If I would actually get the opportunity to become a singer in South Korea... Chances are I won't take it. Packed schedules, dietary restrictions, dating ban rule and overall, it is quite a restrictive industry. You're only getting good sleep during off-season and honestly, keeping up with this lifestyle isn't for the weak. Hamin had a wake-up call at 4am for a show that starts at freaking 9am.
The blonde male slightly groans to the bizarre alarm Jimin sets up for him. He's a deep sleeper and this alarm that, not gonna lie the closest resemblance to it would be the emergency disaster alarm was the only one that could effectively wake him up. He wasn't a deep sleeper to begin with. However, after the break up and hiatus, sleep was a form of void he could dissappear into. He would sleep for days and hibernated for a week without waking up. Jimin, who thought he was dying off alcoholism, had to call an ambulance. That was how his habit of deep sleeping started.
He slammed the button on the alarm and sat up. Hamin was not wearing any clothes, just, his, you know, undergarment. One would pay millions to wake up to that view, one would be me but I'm too broke so yeah I could only dream for now.
He did some upper body stretching and get himself ready to head to the gym, room. Yes he has a gym in his house, he used to go to a private gym but a sasaeng found him and the location got leaked. So everything has to be in his big apartment. Which Hamin wasn't used to at first. It felt lonely, restrictive and stuffy. As someone who was able to walk out without paparazzi to someone that needs to prioritize safety... It was definitely uncomfortable for him at first.
It took him about 30 minutes to finish his workout and it definitely woke him up now. It wasn't an intense work out but definitely was mumch needed to kickstart his packed schedule today. "Phew.." He breathed out and walks out of the gym room and took a quick shower. When he left his bathroom, he caught a glimpse of the room right at the end of the hallway.
The wall clock ticking sound got his attention, he does have a little bit of time to not miss this part of his day. Hamin rushes down to his kitchen with only a towel hanging around his waist, grabbed his protein bottle and hurried up to his second floor. He opens the door to the room at the end of the hallway. The steel door that could only be open with a passcode.
As he enters, he was greeted by a sculpture right in the middle of the ginormous room, bigger than the master room. The room wasn't dark when he entered. The dimmed lights were motion sensored and all the sculptures were stored in a wooden open closet with glass transparent doors. Mood lights were placed at the bottom and top of the cupboard. Only the full body tall sculpture was the standalone one in the middle of the room. No light, not even in a glass box, it was just bare, isolating in the middle of the room.
You see, it wasn't even his hobby to collect art pieces, it was Si Woo's. The first place they moved to seven years ago, Si Woo had decorated every room with art pieces he bought from Matthew Rainer and other renowned artist he was interested in. Memorabilia's sake, Hamin brought it with him and dedicated a room to the art pieces.
Some were bought in auctions under a pseudoym, the rest were purchased by Si Woo back then but we aren't going in depth about those. Hamin walks around, shirtless and with only long pants on, gulped down his protein shake and analyze his museum level art collection he possess in his home.
He leaned his back on a standing table he placed strategically Infront of a certain piece and stared at it. He isolated this one from the rest as he had placed it right at the end of the room. Hidden, but still on sight. It was a piece he had commissioned from one of Si Woo's favourite artists.
The oil painting depicts a man in the middle of an exhibition, admiring an art piece that had a singular brush stroke right in the middle of a blank canvas. The man in the picture was Si Woo, it was the first time they went to an exhibition together for a club project and it was the day Hamin was actually fell in love with Si Woo at first sight. He took a picture of Si Woo without the other male knowing. Si Woo never knew the existent of this painting because when they broke up, the artist was still working on it. It's a 55 inch art piece, wooden frame, oil painting and if you know a thing or two about oil painting, you would know it takes such a long time for it to dry.
In silence, Hamin was just staring at it, admiring the piece for what seems to be about 10 minutes. The man standing at the end of the room stood there, eyes solemn and face expressionless. Reminiscing the time they were both naive and was just learning a thing or two about the hardship of adulting. No other thoughts, nothing. Missing his ex, definitely, but he couldn't admit to himself how hot he found Si Woo last week. Unbeknownst to him, he didnt hear his doorbell ring until his manager called him. It wasn't Jimin this time, it was the road manager Seungchan this time. He picked it up, looks down at his watch and said, "I'm coming.", then left the room in a hurry.
There's no denying that he still misses Si Woo. However, he hates him just as much.
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"So Go Hamin-ssi. Are you single?" Taken aback by the host, Hamin took a glanced at the PD and the manager before answering her question. His manager gestured that it's okay to answer by giving him a thumbs up sign. Not like many others, this talk show allows idols, actors and singers to be their truest self and answer unhinged questions left by their viewers. Who were entertained by the industry's truthfulness. "My apologies, was the question too direct?" Hamin shook his head and smiled slightly.
Hamin took a deep breathe before answer. "How would I be able to say this... Hmm. You see, early in my career I was facing trials and retributions, from personal to industrial. I was new, I was naive, and thought I could actually juggle it both at the same time. I didn't mean harm and definitely wasn't trying to hurt anybody. Now that I've said that, when it comes to dating... When you mentioned that.... at the top of my head I could imagine the comment section deciding my life for me. Dictating it for me and after going through a tough time that was covered by the media, because, you know when. I'm immune to it by now, but please treat idols as humans just like you are. Can't expect them to sing love songs to you without them experiencing love in the first place, right?" He looked at the camera and smile sheepishly. Scrunching his nose and giving the camera a teasing smirk.
