A panting Haruto burst into the clearing.
"Oh yummy, back for more?" Anko teased as she sauntered over with swaying hips.
"You have the list?" the blond asked with as much severity as the face of a twelve-year-old could muster. If he had grown up with a mother figure, he was sure she would have warned him to avoid playing with psycho girls like the one before him. Haruto almost pouted as he watched the older woman resist the urge to laugh.
"Seriously, a kid like you?" Disbelief was written all over the female proctor's face.
"You have it or not?" Haruto asked again with a trace of annoyance. Anko gave him a colder smile as she flashed the document before him, keeping it just out of his reach.
"Why should I give you this? You screw this up and Konoha will pay the price. I don't care who made the decision or if Ibiki supported this operation, but give me one good reason why I should help."
What the!? Of all the unexpected surprises that could occur, insubordination definitely topped the list of things Haruto did not want. Frustrating and infuriating as the kunoichi was, he resisted the urge to pull rank, recognizing how disastrous and revealing such an act would be. Plus, it would not have gone over well with someone like Anko.
"So, that's how it's going to be?" Haruto asked, his eyes hard.
"That's how it's going to be," Anko answered in a more cheerful tone.
The two Konoha nin erupted in a flurry of movements and hand seals. Seconds later, Haruto grimaced at being forced into the ground hard. A pair of snappish snakes swirled above him, pinning his hands.
"Get back to your team. I'll tell Ibiki that a mistake was made." Gone was Anko's cheerful smile, replaced by a calm mask as cold and hard as steel. She pulled her summons back and moved to leave, all the while muttering about how brain dead others must have been to even think about using an incompetent buffoon like the kid on the ground.
"Hey, freaky exam lady! You aren't leaving with that list!"
"Oh, and how are you going to stop me, short stuff?" Anko turned and asked.
"I already did. Check your equipment pouch." Anko was tempted to ignore the rambunctious kid, but something about his cocky smile made her hesitate. The special jounin instinctively dipped her hand into her equipment pouch. Her face took on a look of complete bewilderment when she withdrew an unfamiliar yellow paper. It was an explosive tag, a remote detonable explosive tag, to be exact. Her spiky head spun towards the blond with serpent-like quickness.
"I wanted to thank you for the kiss so I left a present for you back there," Haruto called out cheekily. The genin only had time to widen his eyes in surprise before a flying kunai, courtesy of one pissed off snake kunoichi, slammed into his forehead protector. Anko watched as the Haruto clone poofed out of existence. Now, it was her turn to be shocked. The older ninja certainly did not expect to be so masterfully conned by a genin of such mediocre standing.
"Can I have that list, please? I don't want to fail the mission Genji gave me," a second Haruto remarked as he popped up in front of the dazed kunoichi. A naughty, childish and vengeful part of her was tempted to say no and to continue to obstruct, but Anko ultimately was a good sport and gave Haruto the required information.
"You're a clone as well, aren't you?" the kunoichi asked suspiciously. The blond smiled back in an annoying, but also cute, fashion.
"Damn kid, you really are something," Anko muttered. Well, color her impressed. In all her years of shinobi service, the special jounin had never seen anything quite like it. The Haruto clone took it as a compliment and grinned even further.
"Since it looks like you'll have no problem surviving, I guess I better drop by to see you after the exam, huh?" A trace of sadism entered the purple-haired female's eyes. At the same time, it would not do for the kid to get too big of a head, now would it?
"Whatever," the clone muttered before taking off.
Mitarashi Anko, the controversial protégée of Orochimaru of the Konoha no Sannin, watched with great interest as the intrepid blond disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.
Success. Despite all his practice, Haruto found it hard to hide his shit-eating grin from his teammates. The sexed up female examiner had walked right into the trap he had laid. Of course, the blond prodigy had been quite confident of victory the second she had underestimated him.
Served her right! Who's she to call me short stuff? Haruto thought.
"Haruto, you ok? You spaced out for a minute there," Chouji commented. "And one of your clones said there might be a team tailing us."
"Really? How far out?"
"About a thousand paces. We tried to shake them, but they're maintaining a steady position behind us," the clone answered.
"Trackers, probably," Shikamaru guessed.
"Must be Team 8," Chouji added.
"Hey, guys! Want to play a trick?" Haruto grinned with a diabolic smile, bouncing on the balls of his heels.
"What did you have in mind?" Chouji asked uncertainly.
"Well, since Kiba's on that team, all we have to do is…"
"Gotcha!" Kiba's cried victoriously as he stood, kunai positioned against the back of a certain blond's neck.
"Ahm, Kiba-san…"
"It's ok, Hinata. I'm just playing. So, who's awesome?" From the extravagant manner of the dog boy, one would assume he had already made chuunin, which ironically made sense. If the Inuzuka boy was able to sneak up on a ninja of Haruto's caliber, then surely he deserved to be promoted.
"Definitely not you, dog breath," an amused voice called out from above. "You just walked into an ambush."
"Huh?" Kiba turned, or rather tried to, but found himself unable to move.
"Nice job, Shikamaru," Haruto nodded towards the shadow user as he jumped down. "Yeah, yeah, I know we're troublesome," the blond cheerfully admitted, preempting his teammate's catchall phrase.
The Nara boy rolled his eyes, but released his hold on the genin of Team 8.
"Dammit, I thought I had you for sure!" Kiba stomped, pocketing his weapon as he saw his original target dissipate in a cloud of smoke.
"Shino, why didn't you say anything? Couldn't your bugs tell it was a clone?" The dog boy accused with just a touch of anger. Like all members of the proud Inuzuka clan, Kiba did not like being shown up, especially in such a spectacular and almost comical fashion.
