They had packed.
That was the first thing I noticed.
Not their faces.
Not Xavier's sword.
Not Arkad standing with his shoulders set as if the Academy gate itself had personally offended him.
The bags.
Balthazar carried a narrow travel case and one satchel. Anata had packed lightly, almost efficiently enough to suggest she had been considering departure before I walked through the gate. Arkad's bag looked overfilled and badly closed. Eulalie had brought less than all of them.
Xavier had his sword, two packs, and the expression of a man who believed explanation was already late.
Elisabeth stood farther back beside the hired carriage.
No luggage.
That mattered.
The gate shut behind me.
For a moment nobody spoke.
Students passed along the outer road and slowed just enough to look without admitting they were looking.
I still had the two pieces of my cut Academy band in my pocket.
Balthazar still held the copy of my expulsion decision.
Arkad broke first.
"We're leaving."
I looked at the bags again.
"Yes. That was my suspicion."
"With you," he said.
"Ah."
Xavier's face hardened.
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Do that thing where you make a joke until everyone gets tired."
"I have several things. You'll need specificity."
"No."
Eulalie spoke quietly.
"He means stop pretending you don't understand."
I understood perfectly.
That was why the joke had seemed attractive.
I stepped away from the gate.
"Not here."
Arkad looked back at Nexus.
"Why? They worried we're going to embarrass them?"
"Yes."
That surprised him.
I continued walking toward the carriage.
"They have enough paperwork."
No one laughed.
The bags followed.
That sound—
boots, straps, metal buckles—
became irritating quickly.
I stopped near the low stone wall separating the Academy road from the public avenue.
"Put them down."
Nobody did.
"Please."
That worked better.
Five bags reached the ground.
Xavier remained standing beside his.
I looked at Elisabeth.
"You too?"
"No."
The answer came instantly.
Small relief.
She folded her arms.
"I came because these idiots were going to march out of Nexus and follow you without knowing where you're going."
Arkad looked offended.
"We know."
"Where?"
Silence.
Elisabeth nodded.
"My point."
I liked her very much at that moment.
Xavier didn't.
"Then you're staying?"
"With the Sierra."
"Which means Raymond."
"No. It means the Sierra."
Elisabeth pointed toward me.
"He can sleep in a ditch if he wants. I am not giving up an airship because he has developed another philosophy."
I almost smiled.
Then stopped.
Five others remained.
Balthazar spoke.
"I can move the Éthérite work."
"No."
"I didn't ask permission."
"You don't have the apparatus."
"I can acquire it."
"With what?"
His jaw tightened.
Exactly.
Our money was no longer abundant.
The research relied on Nexus laboratory access, controlled conditions, specialist measuring instruments and a library Balthazar's family connections had helped him navigate.
He knew.
I knew.
That should have ended the discussion.
It didn't.
"I'll manage," he said.
"Of course."
He heard something in my voice.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what I said."
"No, it doesn't."
I looked at the others.
Five people between fifteen and sixteen, standing outside one of the most prestigious institutions in Catington because a sixteen-year-old with one name had managed to get expelled.
This was absurd.
Worse, it was flattering.
Flattery is one of the more dangerous forms of poison because the victim usually volunteers to swallow.
"You're all going back."
Arkad laughed.
"No."
"Anata?"
"No."
"Balthazar?"
"No."
"Eulalie?"
"You already know my answer."
Xavier didn't wait.
"No."
There were moments when democracy was intolerable.
I put my hands into my coat pockets.
"Fine."
Xavier's eyes narrowed.
He knew that tone.
"Raymond."
"You want to follow me? Let's discuss what you're actually choosing."
"We know," Arkad said.
"No. You're angry."
"We're not children."
"Neither am I."
That came out sharper than intended.
Sixteen was still new in the mouths of Nexus officials. It had sounded like responsibility when they expelled me and youth whenever they restricted me.
Now I was using it too.
I tried again.
"Balthazar. Your Éthérite series?"
"Fifteen."
"Twenty needed before the next stage."
"Yes."
"Who has the laboratory?"
"Nexus."
"The controlled storage?"
"Nexus."
"Reference materials?"
"Nexus and my family."
"And you're going to abandon all of it so you can sit on the Sierra and watch me sulk?"
His face changed.
Good.
No.
Not good.
Effective.
Different word.
"I can work elsewhere."
"Worse."
"For a while."
"Which means slowing the research because you've decided friendship is a scientific method."
Balthazar went very still.
I knew him well enough to know he would have preferred anger.
