Shigure was trying to find Tenryuu and Tatsuta, desperate to say anything resembling parting words to them before they participated in whatever Project Psyche was, risking their lives and possibly dying without her being at their side.
She wasn't exactly certain what the Project was about save for researching on the ship girl soul and utilizing its energy reserves, but all Shigure cared about right now was the odds of her friends surviving, scientific curiosity be damned.
30% was far too low for her liking, although the soldier in her understood that sacrifices were inevitable in war, and the Tenryuu-Class cruisers had chosen to volunteer for this procedure and were told of their odds beforehand as per their rights to know what they were getting themselves into before making their choice.
There were talks of becoming stronger, and she understood how the Tenryuu-Class light cruisers might want to improve themselves in order to keep themselves relevant in the long run, since their stats aren't impressive and they currently didn't possess Kai Ni remodels.
After listening to the Admiral's meeting and her talks of Project Psyche, she knew that she had little time left before the two of them left for Project Psyche (OK, she knew they went for their checkup tomorrow she still had an entire day left, so she was overreacting a little).
And even though she had talked to her teammates before this, when the Tenryuu Sisters had sought out the members of the 1st Fleet in order to have a good chat with them a few days ago, she wanted to talk to them again after knowing they may die in this upcoming Project.
Although it made sense for them not to tell anyone of Project Psyche and their odds of not returning, the entire Project was likely top-secret and forbade them from even mentioning it to others, and they likely didn't want their last conversations with their friends to be sappy and filled with choked tears and goodbyes.
All so reasonable, but she just couldn't bring herself to see it that way.
She was now in the light cruiser section of the barracks, and she saw that Tenryuu and Tatsuta were leaving their room in order to do something or another.
Not on her watch.
Shigure ran forward and tackled Tenryuu in a tight embrace, since she understood how Tenryuu, after dealing with the Akatsuki Sisters, would respond better to this hug than the aloof and mysterious Tatsuta, squeaking out,
"Tenryuu-san! Tatsuta-san!"
Tenryuu, slightly surprised by the sudden appearance and hug, looked down with her one eye as she ruffled Shigure's hair with the tenderness of an experienced guardian as she comforted the seemingly-distraught Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer.
"Woah, there, Shigure. What's wrong? You feeling alright?"
Shigure looked up with tearing eyes, all while knowing that this would get the two sisters to lower their guard, and she began lying through her teeth about her concerns regarding the light cruiser duo.
"N-No! Everything's not alright!
I had a nightmare last night, and…"
She swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked down and started covering up her recent activities with Shiranui, and had made up a lie shortly before this in order to express her concern for their well-being clearly without explicitly referring to anything specific regarding their future endeavors.
This way, she could justify her sudden outburst of emotion without requiring her to engineer a real-life event to explain it away.
And what else would accomplish that better than a nightmare?
"I had a nightmare, wherein the two of you disappeared after I came back from a sortie. A-And no matter how hard I looked around the base, I couldn't find any traces of you two, as though the both of you had disappeared from the face of the Earth…"
She could notice Tenryuu looking at Tatsuta warily, and knew that although they were somewhat on guard after hearing how eerily accurate Shigure's "nightmare" seemed to predict the worst possible future, they weren't exactly suspicious of her.
She may not be speaking the complete truth, but her words conveyed her feelings without revealing how she learnt of their situation as she continued.
"Because of this nightmare, I-I can't help but feel that I'm going to lose you both, and I don't want that! I don't want the two of you to leave!"
Shigure looked up at the both of them with doey eyes, genuinely feeling as if she was to cry anytime soon and making it very apparent to them.
But it was Tatsuta who responded to her words, albeit taking a surprisingly mature tone instead of the gentle one Shigure was sure Tenryuu would go with, speaking in an equally cryptic tone about what they were going to do next, and how they might not return at all.
"That fear is not unfounded. We've been chosen to be experimented on in order to achieve a… remodel of sorts."
Tenryuu's gaze morphed into one of worry, and her tone broke down to reveal a deep-seated panic about revealing Project Psyche to an outsider.
"O-Oi, Tatsuta! We shouldn't be telling others—"
"… of Admiral Haru's attempts to help us attain our Kai Ni remodel?"
Tatsuta smoothly interrupted her elder sister's sentence in order to explain herself, and left the two members of the 1st Fleet dumbfounded as Tatsuta played Shigure's game.
"Well, the development of a new Kai Ni remodel is fraught with danger and the possibility of death, since we're attempting to tinker with our own bodies in ways no one has ever attempted to before. The Admiral, despite her best attempts to push our engineers and Fairies on to improve our odds of survival, has warned us that there is a distinct possibility of us dying for real."
Tatsuta looked Shigure in the eye, and she had to look away morosely as Tatsuta stated the facts and their odds of surviving this procedure.
"I want to tell you that it's alright, that we will come back safe and sound, but I don't want to lie to you about our situation."
