Ethan woke up convinced he had died again.
This was mostly because the inn's ceiling was unfamiliar, his neck hurt, and something was snoring with malicious intent three feet away.
He sat up.
The snoring stopped.
"So," a voice said cheerfully, inside his head, "you glow in your sleep too."
Ethan screamed.
He rolled off the bench, tangled himself in his blanket, and came up facing a very tall, very smug elf.
Except—
Not an elf.
The ears were slightly pointed, sure—but not elegant. More like someone had gently tugged them and then given up. The hair was long, pale blond, tied back with deliberate care. He wore green and brown leathers, a cloak with leaf-pattern stitching, and boots that had never seen a forest in their life.
He was also very obviously human.
"…You're not allowed to just be there," Ethan said, clutching his blanket like a shield.
The man blinked.
Then smiled wider.
"Oh good," he said aloud. "The sync works."
[ SYSTEM SYNC ESTABLISHED ]
[ NEARBY USER DETECTED ]
[ SHARED COMMENTARY ENABLED ]
Ethan froze.
"…Why did that sound like you?"
The man tapped the side of his head. "Because it was."
[ USER: KAEL ]
[ STATUS: OVERDRESSED ]
[ NOTE: HE CAN HEAR THIS ]
"HEY," Kael said indignantly. "That's rude."
[ YOU DRESSED LIKE A LEAF BROCHURE ]
Ethan stared back and forth between Kael and the invisible space where the System text hovered.
"Oh no," he whispered. "It's worse now."
Kael laughed. "You get used to it. Or you don't. Either way, it never shuts up."
[ CONFIRMED ]
The innkeeper appeared from behind the counter, already annoyed.
"Kael," he said. "If you woke the healer again, I'm charging you double."
Kael raised both hands. "In my defense, the System announced him glowing like a lantern."
[ DEFENSIVE GLOW REGISTERED ]
[ USER ETHAN: UNCONSCIOUS AURA LEAK ]
"I WAS ASLEEP," Ethan protested.
The innkeeper pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sit. Both of you. And don't activate anything."
Kael dropped onto the bench beside Ethan.
"So," he said cheerfully, and privately, "what flavor are you?"
[ PRIVATE SYSTEM CHANNEL OPEN ]
"…Flavor?"
"Role."
"Healer."
Kael stopped smiling.
Slowly turned.
"…Only healer?"
"Yes."
[ MOMENT OF SILENCE OBSERVED ]
[ THIS IS AWKWARD ]
"That's brutal," Kael said sincerely.
[ AGREEMENT: UNANIMOUS ]
"What are you?" Ethan asked.
Kael puffed up slightly. "Ranger."
The innkeeper snorted from across the room.
Kael glared. "I am."
"You missed a rabbit at ten paces yesterday," the innkeeper said.
"That rabbit was evasive."
"It was asleep."
[ SKILL VALIDATION FAILED ]
Ethan blinked. "You're… a ranger?"
"Yes."
"With… skills?"
Kael hesitated.
"…Define skills."
[ SKILL SCAN INITIATED ]
[ RESULT: STYLE WITHOUT SUBSTANCE ]
Kael leaned closer, whispering. "Okay. I have tracking. Technically."
"Technically?"
"I can tell when footprints are old."
"That's just dirt."
"I'm also excellent at posing."
He struck a dramatic stance.
[ POSE QUALITY: IMPECCABLE ]
[ COMBAT UTILITY: ZERO ]
The innkeeper threw a rag at him.
Later, Ethan followed Kael into the market.
"Why are you dressed like that?" Ethan asked again.
Kael gestured to himself. "People trust elves. They expect wisdom. Grace. Lethal competence."
"And you?"
"I provide vibes."
[ VIBES CONFIRMED ]
[ THREAT LEVEL: MINIMAL ]
They stopped near the archery range at the edge of town.
A few locals watched.
Kael handed Ethan a bow.
"Try."
"I'm a healer."
"Exactly. Low expectations."
Ethan fired.
The arrow bounced off the target and landed behind them.
A child clapped.
[ DISTRACTION SUCCESSFUL ]
Kael nodded solemnly. "Excellent distraction shot."
"Your turn," Ethan said.
Kael loosed an arrow.
It hit the outer ring.
Kael gasped. "Did you see that?"
"…Yes?"
"I'm improving."
[ SKILL PROGRESSION: THEORETICAL ]
A merchant approached.
"You two System?"
Ethan flinched.
Kael smiled. "Yes. But the harmless kind."
The merchant eyed Ethan's hands. "Healer?"
"Yes."
"…Can you fix my cart axle?"
[ MORAL DILEMMA SHARED ]
Ethan hesitated. "I— I don't know if I should."
Kael leaned in. "Do it. Quietly. We get lunch."
Ethan healed the axle.
It fixed itself with a soft creak.
The merchant stared.
"…I hate that," he muttered. Then tossed them coin anyway.
[ TRANSACTION COMPLETE ]
[ PAYMENT RECEIVED: FOOD SOON ]
They ate lunch on the steps of the archery shed.
"So," Ethan said. "Why are you here?"
Kael leaned back. "Got summoned. Got ranger. Realized the world expected me to be Legolas."
"…You're not."
"I am emotionally Legolas."
[ EMOTIONAL CLASSIFICATION: ACCURATE ]
Kael glanced at Ethan. "You're different."
"How?"
"You don't try to be impressive."
Ethan shrugged. "I'm just trying to survive."