Instead he closed his travel case.
"You think that's why I'm here?"
"I think you enjoy being useful."
His eyes met mine.
"And you don't?"
That hit before I prepared for it.
I ignored the question.
"You have work inside Nexus. Do it."
"I can decide that."
"Then decide better."
His mouth tightened.
First wound.
I moved on before I could regret it.
Arkad was easier.
That made it worse.
"You want justice."
He crossed his arms.
"Yes."
"So your solution to an institution making a bad decision is to walk away from it."
"They expelled you."
"They didn't expel you."
"That's the point."
"No, the point is that you finally have something more difficult to do than being angry."
His face darkened.
"Careful."
"Why? You'll challenge me to a duel outside the gate? Very symbolic."
"Raymond."
Eulalie's warning.
I ignored it.
Arkad's hands had curled.
"Stay," I said. "File complaints. Ask questions. Make them hate seeing you enter an office. Learn the rules well enough that the next person can't be removed this easily."
"And you?"
"I'll survive."
"You don't know that."
"I usually improvise."
"This isn't funny."
"I wasn't joking."
Arkad looked toward Nexus.
The anger remained.
But the bag at his feet had suddenly become less certain.
I turned to Anata.
She spoke first.
"Don't."
"What?"
"Whatever you're about to do."
"I was going to compliment your packing."
"No."
Anata rarely wasted words.
She looked at Balthazar.
Then Arkad.
Then Xavier.
"You're separating us."
Nobody moved.
I smiled slightly.
"Am I?"
"Yes."
"How unpleasant of me."
"You picked Balthazar's research. Arkad's justice."
Her eyes narrowed.
"You'll find something for everyone."
Smart.
I should have been proud.
Instead I was irritated she'd said it aloud.
"What would I use on you?"
"Nothing."
"Everyone has something."
"That's exactly why I'm not answering."
Xavier looked at her.
Then at me.
Anata folded her arms.
"I was considering leaving before today."
That was new.
"Why?"
"None of your business."
Correct.
She continued.
"But I won't leave because Arkad is angry, Xavier feels guilty or you were expelled."
Arkad opened his mouth.
She glanced at him.
He closed it.
"I'll decide after I finish what I came to Nexus for."
"What is that?"
"Still none of your business."
I almost laughed.
She picked up her bag.
Then placed it beside the wall rather than over her shoulder.
Staying for now.
Not because I had won.
Better.
Annoying.
Better.
Eulalie had watched everything.
I did not want to speak to her.
Which meant she was next.
"You have Saint-Patrick."
"Yes."
"Patients."
"Yes."
"Bismelda."
"Yes."
"Your order."
"Yes."
"Nexus access helps all three."
"Yes."
She waited.
I disliked her method.
"Then this is simple."
"No."
I sighed.
"What part?"
"The part where you think listing what matters to me gives you authority over what I choose."
"I never said authority."
"You don't need to."
That landed more quietly than Xavier's anger.
Eulalie took one step closer.
"Our agreement was very clear. You do not use my position without permission. You do not decide what I risk without telling me. And I stop you when your choices endanger people."
"I remember."
"Then remember the part where I'm a person."
I looked away.
Bad choice.
She noticed.
"You're doing it again."
"Doing what?"
"Deciding for everyone because you think your reason is better."
I could have told the truth.
Yes.
I could have said I wanted them inside Nexus because I had no idea what waited outside, because my name had just been dragged through an institution, because someone remained unidentified in Adeline's case, because Pandemonium was written in Marduk's book like a threat I could not yet measure.
Instead I chose the tool I trusted.
Cruelty with purpose.
"I don't need a conscience following me around."
Silence.
Eulalie stopped.
The words felt ugly immediately.
I kept going.
"You helped because you were useful here. Saint-Patrick, Nexus, medical access. Outside that context, your objections become expensive company."
Her face changed very little.
That was worse.
"Is that what I was?"
"No," something in me answered.
Not aloud.
Eulalie studied me for several seconds.
Then she nodded once.
"I see."
I had wanted anger.
Anger would have been easier.
She picked up her bag.
For one terrible second I thought she was leaving with it.
Then she placed it inside Elisabeth's carriage.
"I'm returning to Saint-Patrick tonight."
Success.
It tasted awful.
Elisabeth stared at me.
She knew.
I avoided her eyes.
Four remained.
Then three.
Then two.
Then Xavier.
Of course Xavier waited.
He always had dreadful timing.
"You're done?" he asked.
