Chapter 22: The New Script and the Little Sister
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
Listen here, see?
It's been a week since we busted into that Hassaikai joint and told those mooks to scram. A whole week! And let me tell ya, the world is spinnin' like a top on a greasy plate, but the Chaos Crew? We're sittin' pretty on top of the world, pal.
I was currently leanin' against a lamp post that wasn't actually there, wearin' a pinstripe suit I'd pulled out of a thin air, flickin' a gold coin that turned into a chocolate bar every time it hit my palm. I adjusted my fedora—which had a press-pass tucked into the band that just said 'THE BOSS'—and squinted at the horizon through a cloud of cigar smoke that was actually just the smell of toasted marshmallows.
"Look at 'em, Eri-chan," I said, talkin' out the side of my mouth like a real wiseguy. "The coppers, the heroes, the big-shots in the fancy capes. They're fuming! They're absolutely steamed! They want to put me in the clink for 'unauthorized vigilantism,' but they can't find the handcuffs that fit a guy made of ink and moxie!"
A few feet away, Sir Nighteye was currently vibrating with so much repressed bureaucratic rage that he looked like he was about to phase through the sidewalk. Next to him, Aizawa looked like he'd aged ten years in seven days, starin' at a police report that I'd personally edited so that every third word was 'HONK.'
They were mad. They were hero-mad. But they couldn't do a lick about it because the Big Mouse himself, Principal Nezu, had pulled enough legal strings to knit a sweater for a blue whale.
"Sunny-kun?"
A small, tugging sensation on my sleeve brought me back. I looked down, and the 'Warden' persona melted away into a giant, toothy grin. [P-TOOOIE!] I spat out the carrot-cigar.
"Yeah, kid? What's the word? What's the scuttlebutt?"
Eri was standing there, wearing a red dress with white polka dots. Her hair was brushed, her horn was shining, and she was holding a strawberry lollipop like it was a sacred relic. She wasn't shaking. She wasn't crying. She looked at the angry heroes, then up at me.
"They look... constipated," she whispered, a tiny, genuine giggle escaping her lips.
I doubled over, my laughter sounding like a slide whistle. [WHEEEEE-OOP!] "Hah! You hear that, Nighteye? The kid says you need more fiber in your diet! Put that in your 'Future Sight' and smoke it!"
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
A week. That's all it took.
Right after the raid, I'd handed the 'heavy lifting' to Aqua. For once, the Useless Goddess actually earned her salt. She'd spent three hours 'blessing' Eri's system, washing away the physical scars and the residual 'Overhaul' energy with a flood of divine water that also, unfortunately, flooded the Midoriya apartment up to the light fixtures.
"I am the Goddess of Purification!" Aqua had screamed, standing on a floating sofa while she poured a bucket of glowing blue light over Eri. "Be healed, tiny mortal! And someone bring me a high-quality sparkling cider for my efforts!"
It worked. Eri's skin was clear, her fever was gone, and her eyes finally had that 'cartoon shine' that meant she was officially under the protection of the Toon Force.
But the real magic happened in the courtroom. Or rather, Nezu's office, which is basically the courtroom of the gods.
Nezu had walked into the Ministry of Justice with a smile that made the lawyers want to retire and become monks. He'd produced a mountain of paperwork that basically proved the Hassaikai didn't legally exist, that the raid was actually a 'Highly Advanced Field Training Exercise,' and—most importantly—that Eri was a ward of the state with no living relatives.
And then came the adoption papers.
"My mother is a saint," I explained to Eri as we walked toward the Midoriya household. "She's got a heart the size of a Cadillac and a tolerance for weirdness that would make a ghost blush."
We walked through the door, and the 'Chaos Moms' were already in full swing.
My mom (Inko), Mitsuki Bakugo, and Sato-san (Aqua's mom) were sitting around the kitchen table. The house was currently a disaster zone—Mina was trying to teach Eri how to breakdance in the living room, and Dark Shadow was helping Izuku organize his new 'Eri Protection' notebooks.
Inko looked up, her eyes welling with tears the moment she saw Eri. "Oh, look at her! She's an angel! She's so... peaceful!"
"She's quiet," Mitsuki grunted, leaning back with a cup of tea. She looked at her own son, Katsuki, who was currently in the corner aggressively peeling an orange for Eri while screaming about "proper Vitamin C intake."
"Compared to my brat, she's a literal gift from the heavens," Mitsuki added. "She doesn't explode when you tell her to eat her peas."
Sato-san nodded, looking at Aqua, who was currently trying to explain to a goldfish why she was superior to it. "And she listens! When I told her to put on her shoes, she actually did it. Do you know how long it's been since a child in my house followed a command? It's a miracle!"
To the rest of the world, Eri was an 'abnormal' child with a world-shattering quirk and a traumatic past.
But to the Chaos Moms? She was the most normal kid they'd ever seen.
"She doesn't inflate her head like a balloon?" Inko asked, patting Eri's cheek.
"No, Mom," I said, sitting on the ceiling.
"She doesn't sweat nitroglycerin?" Mitsuki asked.
"Not a drop," Bakugo barked.
"She doesn't try to charge people for 'Divine Blessings' to pay off her gacha game debt?" Sato-san asked.
"She's a saint," I confirmed.
The three moms looked at each other and nodded in unison. Eri Midoriya was officially the "Normal Anchor" of the family.
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
Later that evening, the whole crew was crammed into the living room.
Toga was sitting cross-legged on the floor, showing Eri how to make origami knives (that were actually quite cute). Jirou was playing a soft, acoustic melody on her bass, and Kaminari was using his electricity to make a series of tiny, glowing sparks dance around Eri's head like fairies.
"You like it, Eri-chan?" Kaminari asked, his face actually showing a rare moment of gentleness.
"It's pretty," Eri whispered, reaching out to touch a spark.
I looked at Izuku. He was sitting next to her, his 'Hero Analysis' notebook open to a fresh page. He wasn't writing about her quirk. He was writing about her favorite color (red) and her favorite food (candied apples).
"We did good, Sunny," Izuku whispered.
"Yeah, kid," I said, the Brooklyn accent slipping back in for a second. "On the level. We're the top dogs now, see? We got a kid to protect, a band to play, and a world that's just begging for a little more chaos."
Suddenly, the front door burst open.
"SUNNY! I HAVE BUILT A SENSORY-STIMULATION BABY FOR THE NEW RECRUIT!" Mei Hatsume screamed, skidding into the room on a hoverboard that was spraying sparks everywhere. She held up a mechanical teddy bear that had laser-eyes and a built-in espresso machine.
"MEI! NO!" the whole crew yelled in unison.
Eri just looked at the smoking bear, then at me.
"Is the teddy bear going to explode, Sunny-nii-san?" she asked.
"Probably, kid," I grinned, pulling a giant '10/10' score card out of my pocket. "But that's just the opening act! Welcome to the Midoriya family, Eri. It's gonna be a riot!"
Eri laughed—a real, loud, belly-shaking laugh—and outside, the 4th wall vibrated with the sheer force of the "Happy Ending."