. A sound escaped her lips—a small, repressed snort. Then another. And then, she burst into laughter.
It wasn't a polite giggle. It was full, bell-like laughter that filled the hallway. She laughed so hard she had to lean against the non-broken wall for support, wiping a tear from her eye.
"Kiana," Mei gasped, trying to breathe. "You... you broke the wall? For me?"
Kiana blinked, confusion replacing her horror. "I... uh… Yes?"
Mei shook her head, still giggling. She reached out and gently brushed the dust from Kiana's cheek.
Her expression softened, the amusement blending with something warmer, something that made Kenji look away to give them privacy.
"You really are an idiot," Mei said affectionately. She leaned in, entering the space Kiana had tried to dominate, and kissed her forehead. "But you're my idiot."
Kiana turned roughly the same color as a cooked lobster. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish.
"Now," Mei said, stepping back and picking up her grocery bag. "Go wash the dorm off your hands. I'm making stew."
She walked past them into the kitchen, humming a cheerful tune, leaving Kiana slumped against the scene of the crime.
Kiana slid down the wall until she hit the floor. She stared blankly at the ceiling.
"She called me her idiot," Kiana whispered, sounding like she had just won the lottery.
"She also laughed at you," Kenji pointed out. "For a solid minute."
"Maybe," Kiana mumbled, a dreamy grin spreading across her face. "But she kissed my forehead. So I don't care about anything else right now."
It looked like no words were going to convince her otherwise, so Kenji just let it go. He looked at the hole in the wall as Kiana strutted away to wash her hands.
"When will I get a girlfriend…" He muttered in irritation. Seeing those two so lovey dovey all the time made him jealous.
Bronya raised a brow at his reaction, realizing it was genuine and then actually laughing a little.
"What are you laughing at?!"
She shook her head, "Subject Kenji is an idiot if he does not realize many students have shown him generous amounts of affection."
"What? Who?"
"Forums." Bronya didn't elaborate and instead floated up with Project Bunny to head to her room.