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Chapter 41 - Chapter 40: A Desire Stronger Than the Desire to Survive

Sheng Ming moved between the three bodies sprawled across the ground, her hands flashing as three thin strands of green light from the Tree of Life stretched toward Hui Mi, Zhou Shengyang, and finally Hao Ming.

Healing Hui Mi was quick and smooth. The fractures in his ankles knitted together with astonishing speed, the bones reconnecting with a faint, almost inaudible crackle, as if nature itself were rushing to do its work, delighted simply to be allowed to take part.

Zhou Shengyang was a little more troublesome. His broken arm and injured knee required considerably more attention, but even then, the green light steadily did its work, wrapping the bones in fine strands of healing energy.

Then she moved on to Hao Ming.

And froze.

The instant the green strand touched his body, it did not spread in a gentle, even flow as it normally would.

Instead, it was violently pulled inward.

It was as if some force Sheng Ming had never encountered before had suddenly seized it.

Life energy poured into him without end, vanishing at an astonishing rate, like water being swallowed by a bottomless well.

"What...?"

She tried to weaken the flow.

It did not work.

She tried to stop it altogether, but Hao Ming's body seemed to draw the energy toward itself of its own accord, devouring it greedily and completely—without resistance, without leaving even the slightest excess, and without ever showing signs of saturation.

Sheng Ming's face paled.

"This..." She struggled to find the right words, staring wide-eyed at his calm, indifferent face. "He's... absorbing everything. This could be dangerous."

Hu Cheng, standing nearby, raised an eyebrow.

"How dangerous?"

"Usually, when I heal someone," Sheng Ming said quickly, her voice becoming increasingly anxious, "their body takes exactly as much energy as it needs for the healing process. The rest simply dissipates. But he absorbs far beyond what he should. I can clearly feel part of the life force being used to repair him... while the other half remains inside his body."

She hesitated.

"And yet... that life force keeps slipping beyond my senses."

She frowned.

"Uncle Hu Cheng... I think he might be a Child of Life."

"A Child of Life?" Hu Cheng tilted his head, clearly intrigued. "But he doesn't have any Spirit Power."

"Children of Life are literally favored by nature itself. They never become sick, and as they mature, they begin to attract Life Spirits and gain the ability to wield the power of life." Sheng Ming frowned as she looked at the motionless Hao Ming with growing confusion. "But he has absolutely no Spirit Power. He can't control life force. He shouldn't even be capable of absorbing it on his own."

"A connection to such pure life... combined with a complete lack of sensitivity to it. How should I put it...?"

She paused, searching for the right comparison.

"It would be like asking a deaf man to listen to music."

Hu Cheng stared at Hao Ming in silence for a while, deep in thought.

"No... Sheng Ming, look more carefully. He's not a Child of Life."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Normally, Life Spirits constantly gather around people like you. Especially around you—there's practically an army of them. But there isn't a single one near him."

Hu Cheng's expression darkened slightly.

"Most likely, Hao Ming is forcibly drawing the life force into himself."

Sheng Ming examined him more closely before slowly nodding.

"But, Uncle Cheng... that makes it even stranger."

Everything before Hao Ming's eyes went dark.

He remembered clearly that Hu Cheng had knocked him unconscious.

In an instant, he found himself surrounded by darkness.

At first, he heard voices.

They came from somewhere far away—muffled and warm, as though they were reaching him through a thick layer of water.

There was nothing threatening in them.

Quite the opposite.

Every voice carried a sense of calm and peace, something Hao Ming had no name for because he had never experienced it before.

"Where am I? Is this another dream?"

A dark expanse stretched out before him.

Gradually, the darkness began to give way to light.

Then the outlines of people and their surroundings slowly emerged.

The clinking of dishes.

Warm laughter.

The smell of freshly cooked food.

And something else he could not name.

The feeling of home.

Hao Ming stopped.

A large dining table stood before him.

Several people were seated around it, and for some reason, Hao Ming immediately understood that they had known one another for a very long time.

More than that.

They were family.

Hao Ming turned his head and recognized two of them.

A girl named Fan Yue.

And a boy named Lan Xuanyu.

On one side of the table sat Lan Xuanyu, a man, and a woman.

The man's name was Lan Xiao.

He was lean, with the face and eyes of a scholar. He looked to be around thirty-five, yet despite his slender build, there was a sense of strength and discipline about him.