[ SURVIVAL PRIORITY: VALID ]
The sun dipped lower.
Something crashed nearby.
Both Systems flared at once.
[ SHARED ALERT ]
[ SOMETHING BROKE ]
[ PROBABILITY IT IS YOUR FAULT: LOW ]
[ BUT NOT ZERO ]
"…That wasn't me," Ethan said quickly.
Kael stood, hand on his bow. "If it's dangerous, we run."
"And if we can't?"
Kael smiled.
"Then you glow and I look heroic."
[ THIS IS NOT A PLAN ]
[ THIS IS A VIBE-BASED STRATEGY ]
Ethan sighed.
"Fine," he said. "But if we die, I'm haunting both of you."
Kael laughed as they headed toward the noise.
"Deal."
And for the first time, Ethan realized something important:
He wasn't alone anymore.
Which meant the System had more material.
[ PARTY STATUS: FORMED ]
[ COMBINED COMPETENCE: QUESTIONABLE ]
The noise turned out to be a cart.
Which was good.
It was not on fire, not screaming, and not full of teeth.
Which put it well above average so far.
The cart sat sideways in the street, one wheel snapped clean off. A crate of something round—apples, maybe—had spilled everywhere. A very angry merchant stood in the middle of it, gesturing wildly at no one in particular.
"This is the third time," the merchant shouted. "Third! I reinforce the axle, it breaks. I reinforce that, something else breaks!"
Kael slowed, squinting.
"Huh," he said. "That's familiar."
[ SYSTEM CROSS-REFERENCE ]
[ SIMILAR INCIDENT LOGGED: YESTERDAY ]
[ CAUSE: PROBABILITY INSTABILITY ]
Ethan stopped walking.
"…Probability what?"
[ LOCAL REALITY IS A LITTLE TIRED ]
The merchant noticed them.
His eyes immediately went to Ethan's hands.
"Oh no," he said. "No no no. Not again."
Ethan raised both palms defensively. "I haven't done anything!"
"You exist," the merchant snapped. "That's usually enough."
Kael stepped forward smoothly, cloak swishing dramatically.
"Friend," he said, lowering his voice. "We're just passing through."
The merchant looked Kael up and down.
"…Why do you look like an elf?"
Kael smiled. "Because people listen."
The merchant rubbed his face. "I don't have the energy for this."
[ NPC PATIENCE: CRITICAL ]
A crowd began to gather.
Ethan leaned toward Kael. "Should we leave?"
Kael nodded. "Yes."
They did not leave.
Because the broken cart groaned.
Everyone froze.
The axle twisted slightly, wood fibers creaking like something trying to remember how to be whole.
Ethan's hands itched.
"Oh no," he whispered.
[ HEALER RESPONSE TRIGGERED ]
[ THIS IS INSTINCTUAL ]
"I'm not doing anything," Ethan said, panicking. "I swear I'm not—"
The wheel reattached itself.
Not smoothly.
Not cleanly.
It snapped back into place with a loud thunk and then sat there, vibrating slightly like it was embarrassed.
Silence.
The merchant stared.
The crowd stared.
Kael stared.
[ TARGET: CART ]
[ STATUS: FUNCTIONAL (ANGRILY) ]
Ethan's voice cracked. "I didn't mean to do that."
The merchant slowly turned toward him.
"…You healed my cart."
"Yes."
"You weren't supposed to do that."
"I know."
The merchant took a long breath.
Then another.
Then laughed.
A short, hysterical sound.
"Fine," he said. "Fine. If reality wants to be weird, we'll be weird."
He tossed Ethan a small pouch.
"Take it. Before something else fixes itself."
Ethan caught it. It jingled.
"…Is this money?"
"Yes. Go."
[ QUEST COMPLETE ]
[ QUEST WAS NOT ISSUED ]
Kael grabbed Ethan's arm and pulled him away.
They ducked into an alley, hearts pounding.
"…You healed a wheel," Kael said reverently.
"I didn't know I could!"
[ NEITHER DID WE ]
Kael laughed so hard he had to sit down.
"Oh, this is fantastic," he said. "You're a walking maintenance violation."
"I don't want to be!"
"Too late."
Ethan slid down beside him, head in his hands.
"This world is going to hate me."
Kael shrugged. "Maybe. But it's also going to need you."
Ethan peeked up. "…You think?"
Kael grinned. "Absolutely. Things are always breaking. People too."
[ SENTIMENT DETECTED ]
[ DISGUSTING BUT ACCEPTABLE ]
A guard rounded the corner.
"You two," the guard said. "System?"
Ethan sighed. "Yes."
Kael waved cheerfully. "Harmless."
The guard eyed the alley, then the street beyond.
"…Did you fix the cart?"
"No," Ethan said quickly.
The guard squinted.
"…Did it fix itself?"
"…Yes?"
The guard nodded. "That tracks."
He walked away.
[ LAW ENFORCEMENT RESPONSE: TIRED ]
Ethan leaned back against the wall.
"So," he said. "What now?"
Kael stood, brushing off his cloak.
"Now," he said, "we leave town before you accidentally heal a building into sentience."
"…Is that possible?"
[ DO NOT TEST THIS ]
Ethan groaned.
They slipped back onto the road as the sun dipped low again.
Two System users.
One healer who shouldn't work like this.
One ranger powered mostly by confidence.
Together, they headed toward the next problem.
Which was almost certainly already breaking.