"Nearly."
"Then say mine."
I looked at him.
"No."
He gave a small laugh.
"Say it."
"Xavier."
"You had one for everyone."
"Enough."
His expression hardened.
"What am I?"
I knew exactly which blade fit.
That was the problem.
He had spent years trying to become someone other than the boy who survived because I was there.
Zack had given him a discipline that did not belong to me.
Nexus had given him achievements with no connection to my plans.
He wanted to be worthy without becoming my imitation.
A fear I knew because I had watched it grow.
I used it anyway.
"You've followed me long enough."
Xavier's face emptied.
Nobody spoke.
"You came off the island because I had the Sierra. You entered Catington because that was my destination. You entered Nexus beside me."
His eyes remained on mine.
I made myself continue.
"Perhaps being expelled is the first useful thing I've done for you. You finally have a chance to discover whether you can make a decision without checking where I'm standing."
Elisabeth whispered my name.
I ignored her.
Xavier did not.
His voice dropped.
"You think I'm your shadow."
"I think you've spent enough time practicing."
There.
That one struck.
I saw it.
His fingers loosened from the strap of his pack.
For a second I wanted to take the sentence back.
Then I remembered what happened if he came.
He lost Zack.
His education.
His access.
His future.
Perhaps more.
The cruelty was cheaper.
That was what I told myself.
Xavier nodded slowly.
"Okay."
He lifted the pack.
Arkad took a step toward him.
Xavier stopped him with one hand.
"No."
He walked closer to me.
Not angry now.
That was dangerous.
"You're lying."
I smiled.
"About?"
"All of it."
"An ambitious accusation."
"Balthazar."
He pointed without looking away from me.
"You attacked his work because you know it's the reason he can't leave."
Balthazar said nothing.
"Arkad. You gave him a better fight inside Nexus because you know he'll take it."
Still nothing.
"Anata caught you before you could start."
A pause.
"Eulalie."
He looked toward her.
I didn't.
"You knew exactly what would make her step back."
My smile had disappeared.
Xavier came another half step closer.
"And me."
"Xavier—"
"You know exactly what I hate hearing."
That stopped me.
His eyes were bright with anger now.
But controlled.
Zack's work, perhaps.
His own.
"You know because you listened."
I said nothing.
"You know because you remember."
Nothing.
"And if you really didn't need us…"
His voice broke slightly, then steadied.
"…you wouldn't be working this hard to make us hate you."
There it was.
Nobody moved.
The city continued around us.
Carriage wheels.
Market calls farther down the avenue.
A bird landed on the Academy wall and immediately decided our drama was uninteresting.
I could have denied it.
I had lied better under worse conditions.
Chessmaster supplied possibilities automatically.
Mock him.
Redirect.
Attack another insecurity.
Tell him he was proving dependence by demanding affection.
Excellent lines.
Clean exits.
I used none.
Xavier understood anyway.
That irritated me most.
"So?" he asked.
"So what?"
"Say you want us to stay because it's better for us."
"That seems redundant."
"Say it."
"No."
"Why?"
Because that would sound too close to asking them to trust me.
Because it would acknowledge that I cared what happened after I left.
Because then their choice would remain theirs while my feelings stayed visible.
Unacceptable arrangement.
I looked toward Nexus instead.
"You have something here I don't anymore."
Xavier waited.
"Use it."
"That's not what I asked."
"It is what you're getting."
His jaw tightened.
Then he removed his second pack.
The smaller one.
He threw it at my feet.
I caught it against my leg.
"What is this?"
"Food."
I stared.
"Bandages. Spare shirt. Water flask."
"I own shirts."
"Not enough."
Elisabeth made a small sound that might have been laughter.
Xavier picked up his remaining bag.
"I am staying."
I nodded.
"Wise."
"Shut up."
"Also wise."
He pointed at me.
"But I'm not staying because you told me to."
"I know."
"I'm staying because Zack is here. Because I earned my place. Because I'm not finished."
His voice hardened.
"And because if Nexus was wrong about you, someone should still be inside when the truth appears."
That had not been one of my reasons.
It was better.
"I can accept that."
"I don't care."
Good.
He turned away.
Then stopped.
"One more thing."
"What?"
"Next time you decide to protect me by lying to my face, make the lie better."
He walked toward the Academy gate.
The others did not follow immediately.
Arkad picked up his bag.
"You're an ass."
"I've received worse evaluations."
"No. Listen."
He pointed toward me.
"You were right about staying."
A pause.