Beside him sat his wife, Nan Cheng.

A gentle smile rarely left her face. Her short chestnut-brown hair fell loosely over her shoulders, and there was so much warmth in her eyes that even an ordinary family dinner seemed somehow special with her there.

Hao Ming slowly shifted his gaze to the other side of the table, where Fan Yue and her family were sitting.

"Hehe. Lan Xuanyu, you're quite the sly one. Your wedding is still a long way off, yet you're already having a family dinner together."

The woman who spoke was Lan Yue.

Her voice was soft.

Very soft.

Hao Ming froze.

He could not see her face.

More precisely, he could see it—but he could not remember it.

A thin veil seemed to hang before his eyes.

He could make out long silver hair, tiny points of light shimmering among the strands, as if someone had hidden distant stars within them.

He saw black eyes, deep and silent, reflecting what seemed like an entire night sky.

And on her forehead was the mark of a moon.

But the moment Hao Ming tried to focus on her face, it blurred.

His heart tightened for some reason.

He did not know this woman.

Yet something strange rose within him.

It was neither fear nor unease.

Something else.

Something painfully familiar.

His throat went dry, and Hao Ming could not understand what exactly he was feeling.

He took a step forward.

Then, from nearby, came a bright burst of laughter.

"Hahaha! Sister, you're as red as a tomato!"

Hao Ming turned his gaze toward the man.

He was tall, broad-shouldered, and powerfully built. His skin was slightly tanned, and his features were sharp and masculine. Even sitting at the dinner table, he looked like someone who would be difficult to imagine without a military uniform or a weapon in his hands.

His face, too, was hidden behind that strange veil.

The moment Hao Ming saw him, his heart seemed to stop.

"Pa..."

The word slipped from his lips unconsciously, cut off halfway.

A little girl no more than three years old was sitting in Fan Huobin's arms.

Silver-black hair framed her round little face in soft strands, while her large black eyes sparkled as though they truly contained tiny stars.

She held a small spoon in her hands and looked at Fan Yue with a mischievous smile.

"Sister Xue, you're making your sister embarrassed," Lan Yue said gently.

The little girl looked at her mother and asked:

"Is it because Sister likes Brother Yu?"

"Cough!"

Two people coughed at exactly the same time.

Fan Yue and Lan Xuanyu both lowered their heads, their faces instantly turning bright red. It looked as though another moment and steam might actually start rising from their cheeks.

"Hahahaha!"

Fan Huobin and Lan Xiao burst out laughing simultaneously.

"Dad!"

Fan Yue's face became even redder.

"What?" Fan Huobin asked with an innocent expression. "I didn't say anything."

"But you're laughing!"

"Is laughing forbidden?"

Lan Xiao slapped Lan Xuanyu on the shoulder and laughed even louder.

"Our little Xue is such a clever girl. She knows even more than her sister. She even managed to embarrass Lan Xuanyu."

"Uncle Lan Xiao!"

Lan Xuanyu was red all the way to his ears, clearly having no idea where to look.

Nan Cheng covered her mouth with one hand, trying to hide her smile.

"You really haven't changed at all. You've been dating for two years already, and you still blush in front of us. Considering you've known each other since you were barely ten, you'd think you'd be used to it by now."

Lan Yue smiled and reached out her arms toward her daughter.

"Come here, Xue."

The little girl immediately stretched out her arms.

Lan Yue took her from her husband's arms, settled her onto her lap, and gently ran a hand through her soft hair before stroking her cheek.

"Hehe. Mommy's hands are so warm."

Hao Ming continued standing off to the side.

He watched them.

A happy family.

Fan Yue, already reaching out to pinch Fan Xue's cheek.

Lan Xuanyu, who seemed torn between laughing and hiding his face.

Lan Xiao and Nan Cheng.

Fan Huobin.

Lan Yue.

And the longer Hao Ming watched, the stronger that strange sensation inside him became.

Especially whenever his gaze returned to those last two.

He wanted to see their faces.

He wanted to understand why his heart hurt so much whenever he looked at them.

But he couldn't.

It was as if something was deliberately preventing him from seeing any deeper.

Hao Ming did not even realize when he took a step backward.

"Why do I feel like I know them?"

He slowly retreated until his back touched the wall.

"Why does it feel so warm around them?"

He felt warm.

And at the same time, unbearably sick.

Disgusted.

As though something inside him were trying to tear itself apart.

He wanted to stay.

