Akash
I was feeling… oddly happy this morning. Meera had apologized to me twice already, and that felt like an achievement. Honestly, I didn't know why it mattered so much, but it did. Then Papa asked me to drop her School, and without thinking, I said yes. Why? Because, somehow, I didn't want to stay away from her. I liked teasing her, watching her fluster—it gave me this strange, messed-up satisfaction.
But the ride soon ruined my mood completely. Meera had managed to annoy me so thoroughly that I literally felt like boiling. Who talks to their husband like that? "Go spend the night with your girlfriend," she had said. Really, Meera? Fine, we both didn't want this marriage, but who says things like that? And yes, it hurt. It hurt a lot.
It felt like she had completely ignored me, erased me from her life. That wasn't a habit I was used to. I'd always had attention from girls—always. Every girl came to me. I never had to chase anyone. Even with Neha, I never did anything for her affection. And yet, Meera… she didn't care. And that… that made me feel things I couldn't even process.
By the time I reached the hospital, I was late, and Meera had already completely messed with my head. I couldn't even explain it. Alright. Meera wants me to spend the night with my girlfriend? Fine. Today, I'd stay at Neha's flat. After all, my life was supposed to be with her anyway.
I tried calling Meera twice, but she didn't pick up either time. Finally, I sent a message: "I'll stay at Neha's tonight. Handle things at home." An hour passed. Her reply came: "OK." That was it. Just OK. She didn't even call back. I've never felt so worthless in my life. Because of her, I couldn't focus at work either. Last night… that jungali bili (wild cat )Meera had completely destroyed my sleep. Everyone always says she's innocent, sweet… bholi. Bholi my foot! She had threatened me like crazy last night.
Alright, I'll try to make my life normal. That's why I called Neha. "I'll stay at your place tonight," I told her. She squealed with happiness. Look at her reaction—I love how much it matters to her.
I stayed late at the hospital because Neha would be late too. Around 9:30 PM, I reached her flat. Neha opened the door, standing there in black night shorts, hot and irresistible. The whole flat smelled faintly of scented candles—soft, calming.
I sat on the couch. Neha came close, looking at me with that seductive voice:
"I'll take all your stress away tonight…"
She smiled and said you should freshen up, then we'd have dinner. She went into the kitchen to cook, and I just… wanted to run. My mind was a mess. I knew what was coming, and I wasn't ready. I'd never really been ready.
In the past, I'd had three girlfriends, each relationship lasting barely two months. They had approached me; there was no emotional connection. Once or twice, maybe a kiss, but nothing deeper. That's why all those relationships ended—because emotional investment matters, and I never felt it.
Neha was different. She had been my friend since college. By final year, she confessed her feelings, and I thought… why not? Maybe this would be different. Maybe this time, it could work. But even with her, physically… I wasn't feeling the spark. I complied with her desires, yes, but excitement? Connection? Not really. My head was full of chaos, guilt, and confusion.
Neha returned from the kitchen.
"Akash, you haven't taken a bath yet?" she asked softly. She came close, nudging me:
"Go check the bathroom."
I went, changed into shorts and a t-shirt, and then joined her for dinner. During the meal, she asked if I'd like some wine. "Yes," I said. Honestly, I just needed it.
Later, she came closer again. "Since your wedding, we haven't even kissed. Tonight… let's make it real," she said softly.
"I respect you, Neha. Whatever moment we share should be real," I replied.
Inside, though, I felt… wrong. My mind was still tangled with Meera. I couldn't lie to myself: I hadn't felt this conflicted before, not even with my past girlfriends.
Neha stepped out for a moment. My eyes fell on the pack of condoms on the table. I knew what it meant. But I couldn't let myself go there. With all the emotions tangled up, I felt like I'd be cheating on myself, on my own conscience.
When Neha returned, I looked at her.
"I'm sorry… I have to go home," I said.
She was shocked. "Why?"
"Duggu isn't feeling well. Aunty called. I need to go," I explained. I hoped she understood. I couldn't stay and pretend everything was fine.
Neha nodded slowly, sadness in her eyes. "It's 11 PM…"
"I know. That's why I have to go," I said, and left.
On the drive back, I asked myself what I was doing. Everything felt wrong. I hadn't felt like this before—not before marriage, not before. Even with Neha, there had been no real emotional connection. Now? The guilt of being unable to reciprocate her feelings… it gnawed at me.
I reached home, called my uncle. He opened the gate.
"Meera said there's a surgery at the hospital, you might not come," he said.
"Yes, it's done, I went," I replied.
"Your hospital shorts… they're really short," he remarked, making me smile faintly.
Inside, I went to our room. The door wasn't locked—Meera hadn't done it. I turned on the light. She was fast asleep, hugging a pillow. I watched her for a few minutes. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was Meera herself… but I felt drawn to her.
Her lips… I caught myself staring. My mind screamed at me to stop. I had a hot girlfriend waiting, yet here I was, unable to look away at the woman who drove me crazy every day.
I carefully moved the pillow she hugged, whispered softly, almost to myself,
"Thank you, Meera… for making my life this confusing."
It just the inevitable pull of physical attraction between opposite genders? Meera… she was magnetic, and I couldn't explain why?
And Her lips… I couldn't look away. Every instinct in me screamed to stop, yet I was frozen, staring…