Chapter 30: The Script-Edit Sisterhood (Or- Why the Boys are Lucky to be Alive)
(Group Chat: THE SCRIPT-EDIT SISTERHOOD)
[A/N: This chapter almost didn't happen because my brain cells decided to go on strike. Huge thanks to my girlfriend for the assist! I'd thank her more properly, but I'm too busy roasting her for moving at 100mph. (Please don't leak the bunny suit pics, babe.)]
(Members: Pinky-Queen, Earphone-Rockstar, Goddess-of-Everything, Blood-Bunny, Gadget-Gremlin, Creative-Queen)
Pinky-Queen: EMERGENCY MEETING. 🚨
Earphone-Rockstar: Mina, it's 7 AM. Unless the school is on fire, go back to sleep.
Pinky-Queen: Not school fire! Heart fire! ❤️🔥 We've been training with the boys for months. We've fought villains. We've recorded a viral video in bunny suits (still mad about that, Sunny!). But we haven't had a GIRLS' DAY.
Goddess-of-Everything: Does this 'Girls' Day' involve a buffet? And will someone else be paying? I am currently in a financial dispute with a vending machine.
Blood-Bunny: I want to go to the mall! I need more ribbons! And I want to talk about Sunny-kun!
Creative-Queen: I believe a social gathering would be beneficial for team morale. And I have a platinum discount card for the I-Island Boutique district.
Gadget-Gremlin: Can I bring a portable hydraulic press? I need to test the structural integrity of a new alloy I found in Sunny's trash.
Earphone-Rockstar: No hydraulic presses, Mei.
Pinky-Queen: MALL AT 10! DRESS TO KILL! (Metaphorically, Toga! Put the knife down!)
[Scene Start: The Musutafu Luxury Mall]
The mall was a sprawling glass-and-steel monument to consumerism, but today, it felt small. It felt small because the six girls walking through the entrance carried enough collective 'Main Character Energy' to power a small city.
In the lead was Momo Yaoyorozu, looking every bit the heiress in a designer sundress, though her eyes were darting around as she tried to calculate the logistics of keeping this group together. Next to her, Mina Ashido was practically vibrating, her pink skin glowing under the LED lights. Jirou walked with her hands in her pockets, headphones around her neck, looking 'cool' while secretly checking her reflection every time they passed a window.
Then there was the 'Chaos Wing.' Mei Hatsume had goggles on her forehead and oil smudges on her knees. Toga was skipping, her messy buns bobbing, looking surprisingly cute in a red-and-black gothic lolita outfit Sunny had 'scripted' for her. And finally, Aqua.
Aqua was wearing a hat so large it had its own zip code and was currently complaining to a security guard that the fountain didn't have enough 'divine sparkle.'
"Alright, ladies!" Mina chirped, spinning around. "Rule one: No Quirk talk until lunch. Rule two: We are going to try on the most ridiculous outfits we can find. Rule three: We talk about the boys. NO SECRETS."
Jirou's earphone jacks twitched. "Why do I feel like Rule Three is the only one you care about?"
"Because it is!" Mina laughed, dragging them toward a high-end clothing store.
[The Changing Rooms: 1:00 PM]
The 'ridiculous outfits' rule had been taken very seriously.
Mina was currently wearing a neon-green jumpsuit that looked like it was made of sentient highlighter fluid. Mei had somehow found a steampunk welder's apron that she was trying to convince the clerk was 'casual wear.'
But the real show was in the center of the lounge.
"Momo-chan! You have to try this on!" Toga squealed, holding up a sleek, backless crimson dress that looked like it cost more than a Honda Civic. "Sunny-kun said red is your power color!"
Momo blushed, her fingers tracing the fabric. "He... he said that? When?"
"Yesterday! While he was using a giant eraser to remove the 'Property of HPSC' labels from Eri's toys," Toga giggled. "He said you have 'Classic Hollywood' energy. Whatever that means!"
Momo's heart did a strange, 'subtractive' thump. She had spent her whole life being told she had 'Potential' or 'Pedigree.' No one had ever described her as 'Energy.'
"He's such a flirt," Aqua huffed, struggling to zip up a blue silk gown that made her look like a literal mermaid. "He gives me head-pats and calls me a 'Cheetah,' and then he refuses to give me a loan for the arcade! How can he treat a Goddess with such financial cruelty?"
"Maybe because you spent the last 'loan' on a golden pillow for your nap-time, Aqua," Jirou muttered, stepping out in a punk-rock leather jacket. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. "Anyway, it's not just Sunny. The whole Crew is... a lot."
Mina pounced. "Oh? A lot? Like a certain 'Electric Idiot' who spends three hours trying to 'dirty up' his voltage just to make your bass sound better?"
Jirou's face went the color of a ripe tomato. "Kaminari is just... he's a moron. He tried to charge my phone and blew up the microwave."
"But he stayed up all night with you fixing those amps," Mina teased, nudging her. "And he didn't even complain when you hit him with your jacks for 'testing the structural integrity' of your hair."
"He's... persistent," Jirou whispered, a small smile tugging at her lips. "He's an idiot, but he's my idiot."
