In my entire life, I've hard my ups and downs. Got betrayed and stabbed right in my very before. This also account to why I have few friends and not many, considering the fact that I'm a social being and an extrovert at that.
But one thing I hold dear because it's one thing my father held till his last breath. I must confess, I didn't know much about hope neither did I knew I was capable of such ability to portray. But I had so many questions unanswered and my hope was on my late dad whom I held dear to all his sayings and warnings.
I was a raising hell for my mom and siblings because I thought noby cared for me neither for anything that concerns me. So, I grew up as a loner and refused to let anyone in. Of course I love! I had my first love when I was in JSS 3, a month before the death of my dad and we were doing great.
Then my second and third love came and went and with each relationship, I was shattered from the bottom up of my heart. Love became another story I can read about but won't experience it myself.
That made me clingy! I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but my last relationship broke off with a 'you're obsessed' and nothing else. That was my break up message till date, he won't even tell me what went wrong because before that message, we were doing fine and talking just fine.
This left me shattered and resenting love. But still, here I am in love still with him - even I don't know why - and with another who doesn't even give a shit about me.
This is my weakest weakness, I trust too quickly, I befriend easily, I love with my whole being and I am too hopeful for my liking.
But some things you don't fence! Not that you cat fence them, but because if you fence them, you won't have any peace of mind.
I am an easy going person, maybe that's why I am too hopeful for things that are beyond my reach.
Look like for instance, I wish I can be the president of my country and right all the wrongs done, but how remained my biggest question yet. I want to give electricity to the poor, not just the rich; I want to make job opportunities available for everyone at zero cost - as an agent or so - to the right candidates based on their qualifications and not based on who they know; I want to take Nigerian educational system to the same standards as China....
The list goes on for all the things I am hopeful for. I am also hopeful for a better life. Hope for a life partner that will be good to me and I him. But most things go without saying, but still, I'm hurt at the end, no matter how good or harsh I am.
But still, I have an un-dwindling high dose of hope that I'm not sure of what I'll use it for, and that scares me. But does that mean I do not love? No, of course I do!
All the people who hurt me, betrayed me and were nasty to me, I still have hope that one day they will see their wrong and make amendment, even if it won't be with me.
I am this hopeful! This is a scary movie I wish it doesn't have me as a centre main character in it.
I have tons of hopes and faith in places in my life I never thought I will look twice there or with the people I thought I can see again. I feel too good for my liking!
Sometimes, it makes me feel like I'm being over used by some people because of how much hope and faith I have in things and people. They just used me to get what they want and that pisses me off. Yet, yet here I am still hopeful and grateful that I am a person full of hope.
To be frank, if I ever change, you're not going to like it neither will I. and I pray to God Almighty that creates me and sustain me, keep on sustaining me with grace and hope that the future I see, is the future that's there to come.