"Of course, but you never asked."
"And because Shino's awesome like that!" the blond added ever so helpfully. In other words, Haruto had convinced the bug user to preemptively side with him if his teammate tried to be fresh.
"That too," Shino agreed with what looked like a half hidden smirk. What with those sunglasses and high coat zipper, it was impossible to tell. Hinata, meanwhile, was… well, just being normal Hinata. Kiba kicked a rock under his feet petulantly and mumbled about traitorous teammates. Despite his bruised ego, the Inuzuka youngling was thankful that the blond was on their side.
For his part, Haruto sincerely hoped that Kiba took his defeat at least somewhat seriously. For all their dedication and hard work, Team 8 seemed a bit shaky for a tracking unit that was geared towards stealth and espionage. The blond was, of course, recalling the incident with the assassins of the Lightning diplomat, in which Team 8 had been hoodwinked into exposing themselves. True, the genin had been out of their league in terms of firepower, but that was not exactly an acceptable excuse. As trackers, they most certainly could be expected to spy on enemies far stronger than themselves. In such scenarios, their survival would directly depend on their ability to remain hidden. Haruto's assessment might have been a wee bit harsh, but it wasn't unwarranted considering the dangers ahead.
"Before this becomes even more troublesome, I think we better get going. Hinata-san, Shino-san," Shikamaru greeted. The two cooler heads of Team 8 quickly agreed.
"Wait, where's Team 7?" The six genin stared at each other for a minute in awkward silence.
"Did you forget to tell Ino?" Chouji asked.
"I told her, but I'm not sure if she listened to me. You know how troublesome she is." The Akimichi nodded knowingly.
"My bugs cannot sense them anywhere nearby. I suspect they went ahead." There was another moment of silence.
Just as Haruto had feared, Team 7 had decided to be the odd duck and strike out on their own. The blond had a pretty good idea why that was the case.
Damn Sasuke, damn that Uchiha pride of his, and damn those girls, who couldn't grow a backbone to save themselves! Haruto thought with genuine frustration. The fools had absolutely no idea what they were getting themselves into. What was more, going off to find them was going to cut into the time he had to complete his mission.
"What are we waiting for then? Let's go!" Haruto finally declared before marching off. The other five Konoha genin fell in line without another word.
Some hours and one battle later, the group finally decided to camp for the night. Exhausted after the long day, most of the genin of Teams 8 and 10 went to sleep right after dinner.
"Hey, Shikamaru, still up? Are you taking first watch?"
"Yeah. I'm just thinking." The Nara boy cast his teammate a calculating gaze. He had been doing that a lot lately, but Haruto was not too concerned. His friend might have an IQ of over two hundred, but raw intellect could only go so far when one did not possess the necessary information.
"Oi, Shika, thanks for covering me during that last battle," Haruto noted to which Shikamaru nodded silently. The blond was never in any major trouble and simply wished to observe how well his peers fought. In general, Teams 8 and 10 performed very well and used their numerical advantage and bloodline limits to good effect. Shikamaru's efforts, in particular, were outstanding and helped them secure their second Heaven Scroll. Haruto now felt more confident about the ragtag group's chances should he be absent.
"Why did you take their things?" Shikamaru asked with interest.
"Ahm, as souvenirs and because I was short on kunai," Haruto answered. The Nara boy nodded, but Haruto knew that he knew that he was hiding something. The blond ANBU, in fact, needed the defeated team's equipment to set up the next ambush.
"Do you sense something?" Shikamaru asked. Haruto frowned.
"Now that you mention it…" For such a lazy person, Shikamaru moved pretty fast, at least that was what Haruto thought, as a shadow suddenly jumped out of the trees.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't short stuff. Glad to see that you're still alive and kicking. Would be a shame had you died before I had a chance to test you out." For a moment, Haruto stared with stunned silence as the speaker dropped right to his level and ruffled his hair.
"Freaky exam lady, what are you doing here?"
"Looking for a late night quickie. What else?" Beside them, Shikamaru groaned. This was going to be trouble and somehow he just knew he was not going to get away unscathed.
"Or maybe a threesome. I haven't had one of those in a while." Haruto spluttered with indignation while Shikamaru simply sighed. He just hated it when he was right.
"Can we help you, Anko-san? I find it hard to believe you were simply taking a stroll through the forest." The Nara boy studiously avoided looking at the older woman's nearly exposed bust. He might look dead tired at times, but he sure as hell was not completely dead.
"Fine." Anko's mouth curled into a smile. "I'm here to pass along a warning. We detected an unauthorized entry into the forest earlier and we suspect the person to be around this region of the forest. I'm needed for a search patrol, so I need to draft one of you brats to be the messenger. So who's it going to be?"
"I'd better go," Haruto volunteered. When Shikamaru tossed him a skeptical look, the blond answered why. "We both know I'm a better runner and can cover more area with my clones."
"Perhaps, but traveling through the forest alone? What about the exam? We can't advance with just two members." Shikamaru looked questioningly at Haruto and then at the female proctor.
"I just need the brat for a quickie. He'll be back in no time, provided he survives." The special jounin pouted slightly when she noticed that her teasing was no longer having an effect.
"I'll be fine. Trust me, ok? Just cover for me and take care of the others until I get back." Haruto reassured in what he hoped was his best charismatic persona. Shikamaru sighed but eventually capitulated as he nodded in agreement. Anko, meanwhile, arched an eyebrow at the display.
"Alright, freaky exam lady, where to?"