"Ouch! Not you giving them the truth. I'm sure the comment section will be filled with disagrees but you know the million subscribers we have will defend you Go Hamin-ssi." The female hosts encourages and it emboldens Hamin to actually just answer the question.
"Thank you for that. I don't have anything else to say other than yes, I'm single. I'm thankful to my fans for accepting me for who I am and supporting me throughout my acting career." He said and drank the coffee that was given on the table. It's refreshing, to have this type of platform where it allows artists to actually express their feelings and promote them at the same time. Many people prefer transparency nowadays and this talk show was reccommended by many artist among their circle for being the most real out of all. It allows the idols to be comfortable and some even invited themselves to the show, even with nothing to promote.
The host looks down at her placard and presented another question. "You have always been strong and many idols in this industry admired you. While I'm glad that we can see you for 16 episodes in a drama... Any possibilities you'll ever release a song or album again?"
Hamin laughs and covered his mouth, it reminded him of what happened back then and realised the fear, even when he jokes about it lightly, was still there. He has no muse to sing about, no experience, and there's just no motivation to get back to that self he buried so deep. Yes the last song he released did good, and was able to fund his life during his two year hiatus, but he still hasn't moved on from what happen back then.
"Let's see..." He crossed his legs and looks at the ceiling, leaning back at his chair and actually pondered when and would he even do it.
"Who knows? I don't know too. If an opportunity comes up I definitely would!" He answers cheerfully. The talk show went on for about another 20 minutes as scheduled and the shooting ended. This was fun. Hamin thought. The entire crew thanked Hamin for his appearance and the interview was a successful one. They exchanged gratitude and the PD approached Hamin, "Hey, I know it's been quite a while since youre back but I just wanna say youre doing great right now. Even after you changed career and started acting just know our crew and members supports you."
The PD used to work as an intern in the daily music show and was actually present in the break room when he was having his panic attack five years ago. He was present since Hamin debuted as a solo singer and they basically saw each other grew. Hamin smiled genuinely and pulled the PD in a brotherly hug. "Thank you." he expresses. He knows how vast the industry is and meeting genuine people isnt easy. Like finding needle in a haystack.
"Continue what youre doing now Taehwan. The concept of the interview was refreshing and I had fun." Hamin turns around and bows at the production crew, staff and shook hands with the PD. He excuses himself and went out to take a breather and smoke on the rooftop. As he walks out, he caught the attention of many with his appearance.
Hamin had his blonde hair slicked back, his undercut looking clean as ever since they stopped by the stylist before he went over to the production building. He was wearing glasses today despite doing lasik surgery two years ago, donned with a brown cashmere sweater, black denim outer wear and black straight cut pants. He looks like that hot senior you saw once and never again, but he lingers in your mind for months on end.
He was just looking down on his phone, scrolling through his social media, his current obsession is watching this virtual group glitching due to technical issues and for some reason it always enlightens him. Though, how would one ignore this dude he's literally a handsome totem pole like... You would notice him even when he's not all donned up like today.
Nevertheless, he's used to the attention, he just don't feel like having small talk today. The elevator opens and the cold wind gushes over, he waltz out and sees a few familiar faces. He greeted but walked over to the other side where its less packed, because, he's just not in the mood for small talks. He took the cigarette pack from his back pocket and lights it up.
As he puffs out while gazing at the sky, he got reminded of what a certain someone said about smoking.
Eight years ago...They were at the smoking area behind the university, at the point, 21-years old Hamin was just watching his crush smoking his cigarette during their break time. "Actually how does it feel like?" Si Woo was leaned his body on the railing and looks to the left, Hamin was standing patiently, looking at him while adjusting his thick framed glasses. "Wanna try?" Si Woo smirked and shook his head aggressively. "I know... Don't ever smoke. I won't allow that."
"Hyung, if you can why can't I? It looks cool."
"Because I'm older! Haha... I'm kidding. How do I say this? Smoking is like you're sighing as you puff it out. Yeah, sigh!Just with added coolness and nicotine."
He smiled at the memory and took a puff. It was definitely before they started dating, when Hamin realised he had a fat crush on the kid everyone has a crush on too. He tested the theory and took a puff before blowing it out. "He was right.. It is kind of like a sigh."
"What is?"
"Smoking... Wait what?"Hamin jumped at the voice and turned around. It was Si Woo holding a briefcase, sitting on the bench that Hamin didn't even notice was there. Hamin scans the rooftop and sees nobody was there other than them. How long was he there, was what Hamin wondered. "I've heard that somewhere, was I the one that said that?"
Hamin scoffs, "Get off your high horse, I saw it in the internet." Hamin didn't want to admit how happy he was that Si Woo appeared Infront of him, but he contained his expression. Si Woo leaned back on the bench and laughs, "Whatever you say."
He knows he was the one that said that and acknowledge Hamin's denial. Hamin was stunned, when was the last time that he saw SI Woo smiling again? He had a beautiful smile. He always do. His warm expression, the way you can see some wrinkles under the eyes, the dimple on the right side of his face and his entire face basically lits up. Hamin blushes, his ears feel hot and his cheeks feels warm despite the cold weather.
He didn't know what got over him, but Hamin definitely wasn't thinking when he asked his ex...
"Hey... Wanna come to my place?"
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