"Speak."
"In Your Majesty's heart, Yu Zhi… what exactly am I?" I met her gaze directly, neither dodging nor retreating. "Am I the one who shared a rendezvous with Your Majesty beneath the night scenery of the Plum Garden? A plaything in this Phoenix Perching Palace that must be carefully kept? Or… the most effective chess piece used to restrain and punish the Su family? Or perhaps all three?"
Her pupils contracted sharply! She had clearly not expected me to ask so directly, so sharply. A trace of unmistakable anger swept through her eyes, only to be covered at once by a deeper gloom. "Su Yuzhi, are you questioning me?"
"Yu Zhi would not dare." I lowered my eyes, then raised them again. What lay within them was a desolate calm. "Yu Zhi merely… wishes to die with clarity."
The word "die" had barely left my lips when the air in the hall seemed to freeze instantly. The imperial pressure she had been suppressing all along suddenly erupted, carrying terrifying fury and a trace of… inexplicable alarm. "Insolent! Who allowed you to say such things?!"
I was not cowed by her furious shout. Instead, I pressed forward another half step, close enough that I could almost feel her slightly quickened breathing brought on by anger. Slowly, I raised the right hand I had been clenching all this time. Under her suddenly uncertain, startled gaze, I gradually spread my palm.
The red-gold kingfisher-inlaid phoenix hairpin glinted beneath the candlelight with a cold, resplendent sheen. That coral bead was red like coagulated blood.
Then—amid Qin Nanny's and Chunyu's strangled cries, amid Xiao Yuhuang's abruptly widened pupils filled with disbelief and sudden panic—I fiercely pressed the sharp tail of the golden hairpin against the left side of my chest!
The keen tip pierced through the thin fabric with ease. A clear stab of pain shot through me, and I could feel warm liquid instantly soaking my fingertips.
"Yu Zhi! Don't!" Qin Nanny screamed shrilly as she tried to rush forward, only to be driven back several steps by a fierce burst of qi from Xiao Yuhuang's raised hand, slamming into a pillar with a muffled groan.
The moment I pressed the hairpin to my heart, all the color drained from Xiao Yuhuang's face, leaving it paper-white. She stared at me, stared at the weapon pressed to my chest, stared at the vivid red seeping from my fingertips and spreading rapidly. In those eyes that were always unfathomable, that always held everything under control, clear fear and panic—almost splitting them apart—appeared for the first time. She even instinctively reached out, then froze midair, not daring to come any closer, as though the slightest stimulus would make me drive the hairpin straight into my heart.
"You… what do you think you're doing? Put it down! Su Yuzhi, I order you to put it down!" Her voice had lost all composure, trembling uncontrollably, hoarse—an order, yet also a panicked plea.
I looked into her eyes, into that fear she had never shown before, so real and unmistakable, and a nearly cruel sense of satisfaction surged in my heart. So you can be afraid too. Afraid that I might truly die right in front of you.
"Your Majesty," my voice was unnaturally calm, even carrying a strange gentleness that stood in horrifying contrast to the weapon at my heart, "this body of Yu Zhi's has long been at the end of its wick, life itself devoid of joy. Now the Su family has fallen because of me, my closest kin suffer because of me. Yu Zhi… living on only adds to the pain, and only brings further worry to Your Majesty."
"No! That's not… not so…" She panted urgently, trying to deny it, trying to explain, yet before my ever-calmer, ever-more-desperate gaze, her words dissolved into incoherence.
"Yu Zhi asks for nothing else." I cut her off, each word clear beyond doubt, carrying my final strength and resolve. "I ask only that Your Majesty show mercy."
"Release my eldest sister. Let her leave the Heavenly Prison, and ensure her life is spared."
"Restore my mother's official post, or at the very least, allow her to spend her remaining years in peace, no longer suffering the torment of imprisonment."
"As for the rest of the Su family, I beg Your Majesty… to show leniency."
With every sentence, the hairpin's tip sank another fraction deeper into my flesh. The pain grew ever clearer; the warmth soaked a wider stretch of my robe. My breathing became ragged, my face flushing with an unhealthy redness from blood loss and agitation, yet my gaze remained locked onto her.
"If Your Majesty agrees," I said slowly, watching the stormy waves churning in her eyes, "then this body of Yu Zhi's shall be entirely at Your Majesty's disposal. Life or death, confinement or freedom—I will harbor no resentment."
"If Your Majesty does not agree…" I paused, the corner of my lips lifting into a desolate, tragic curve, my hand suddenly exerting force—
"No—!!!"
Xiao Yuhuang let out a near-collapse howl and lunged forward without regard for anything else, moving so fast she was little more than a blur! At the instant her fingers were about to touch the hairpin, I stopped. The tip had already sunk nearly half an inch into my flesh. Blood stained the front of my pale robe, like a ferocious red plum blossom blooming upon snow.
She seized the wrist holding the hairpin, gripping so hard it felt as though my bones might shatter. Her body trembled violently, her breathing chaotic and uneven. In her eyes surged overwhelming fear, rage, heartache, and a madness born of complete loss of control. She stared at the glaring red on my chest, at my bloodstained fingertips, at my terrifyingly calm eyes reflecting her own disheveled panic, and a low growl like that of a trapped beast tore from her throat.
"You… you actually… you actually dared…" Her words were broken and disordered. Her other hand tried to touch my wound, yet trembled and did not dare fall.
"Your Majesty," I mustered my last strength to keep my voice steady, meeting her utterly shattered imperial dignity head-on, "Yu Zhi's request—will you… agree?"
Agree, or not agree?
Using my life in exchange for a single thread of survival for the Su family.
This was a wager, a threat, and also the last—and most resolute—thing I, Su Yuzhi, could do for my family.
The hall was deathly silent. Only her heavy, ragged breathing remained, along with my own breath, growing ever weaker. The scent of blood spread through the air.
Qin Nanny had collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down her face. Chunyu had already fainted from fright.
Time itself seemed to freeze at this moment.
The fingers gripping my wrist tightened more and more, so tight I thought my bones truly would break. Her gaze moved from the wound in my chest to my pale yet resolute face, then back to the bloodstained golden hairpin. The storm in her eyes churned madly before finally collapsing into a bottomless gray, heavy with endless pain and… a sense of surrender.
She closed her eyes. When she opened them again, only profound exhaustion and a desolation of utter defeat remained.
"…I," her voice hoarse and shattered, as though it took all the strength of her lifetime to force out that single word,
"permit it."