After Real-Harry took another long glare around the stands, Memory-Harry continued.
"Right!" he said. "That was first year - the 1991-92 school year. Let's move on to the fun and games of second year - 1992-93.
"September and October 1992 was peaceful. I was looking forward to a quiet year. The only downer that year to that point was Dumbledore had seemed to think it was good idea to hire that utter fraud, Gilderoy Lockhart, as our replacement DADA Professor. If any of you dunderheads had read his books, as I did before I'd even started at school that year, and had figured out the timelines he used it should have been as clear to you as it was to me that there is no possible way the man could have accomplished what he said he'd accomplished.
"In three different areas he purported himself to be in two different locations in completely different parts of the world. Secondly, he wrote he'd even vanquished a werewolf simply by punching it on the nose, a zombie by sprinkling salt on it, and other completely laughable supposed feats!
"That the man wasn't, even by then, already discovered to be a complete fraud just goes to show how collectively stupid wizards and witches truly are!" he then sighed.
"But, I digress! Everything was going as I expected it to when - wouldn't you know it? - it was Hallowe'en again.
"Stupidly, I found myself being dragged down to a room in the dungeons to attend the 500th Deathday party of the Gryffindor house ghost, Sir Nicholas 'Nearly Headless Nick' de Mimsy-Porpington, instead of attending the start of the Feast. It was after we'd left the party and were making our way back to the Gryffindor Tower we came across what happened right outside the same bathroom Hermione was crying in exactly a year earlier, when she nearly got herself squished by a troll's club.
"The floor was covered in water, Caretaker Filch's cat, Mrs Norris, was hanging from a wall sconce by her tail - we thought she was dead and there was writing on the wall directly below her. It said, 'Enemies of the heir, beware'
"Moments after we arrived there, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students came up from the Feast and were making their own ways back to their dorms.
"Malfoy, the MisSorted Gryffindor who wears green trim, was with them for whatever reason - seeing as his common room is supposed to be in the dungeons and there's no real reason he should have been on the second floor - and cackled out about how mudbloods would be next. Always opening his mouth before he engages his brain, that boy. Then relies on his godfather, Severus Snape, to pull his nads out of the fire for him."
Surreptitiously looking over the top edge of his book, Harry could see quite a few were snickering at the clearly now angry blonde ponce.
"Of course, Caretaker Filch showed he lacks logic as much as a proper wizard or witch by immediately accusing me of killing his cat.
"But, as Ron, Hermione and I were first on the scene, for most people, that meant we were guilty of whatever happened. And Dumbledore dragged us three, the Mrs Norris catcicle, Filch, Minerva McGonagall and Fraud Lockhart off to Lockhart's classroom and office to investigate matters further. Of course, Severus Snape also managed to invite himself along, as he usually does.
"The way Snape always seems to be hovering around Dumbledore, inviting himself or being invited into meetings he has no right to be involved in, I've come to think of him as Dumbledore's shadow brought to life. Either that, or he secretly lusts after the man and follows him around like a love-sick puppy. But, maybe that lust is actually the other way round," and shrugged.
"Anyways, after poking and prodding the Mrs Norris catsicle for a while and Lockhart rambled on with his nonsense, Dumbledore eventually declared she wasn't dead, only petrified.
"However, what we have come of that was the whole school now have it in the back of their minds I was responsible for the attack.
"A week later, Colin Creevey was the next to be petrified. Watch what happened, that night, in the Infirmary."
"I also remind you, for those who were there, that was the day I had the bones in my arm vanished by 'Fraudhart'. So, for the entire duration of that day, from shortly after lunch until the next morning, I was under the direct supervision of Madam Pomfrey in the Infirmary. So, there's no possible way I could have been the one who attacked the boy."
The memory started with Harry lying awake in his bed. Dumbledore backs into the room wearing his nightclothes. McGonagall was facing him, also walking in. Between them they had a petrified Colin Creevey. And, once they'd dumped the boy on a bed and he'd opened Creevey's camera, Dumbledore confirmed the Chamber of Secrets had been opened.
Memory-Harry returned. "Did you all catch how Dumbledore, after he'd opened Creevey's camera and saw the insides were all melted, said it meant the Chamber of Secrets had been opened? Why would he say that? That he did meant he knew what the monster was in the Chamber. He had to have! Otherwise, the melted insides of the camera wouldn't have meant anything to him.
"Oh, and just so you know, a basilisk is the only creature that could do that to the camera. Yet further proof Dumbledore knew the monster was a basilisk.
"Which then brings us to Lockhart's aborted Duelling Club. The first and only meeting of that club. The one where it became known, even to me, that I'm a parselmouth.
"Watch what happened."
The next memory showed the duel between Harry and Malfoy, with the ponce using Serpensortia to conjure a snake - a Black Mamba - one of the most deadliest snakes known to man; Lockhart's stupidity in enraging it; its moving to attack Justin Finch-Fletchley; Harry unknowingly using parseltongue to stop it and everyone's reaction to it. "Now, here we see a simple example of the stupidity of wizards and witches," explained Memory-Harry. "Wizard logic: Harry Potter is shown to be a parselmouth, everyone knows that Voldemort was a parselmouth, Voldemort was evil, therefore Harry Potter must be evil. It completely ignores the fact that Merlin was a parselmouth, so was Paracelsus, and parselmouths are revered in other parts of the world because parseltongue magic is proven to be best suited to healing magic - think Paracelsus and his works.
"Using that same logic we must accept that Minerva McGonagall's animagus form is a dog. Using the same Wizard logic: Minerva McGonagall's animagus form has four legs and a tail, everyone knows dogs have four legs and a tail, therefore Minerva McGonagall's animagus form is a dog. Stupidity, dressed as common sense, is still stupidity!
"For those who do not know what I told that very venomous Black Mamba, I told it to stop and not attack. That's why it backed off! What was I playing at, Finch-Fletchley? I was saving your naffing life, you moron!
"That then led to almost the whole school turning against me. I was being bullied left, right and centre.