Shigure cringed upon hearing that last line, understanding that much like how Shigure wanted to express her concern without exposing her situation, Tatsuta was also trying to be as truthful as possible without giving everything away, and it hurt the both of them to try and tiptoe around each other despite wishing nothing more than to come clean with each other because of the sensitivity of the situation at hand.
Tatsuta continued with a rather somber tone,
"I won't lie to you that we're coming back for sure, partially because I know that you are mature enough to see through such blatant lies, and I can only ask of you to know this before we go. We want to come back. To be with you, Junyou, Hiei, Ayanami and everyone else in this base. We will do our best, but we cannot guarantee our survival, and if we are to die, I want you to know that we tried."
Shigure withered, looking down at the floor as her shoulders slouched in defeat, but Tenryuu patted her on the head as she looked up to find Tenryuu giving her a mature, yet cheery and genuine smile as she stated bravely.
"Maa, don't worry too much about it, Shigure! Much like what Tatsuta said, even though I can't guarantee that I'm gonna come back, I want you to be strong in knowing that I'll do everything within my power to make it back to you, alright?"
Shigure nodded sadly after she considered their words for a moment, because she understood that the two Tenryuu-Class cruisers were strong-willed and understood their situation well enough to know that they still had a fighting chance.
But she wasn't exactly sure how the procedure in Project Psyche worked other than utilizing high-level technology to assess the ship girl soul, which was an enigma in its entirety due to the fact that the engineering prowess required to create one was beyond even that of the Fairies, as the little engineers only knew how to summon them from…
Wherever they came from, which added to the mystery behind one of the biggest driving forces within the ship girl body.
She looked up at her two teammates as she expressed her reluctant understanding of their situation and how they wished to become stronger, and while she understood the logic behind their wish to become stronger despite their limits holding them back and acknowledged that their odds of survival weren't abysmally low, she still wanted her friends to be safe.
"I… I just… I don't want you two to go.
I understand that your odds aren't hopelessly abysmal, and I understand that recent events necessitate taking a few risks in order to become stronger, but still…"
Tatsuta nodded, understanding the reference to the Battle of Mikura Jima Island and how it spurred them all on in order to become stronger, and she leaned in to look Shigure in the eye as she explained their reasons for risking their lives to become stronger and be the pioneers of a new wave of technological developments.
"Look, like Tenryuu-chan explained to me, being part of this project means that we can get to become stronger earlier than any of our counterparts in other bases.
And even though dying is not a preferred outcome, we understand that this risk is par for the course in order to help develop a new remodel for others to receive down the road with better odds of surviving this procedure. I appreciate your concern, but since you understand that we need to do this to become stronger so that we can protect everyone else, I implore of you to let us go for this procedure."
Shigure nodded again, knowing that she never really stood a chance in getting the both of them to pull out of the Project, but she wanted them to know that she wanted them to come back, wanted them to be safe after finding out about what they were about to go through and could happen to them, looking down as she talked about how she understood why they had to do this.
"I understand that you two have decided on this course of action, and I trust that you two have already considered and understood the consequences and have accepted them. And while I disagree on how you two didn't really tell any one of us about participating in this procedure, risking your life and making things extremely awkward for the other sister should one of you not make it, I suppose I can't fault you if you don't want to make your last conversation with everyone a sad goodbye with tears and hugs. I-I'm sorry for ruining that…"
But Tatsuta and Tenryuu's expression relaxed as they leaned down, the nameship of the Tenryuu Class patting her on the head as she cracked a wide smile and remarked.
"Ah, why would we feel that a friend expressing her heartfelt concern is anything but endearing? I'm glad you're opening up to everyone, and it's great to see that someone wants me to come back alive. I certainly hate disappointing people, so believe me when I say that I'll do my best!"
Shigure couldn't help but break out into a relieved smile at how even though she was facing unfavorable odds, Tenryuu and Tatsuta had understood that while their odds weren't great, it wasn't entirely hopeless either, and Tenryuu put Shigure's concerns to rest with her confident smile and softer, but much more mature and therefore reassuring demeanor.
She nodded, and Tenryuu turned away as she headed towards somewhere, turning back to address a still Shigure with her parting words.
"Well, even though I understand the fact that I may not return from this procedure, I don't want my last words to sound sad and all and make you feel depressed, so I guess I'll see you when I see you, hmm?"
Shigure blinked, before nodding slowly and acknowledging Tenryuu's wish to keep their last conversation upbeat and at least bittersweet in its happiness rather than outright sad and depressing, and Tatsuta looked to her sister as she commented soothingly in order to get Tenryuu to do as she said.
"Tenryuu-chan, go on ahead. I wish to say my parting words to Shigure in private."
Tenryuu nodded, and gave Shigure a small salute with her index and middle finger as she turned and walked away.
Tatsuta turned to look Shigure in the eye after Tenryuu was out of earshot, and began her little speech on how her concern, despite never standing a chance in convincing her to change her mind, was still thankful for Shigure expressing her wish for them to come back alive.