He wanted to move closer.

And yet, at the same time, he wanted to run.

Anything, just so he would not have to look at them.

"Why... why does it hurt so much... and why do I feel so sick?"

The world suddenly flipped upside down.

Hao Ming's eyes snapped open, and he shot upright on the bed, desperately sucking in air as though he had just surfaced from beneath deep water.

His heart was pounding far too fast.

Gradually, however, it returned to its normal rhythm.

"It doesn't hurt," he muttered, placing a hand over his chest. "But in the dream... it felt like my heart was being crushed into a fist."

His thoughts slowly settled and fell back into place.

In the dream, he had felt too many things at once.

Pain.

Joy.

Warmth.

Disgust.

All of them mixed together without distinction.

Now that he was awake, all of it had vanished without a trace.

Yet there was still a strange, bitter taste lingering on his tongue, as though he had actually tasted something rather than merely dreamed it.

"Strange."

He stared down at his own hands.

"Who were those people...?"

He frowned.

"I've seen the girl before. And the boy, too. But who are Fan Huobin and Lan Yue? Maybe... that wasn't a dream at all."

He rose from the bed and walked outside.

The night air was cool and sharp, a pleasant contrast to the heat still lingering somewhere inside his chest.

Hao Ming stopped in the middle of the courtyard and tilted his head back toward the stars.

For the first time in a very long while, he wanted something with absolute clarity.

In the Rocky Mountains, he had possessed only one desire.

To survive.

But now, something else was rising within him.

Something far more insistent than the simple desire to stay alive.

After some time, footsteps sounded behind him.

They were light, but not stealthy, as though their owner had never intended to hide.

"Can't sleep?"

It was Xiao Yu.

Hao Ming turned around.

Xiao Yu was standing there with a tray in his hands. It held some simple late-night food, still warm judging by the smell.

"Why did you come?" Hao Ming asked instead of answering.

"I just wanted to talk."

Xiao Yu shrugged as he approached and sat down on the ground beside the porch.

"And I figured I'd bring something for your stomach. After that fight, you're probably starving."

He set the tray down beside them.

Hao Ming made no move to touch it.

He did not feel hungry.

If anything, the opposite was true.

It felt as though there was already too much inside him for anything else to fit.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

Unusually, Xiao Yu did not rush to fill the silence with his usual chatter.

He simply sat there, staring into the darkness of the forest, as though waiting for the right moment.

"Listen," he finally said.

There was no trace of his usual casual tone now.

"Can I ask you something serious?"

Hao Ming nodded silently.

"You wanted to kill them."

Xiao Yu spoke bluntly, staring not at Hao Ming but into the darkness ahead.

"Hui Mi and Zhou Shengyang. This morning."

He paused.

"I was watching you carefully. I didn't notice it immediately... but at some point, I clearly saw it in your eyes."

The desire to kill.

Hao Ming did not answer right away.

He stared silently at his own hands.

For a moment, he imagined they were covered in blood again.

"I did."

His answer was direct and honest.

Xiao Yu turned his head slightly and finally looked at him.

There was no fear in his eyes.

Only a desire to understand the person sitting beside him.

"Why?"

The question seemed strange to Hao Ming.

So strange that for a moment, he did not know how to answer it.

"They volunteered to fight me," he said, as though that alone explained everything. "In battle, either you live or you die. There is no other outcome."

"But it was only a spar."

Hao Ming looked at him carefully.

"What difference does that make?"

Xiao Yu blinked, clearly not expecting such a question to be asked in earnest.

"Well..."

He hesitated, searching for the right words.

"In a sparring match, no one is supposed to die. It's training. A test of strength."

Hao Ming thought for a moment.

That definition was simple.

But it could not fit into the worldview and rules he had built for himself.

"When someone attacks me," he said slowly, "there is only one question."

His eyes were calm.

"Will I kill them, or will I die?"

He paused.

"I don't care whether you call it training or something else."

Xiao Yu frowned.

"So you can't... restrain yourself at all?"

"Even when you know it isn't real?"

"I can restrain myself," Hao Ming answered honestly.

"But there was no need to."

His gaze darkened slightly.

"Where I came from, every encounter was either food or death. Everyone had only one objective."

He looked toward the forest.

"Survive."

Xiao Yu remained silent for a long time, watching him in the darkness.

Then, in a low voice, he finally asked:

"Hao Ming... can you tell me about your life?"

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