Azura's POV
It had been five days since I walked out of Rhydor's study with my heart in pieces, since I slapped him. Five days since he told me he hated that I was even born.
And in all that time, I hadn't seen him once.
Not in the halls, not at dinner, not even a shadow of him from a window. It was like he had vanished. Or maybe I was the one who had disappeared.
Sometimes, when I caught my reflection in a mirror, I was surprised to see a girl staring back. I felt more like a ghost.
I spent most of my time in the garden now.
There was a stone bench hidden between two rows of tall rose bushes. It was quiet there. No one came to poke or prod at me. I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest, my chin resting on my knees, just staring at the dirt.
The flowers didn't care that I was falling apart. The wind didn't ask me why I looked so tired. The silence didn't judge me for being "nothing." I liked it that way.
Genevieve had tried to help. She offered to send maids to keep me company or people to talk to. I just shook my head. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to pretend to be okay when my chest felt like it was filled with lead. I just wanted to be left alone.
My life was a circle now: Garden. Room. Garden. Room.
I ate because Genevieve made me, not because the food tasted like anything. I slept only when my body finally gave out, but even then, the dreams were dark and heavy. Some nights I cried until my pillow was soaked. Other nights, I just stared at the ceiling until the sun came up.
I wasn't just tired. I was the kind of exhausted that sleep couldn't fix. It was a weight sitting right on my heart, making every step feel like I was walking through deep mud.
I was on my bench again when a maid found me. She approached slowly, her hands tucked into her apron.
"My Lady."
I didn't look up. I just watched a beetle crawl across a leaf.
"You're needed. Right now," she said softly.
I finally turned my head. "Where?"
"The Council Chamber."
She looked like she wanted to run away. I didn't ask why. I didn't have the energy to care. I just gave a small nod and stood up. My legs felt stiff, like old wood.
The walk to the chamber felt like it took forever. My footsteps were the only sound in the long, cold stone hallways. I didn't fix my hair. I didn't change my clothes. I was just wearing a plain gray dress that made me look as dull as I felt.
I wasn't a Luna. I was just a girl in a cage.
I stopped in front of the giant wooden doors and took one shaky breath. Then I pushed them open.
The room was packed. Five Elders sat in a semi-circle, their faces hard and wrinkled like old leather. Silas was standing off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest. And at the far end, sitting in a chair that looked more like a throne, was the Alpha.
My chest tightened instantly. I kept my face as blank as a stone wall.
Silas stepped forward and pointed to a chair right next to Rhydor. "You can sit here, Azura."
I looked at the chair. Then I looked at the empty seat on the completely opposite side of the room. I walked over there, sat down, and folded my hands in my lap. I didn't look at anyone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Elders trade annoyed looks. Silas shifted his weight but stayed quiet.
Rhydor didn't move. He didn't even blink. But from across the room, I saw the muscle in his jaw tighten, just once, before it went still as stone.
Elder Cassius cleared his throat. "We've called this meeting to talk about the Luna ceremony."
I didn't say anything. I just watched a dust mote floating in a beam of light.
"You won the trial," the Elder continued. "That is the law. The ceremony has to happen."
Silence.
An elderly woman with sharp, judgmental eyes spoke up. "We need to know when you want it to happen."
Never, I thought. I want it to never happen.
But I kept my lips pressed together. I wasn't going to give them anything.
One of them shifted in their seat, looking frustrated. "My Lady? Do you have a preference?"
I didn't answer. What was there to say? Should I tell them that the man they want me to be with hates the fact that I exist?
Then, Rhydor's voice cut through the room. It was steady and cold. "The ceremony will happen soon."
The Elders turned to him. "How soon, Alpha?"
"The next full moon."
The Elders started nodding and whispering to each other. They were happy or pretending to be happy, because none of them was really at my side.
It was settled. They talked about me like I was a piece of furniture they were moving into a new house.
I squeezed my hands together in my lap. Hearing his voice made my heart ache in a way that made me feel sick. I hated that he still had that power over me.
Elder Cassius looked back at me. "Does that date work for you, My Lady?"
I didn't give them the satisfaction of a reply. Instead, I just stood up. The room went silent. I didn't ask to leave. I didn't wait for a "thank you." I just walked toward the door.
Behind me, I heard the angry whispers start.
"So disrespectful."
"Who does she think she is?"
I didn't look back. I pushed the doors open and kept walking.
I was halfway down the hall when I heard fast footsteps behind me.
"Azura! Wait!"
It was Silas. I didn't stop. He caught up and stepped in front of me, forcing me to halt. His face was full of worry.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
I looked at him, my eyes flat. "I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
I didn't argue. I didn't have the breath for it.
Silas sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I miss the old you," he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "The girl who used to smile. The one who would snap back at me. You look like you're carrying the whole world on your back, Azura."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "That girl is gone, Silas. He killed her."
He frowned. "Don't say that."
I stepped around him. "I'm tired, Silas. Just let me go."
He didn't follow me this time.
****
My room felt like an icebox when I walked in. I leaned against the door and let out a long, shaky breath. The silence was so heavy it felt like it was crushing me.
I walked over to the small table by the mirror and sat down. The journal was sitting there, right where I'd left it. That worn, brown leather cover. No lock. No key. Just an annoying book that refused to open for me.
I reached out and touched it with one finger. "Why won't you just let me in?" I whispered.
No answer. Just a stupid, stubborn book.
I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes, feeling the sting of tears behind my lids. As I shifted my hand, I felt a sharp, sudden prick.
"Ow," I muttered, pulling my hand back.
I looked down. A small splinter from the edge of the old wooden desk had sliced my finger. A bright red drop of blood started to well up. It didn't really hurt, but I sat there staring at it, watching the red get bigger.
I stood up to go find a cloth, but as I moved, the drop fell.
It landed right in the center of the journal.
What happened next froze me up like complete ice.
The blood didn't sit on top of the leather. It didn't smear. It started to sink in. Slowly, like the book was thirsty, the leather drank the red drop until it was gone.
Then, the journal began to glow.
It started as a dim, golden light seeping out from between the pages. My heart started racing. The light grew brighter, and then, with a soft creak, the cover moved.
Oh Goddess, It opened. All by itself.