"Shigure-chan. I thank you for caring so much about our well-being, and being so understanding of our need to surpass our current limits in order to protect you all. I understand that I'm not the kind of person to express my own feelings honestly, so please bear with me for a while."
Shigure nodded as Tatsuta's smile diminished in intensity, yet became even more genuine as she continued her speech and lowered her gaze, inadvertently looking away as she did so.
"While I genuinely don't wish to leave you all, my odds of surviving this procedure isn't very optimistic, although it's not hopeless. I accept all possible outcomes, but even though we didn't tell you all about participating in this top-secret procedure which might kill us, Admiral Haru did allow us to write letters to all of you, and would keep them until we died, whereupon she would send them to you, and Admiral Haru would formally apologize to you all at that point for causing our deaths. We don't wish to send these letters out to you when we still have a chance of surviving this procedure, and make things awkward for everyone if we were to live after sending you such a depressing letter."
Shigure pointed out in a calm tone as she reminded Tatsuta about how they agreed to the procedure after being properly informed of their odds.
"Well, for something like this, Admiral Haru must've told you about your chances of survival, and it isn't exactly fair for us to blame Admiral Haru for your deaths if you've already been informed of your odds and agree to participate in it anyway."
Tatsuta's smile became rather sad as she asked Shigure a question on the likelihood of every ship girl in this base sticking by that logic when a close friend was ripped from their lives.
"Well, I wouldn't put it past other ship girls who are more emotional and highly value their relationships with others to do the opposite. And who's to say that even those whom you know to be level-headed wouldn't be affected even more negatively in the wake of a friend's death, no?"
Shigure nodded sadly as she knew that ship girls were partially human, and would react differently to the passing of others depending on how close they were to the deceased and how they took the news.
Some might shake their heads and mourn the waste of another life, others might break down and cry, others might find someone to blame for the cause of their friend's death, and Shigure found it hard to predict how everyone would react to the news of their friends' deaths, as much as she wanted to know how everyone would react in certain situations to prepare herself accordingly.
"I… I understand."
Tatsuta gave Shigure a wry smile, and turned away to join Tenryuu as she parted with the sad, yet accepting Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer with her final words.
"Well, much like what Tenryuu-chan said, see you when I see you."
Before turning away and walking off into the distance.
And although Shigure was sad to see her go, she knew that the two of them had already made their choice, and she shouldn't overstep her boundaries by whining like a child in attempting to get them to stay.
But the next exchange took her entirely by surprise as Tatsuta stopped and muttered something loud enough for Shigure to hear as she looked at the stopped Tenryuu-Class cruiser's back and her purple mop of hair.
"This is just my woman's intuition at work here, but… Was it really a nightmare which drove you into seeking us out today, Shigure-chan?"
Shigure flinched just as Tatsuta turned around to observe her, and she barely maintained her facade as she started to sweat underneath Tatsuta's scrutinizing gaze, and she swallowed the lump in her throat as she gave an awkward smile and answered.
"O-Of course, Tatsuta-san. Why would I ever lie to you?"
And almost cringed at how bad of a liar she was when trying to lie to her friends' faces.
After about five seconds of silence and a tense smile from her, Tatsuta gave Shigure the warmest smile she had ever received from the Tenryuu-Class cruiser as Tatsuta simply responded.
" … I see. Let's hope that you no longer have these nightmares, and that my intuition is wrong, hmm?"
Shigure responded with one hell of an awkward smile as she tried her best not to cringe at her own attempts at selling her own lies.
"Thank you, Tatsuta-san. It's not going to help much, but I will pray for your safe return."
Tatsuta nodded, her silky, short hair bouncing along with the motion as she turned to catch up with her sister ship, and Shigure dropped her smile in order to smack herself in the forehead when Tatsuta left the immediate vicinity.
Well, that went well. Shigure knew that even though Tatsuta might be onto her due to her own inability to keep a straight face while telling a lie to her own friends, but because her "nightmare story" only had her word to go on, this meant that she was safe for now since Tatsuta couldn't prove anything.
She got her feelings across and managed to express her wish for them to come back despite perfectly understanding the fact that they made their choice to deliberately risk their own lives in order to get stronger, and she had to respect their choice despite disagreeing with the 30% chance of survival.
It was infuriating, almost maddening, to be powerless in times like these when she had to essentially wait around for things to happen and she couldn't do anything to change the outcome, in this case because she had no say in who could and couldn't participate in Project Psyche.
She shook her head despondently, knowing that worrying about things that were beyond her control wasn't doing anyone any good, she had to protect those around her by training to become stronger and do well in the upcoming sorties and battles.
Everyone was doing the same, and she turned away in order to head towards the training ground, since there was a training session immediately after this.
It hurt, to learn to accept reality for what it was and the limits of her influence and capabilities, but it also allowed her to realize that she had to focus on what mattered the most in the here and now and work hard within those capabilities and limits in order to protect as many of her friends as possible without overexerting herself, because she was no good to anyone as a fatigued wreck.