[The Food Court: 3:00 PM]
After three hours of shopping, two near-arrests (Mei tried to 'upgrade' an escalator), and Aqua being banned from a frozen yogurt shop for 'blessing' the toppings until they turned into wine, they finally sat down with a mountain of burgers and fries.
The mood shifted from frantic to reflective.
"So," Mina said, leaning forward, her chin in her hands. "We've talked about Kaminari. We know Izu-chan is the world's most earnest cinnamon roll. We know Bakugo is a walking OSHA violation who secretly likes it when we compliment his drumming. But what about... The Boss?"
The table went quiet.
"Sunny-kun is... different," Toga said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. She poked a fry into her ketchup. "Before I met him, the world was so quiet. It was just... beige. Everyone wanted me to be 'normal.' They wanted to cut out the parts of me that were 'scary.'"
She looked up, her yellow eyes shimmering. "Sunny didn't. He didn't just accept the scary parts; he made them funny. He gave me a camera and told me I was a 'Co-Star.' He didn't fix me. He just... changed the script so that being me wasn't a crime anymore."
"He did the same for the Hassaikai," Mei added, her goggles clicking as she adjusted her zoom. "Everyone sees his Toon Force as a joke. But have you seen his workshop? The physics there... they don't just 'break.' They care. He built a 'Reality Crayon' for Eri that physically cannot draw anything sharp. I tried to override the code with a laser-cutter, and the laser turned into a string of sausages. He hard-coded 'Safety' into reality itself."
Momo nodded slowly. "I used to think he was just chaotic. An anomaly to be studied. But during our Mario Kart match... I realized he wasn't trying to win. He was trying to make me angry. Because when I'm angry, I'm not 'The Yaoyorozu Heiress.' I'm just Momo. He pushes us until we forget the roles we're 'supposed' to play."
"He's a pain in the butt," Aqua grumbled, though she was hugging a plush rabbit Sunny had won for her earlier. "He makes me work. He makes me 'purify' things. He treats me like a regular girl instead of a Goddess."
She paused, her bottom lip wobbling. "But... when I cried because I lost my favorite hairpiece in the park? He didn't tell me to get over it. He turned the whole park into a 'Hidden Object' game and wouldn't let the sun set until we found it. He... he's the only one who actually listens to my whining without rolling his eyes."
Mina sighed, a dreamy look in her eyes. "He's the 'Anchor.' Bakugo provides the fire, Izu-chan provides the heart, but Sunny? Sunny provides the Happy Ending. He takes the weight of the world, turns it into a 50-ton weight, and then lets it fall on his own head so it doesn't hit us."
"He's the most caring person in the Crew," Jirou admitted, leaning back. "Because he's the only one who realizes that life is a tragedy if you don't keep the cameras rolling on the comedy."
[Scene: The Arcade - 6:00 PM]
The girls were in the middle of a high-speed 'Dance Dance Revolution' battle when a familiar [BOING] echoed through the arcade.
A yellow blur zoomed past the prize counter, and suddenly, Sunny Midoriya was leaning against the side of their machine, wearing a tuxedo with a 'Staff' badge he'd clearly drawn himself.
"Well, well, well!" Sunny chirped, his head doing a 360-degree spin. "If it isn't the Leading Ladies of the Calamity Class! I was in the neighborhood looking for a sentient pinball machine, and I thought I smelled the scent of... what is that? Designer perfume and greasy fries? My favorite combo!"
"Sunny!" the girls shouted in unison.
"Hey, Boss," Mina grinned, stepping off the dance pad. "We were just talking about you."
"Oh? Was it the 'Harem' rumors?" Sunny asked, pulling a giant megaphone out of his pocket and announcing it to the whole arcade. "BECAUSE I ASSURE YOU, MY HEART IS LARGE ENOUGH TO BE A MULTI-FAMILY DWELLING!"
Momo, Mina, Toga, and even Aqua all flushed different shades of red.
"SHUT UP, GAG-BOY!" Jirou yelled, though she was laughing.
Sunny grinned, his teeth doing a literal [DING!] of white light. He walked over to Eri, who was hiding behind his leg, holding her Reality Crayon.
"Eri-chan wanted to show you something," Sunny said, his voice dropping into that warm, genuine tone they had just been discussing.
Eri stepped forward and used her crayon to draw a crude circle in the air. The circle manifested into a giant, shimmering bubble that floated over the group. Inside the bubble, a tiny, marshmallow-density version of all six girls and the Chaos Crew boys were holding hands, dancing in a circle.
"Sunny-nii said we're a 'Family,'" Eri whispered. "And families always have a happy ending."
The girls looked at the bubble, then at Sunny, who was busy trying to eat a plastic coin.
He was a nuisance. He was a physics-breaker. He was a loudmouthed clown who spoke in a Brooklyn accent when he was excited.
But as they walked out of the mall, with Sunny walking on the ceiling above them and Eri holding his hand, they realized he was exactly what the world needed.
He wasn't a hero who fought for justice. He was a script-editor who fought for smiles.
And as the sun set over Musutafu, the "Class of Calamity" felt less like a group of vigilantes and more like a masterpiece in the making.