31 October 1991
As the Slytherin First Years got ready for the day, Harry laid in his bed, deep in thought. Today was Halloween in the Muggle world. He supposed it was in the wizarding world too, but it was also Victory Day, the day Jim Potter vanquished You-Know-Who. Tonight's feast would likely be particularly impressive, since it was the Git's first year at Hogwarts. The "carrot" had apparently worked. Jim had not suffered any serious point losses since joining the Quidditch team and appeared to have buckled down on his studies. "Appeared" being the operative word, of course. Now that he knew that tantrums would get him nowhere, Jim had become a bit more, well, Slytherin in his approach. He'd ingratiated himself with the Weasley Terrors (as the Slytherins dubbed the Twins), and good friends that they were, they'd taken to pranking the Snakes, and Harry in particular, with a vengeance. Particularly notable was the morning Harry spent forced to walk backwards everywhere, not to mention the two days that the entire First Year Slytherin class had been compelled to refer to each other as "Junior Death Eater" every time they spoke to one another. The twins rarely pranked Neville and Hermione out of house loyalty, but there was something of a cold war amongst the Gryffindor firsties, with Neville and the girls on one side and the rest of the boys on the other. Dean had even stopped coming to the study sessions.
Exacerbating things was the fact that Neville was still making no progress in his own wand work, yet he refused to consult with his grandmother about the issue of his wand. He hadn't quit the study group, but he now barely even tried in Charms and Transfiguration. Naturally, this had resulted in him losing some points for lack of effort and, eventually, a Howler from his grandmother during lunch the previous week.
All of which suddenly made Harry's position in his own house a bit more precarious. He was doing well academically and still held the advantages of being the Potter Heir (though his solicitor advised that James Potter was still looking for grounds to disinherit him). But his reputation was no longer "mysterious eccentric loner" but rather "loser on the outs with his family whose only friends were other losers." Largely as a consequence, Daphne and Tracie had rather coolly advised him that they were back on a last name basis. So it was a somewhat downbeat Harry Potter who walked with his dorm mates to breakfast. Up ahead in front of the Great Hall, he noticed the Weasley Twins waiting and watching. Then, to his right, he heard a soft hiss from the tapestry depicting St. Patrick purging the snakes out of Ireland. Harry stopped... and then took a running jump to clear the group of floor tiles that the snake had warned were hexed.
"Potter, do stop acting like a Muggle fool," drawled Draco from just behind him. Then, there was a crackle of magic followed by cries of dismay. Harry turned around. Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson all now had hair the color of Gryffindor red with golden eyebrows to match.
"The Weasley Terrors," Harry said in a bored voice. "And fairly obvious this time. Do at least try to be aware of your surroundings, Malfoy. Now, I suggest you go to the infirmary before whatever that stuff is soaks in. That or you can look like lost Weasley cousins the rest of the week." Draco snarled at Harry, and then he, his two bookends, and his ... whatever Pansy was stormed off to the infirmary. Daphne Greengrass sidled up to Harry and looked at him with curiosity.
"How did you know the Weasleys had put a trap there," she asked.
Harry shrugged and then lied. "Just something we losers figured out in our loser study group. I'm sure someone as clever as you would have figured out on your own. If not, you'd look lovely with bright red hair." She huffed and headed on to breakfast. Harry then turned and walked boldly in the Twins' direction, hoping that Egbert's memory and eye for detail were as good as he claimed (Egbert being the snake hanging from the tree in the background of a painting on the third floor who claimed to have overheard observed the Twins and picked up some juicy gossip from it). "Gentlemen, a moment of your time?"
The Twins, who had been both amazed and annoyed at how casually he'd evaded their prank, straightened up.
"Oh? And what might us two..." "Innocent little Gryffies ..." "Want to say to..." "A mean little snake like you."
Harry sighed. Part of him wondered if he and Jim would have the same back and forth patter down if they'd lived together. Another part of him was suddenly grateful to the Dursleys for preventing just that outcome. "Well, I'd like to try diplomacy for a start. Have I, in fact, done anything to anger you two or to deserve the somewhat aggressive level of pranking I've had to put up with for the last month? Because if so, I apologize and I'm happy to make amends. If not, of course, I'll have to assume the worst – that you two have simply agreed to become Jim's attack dogs and come after me for no reason but his pettiness."
"Gryffindors stick together, little snakey Potter," said one of them with surprising coldness. So it had been Jim. Harry guessed that meant it was time for "the stick."
"Well, Slytherin's don't. So you can go after my house-mates to your hearts' content, but leave me out of it. Because ... well, I do apologize for making threats, it's really not my style ... but so help me, if one more hex or jinx or prank hits me and I think you to are responsible," he hesitated for emphasis as the Twins looked at him smugly, "I'll tell Snape about The Map."
Thatgot their attention. And while the Twins were pretty good at acting innocent, they were not prepared for a First Year Slytherin threatening their most treasured secret. After a few seconds of eye-goggling, one of them ("The one with the tiny mole next to his left eye," Harry noted for future reference) finally said nervously, "W-What Map?"
"Oh, do you have more than one? The one I'm talking about is activated by ... oh what were the words? Something like 'I swear I'm up to no good.' No!
'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good.' That's how it goes, right?"
The Twins were even more shocked at that, and inwardly, Harry was singing Egbert's praises for his perception and memory. "Look, guys. I don't want to be your enemy. To be honest, I'm a fan of your work ... well, when it's not directed at me and when you don't cross the line from 'playful amusement' to 'cruel bullying.'" They actually looked a bit hurt at that, so Harry decided to offer the carrot as well. "In fact, I think if you had a bit of ... financial support, you could take your work to the next level."
Their eyebrows shot up and that, and the one without a mole asked, "Are you offering us a bribe to not prank you?"