"And I hate that you thought that gave you permission to say the rest."
Then he followed Xavier.
Anata collected hers.
She stopped beside me.
"You almost got what you wanted."
"Almost?"
"You wanted us to stay and believe it was our idea."
I looked at her.
She shrugged.
"We're staying. You don't get the second part."
Then she left.
Balthazar remained.
He picked up his travel case.
"The Éthérite work stays at Nexus."
"Good."
He closed his eyes briefly.
I winced.
"Sorry."
That surprised both of us.
He studied me.
"Research continues."
"I know."
"You don't get to change the protocol remotely."
"I know."
"No larger trial before twenty reproducible series."
"I know."
"And if you send me a message telling me to accelerate because you suddenly had a revelation in a forest, I'll burn the message."
"That seems scientifically unsound."
"I'll preserve the ashes."
He left.
Eulalie was last among those who belonged inside.
She did not approach me.
I preferred that.
"What you said," she began.
I waited.
"Don't apologize now."
"I wasn't going to."
"Liar."
Fair.
She looked toward the gate.
"I am staying because I choose Saint-Patrick, my work and what I still need from Nexus."
"I understand."
"No."
She shook her head.
"You understand the list. That's different."
Then she walked to the carriage.
Elisabeth waited until Eulalie was inside before looking at me.
"That was disgusting."
"Yes."
No defense arrived.
She seemed surprised.
"You knew?"
"Before I started."
"And did it anyway."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"They're staying."
Elisabeth stared at me for so long that the answer began sounding worse by itself.
Finally:
"You really are sixteen."
I frowned.
"What does that mean?"
"It means you're old enough to build a criminal institution and young enough to think getting the result proves the method worked."
That one I kept.
Against my will.
She climbed onto the driver's step.
"The Sierra stays in Catington."
"I expected."
"Marcus stays under care."
"Yes."
"Rex will probably try to follow you."
"He has excellent judgment."
"He eats more than you."
"So does Xavier."
"He'll hear that."
"Eventually."
Elisabeth took the reins.
"Where are you going?"
I looked toward the road leaving the Academy district.
Beyond Catington's outer settlements, dark woodland climbed toward the training forests and unmanaged hills.
I needed space.
More importantly, I needed somewhere without Nexus notices, La Baronna ledgers or people whose futures I could improve by interfering with them.
"The forest."
Elisabeth's face tightened.
"To do what?"
"Train."
"That word has become suspicious."
"Everything I say has become suspicious."
"Stay out of Alchemia Morphica experiments while alone."
I smiled.
She did not.
I removed the smile.
"I heard you."
"That isn't agreement."
"No."
She sighed.
At least some relationships remained normal.
The carriage moved.
Eulalie did not look back.
I told myself that was easier.
It wasn't.
By sunset I had left the Academy district behind.
Xavier's pack sat over one shoulder.
My own bag rested across the other.
Devil's Deceptions was wrapped carefully inside.
The Blacklist rested against my ribs.
The cut Academy band occupied a small pocket I had considered emptying twice.
I kept it.
Not sentiment.
Evidence.
Probably.
Rex found me near the northern road before the city gates.
I still have no idea how.
He emerged between two freight wagons, ignored three shouting drivers and stopped beside me with the calm confidence of a creature who had never once respected human administrative boundaries.
"You were supposed to stay with Elisabeth."
Rex blinked.
"Excellent argument."
He started walking beside me.
I could have sent him back.
I didn't.
That evening, the forest swallowed the road gradually rather than dramatically.
Fewer houses.
Then farms.
Then long stretches of wet grass and trees.
Catington remained behind me, its lights visible whenever the land rose.
Nexus stood somewhere among them.
So did the Sierra.
La Baronna.
Saint-Patrick.
The Éthérite trays.
Five people I had successfully convinced to remain where they needed to be.
Successful.
I tried the word several times.
It never improved.
Xavier had been right.
That was unfortunate.
I had not given them freedom.
I had arranged pain until their freedom produced the result I wanted.
A subtler form of the same habit.
Perhaps worse, because I could call it sacrifice afterward.
I stopped beneath the trees.
Rex stopped too.
For once, I did not open the Blacklist.
There was no useful category for what I had done.
No debtor.
No creditor.
No probability.
No condition of victory.
I had wanted them safe.
They were safer.
And somewhere between those two facts, I had hurt them deliberately because trusting their judgment had frightened me more than losing their affection.
The forest ahead was dark enough that the road disappeared after several dozen yards.
I started walking anyway.