Even though I had already expected it, hearing it out loud still made all the blood in my body turn cold.
"You said," my voice trembled, "you said you would go along with me."
"I am going along with you!" she suddenly roared, her eyes red-rimmed. "I go along with you drinking bitter medicine every day, go along with you slowing your travels, go along with you exhausting every possible method to protect the fetus. But Yu Zhi, I cannot go along with you to your death!"
She dropped to one knee beside the bed and seized my wrist, gripping so hard it hurt. "Listen carefully. If I have to choose between you and the child, I choose you. A thousand times, ten thousand times, I choose you."
Tears surged out without warning.
Not from sorrow, not from anger, but from something deeper, more profound despair. For the fear in her eyes, for the life inside my body, for the two of us clinging to each other at the edge of a cliff.
"But I want him…" I choked, tightening my grip on her hand. "Xiao Yuhuang, this is our child. Your flesh and blood, my flesh and blood, fused together… how can you bear it?"
"And what about me?!" She looked up at me, tears sliding from the corners of her eyes. "What do you want me to do? Watch you weaken day by day, watch you use up your final breath for this child? Yu Zhi, tell me, what am I supposed to do?!"
She was shaking as she cried, like a lost child. This emperor who held the power of life and death was kneeling before me now, fragile beyond bearing.
I reached out and gently wiped away her tears.
"Do you remember," I said softly, "that year at the ice lake, when you held my hand and said you would repay me?"
She froze.
"I do not want your repayment." My fingertips traced her brow, the corners of her eyes, her cheek. "I only want you to promise me one thing."
"What is it?"
"Gamble with me once."
The sound of rain murmured on. The candlelight cast our shadows on the wall, overlapping into a blurred halo. I pulled her hand over again and pressed it to my lower abdomen.
"Maybe Qin Gugu is wrong," I said, my voice light as a whisper. "Maybe heaven will show mercy. Maybe I can endure it. Maybe…"
I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Maybe this child came to tell the world how deeply his parents love each other."
Xiao Yuhuang's hand began to tremble. She looked at me, tears blurring her vision, yet something in her eyes was loosening. Frozen ice melting, a dam collapsing, rigid reason crumbling inch by inch.
"Yu Zhi," she sobbed, resting her forehead against my knees. "I'm afraid…"
"I know." I stroked her hair. "I'm afraid too. But Xiao Yuhuang—"
I cupped her face and made her look at me.
"If this is my final journey, I want to take our child with me. If I can survive… then it will be a brand-new beginning for the three of us."
She closed her eyes, tears pouring down.
A long time passed. A very long time.
The rain gradually softened. Drops fell from the eaves onto the stone slabs, ding dong, ding dong, like the slow footsteps of time. At last she opened her eyes. Those deep brown eyes, washed clean by tears, reflected the candlelight and my face.
"Alright."
One word, light as a sigh, heavy as a thousand weights.
She straightened and gently lifted me from the bed, as if holding a priceless treasure. Nestled in her arms, I listened to her steady heartbeat, once, then again.
"I promise you," she said, kissing my forehead. "But Yu Zhi, you must promise me as well. If one day it truly comes to a choice, you must listen to me."
I was silent for a moment, then nodded.
She laid me back down, tucked the brocade quilt around me, but did not climb onto the bed. She simply sat at my side, holding my hand. The candlelight dimmed, and the darkness before dawn was the deepest of all.
"Sleep," she said. "I will watch over you."
I was truly exhausted. As I closed my eyes, I felt her hand resting on my lower abdomen, warm and firm, like a small protective moat.
Half asleep, half awake, I seemed to feel that faint fetal movement again, like a little fish blowing a bubble, lightly rippling outward in the deep sea.
This time, Xiao Yuhuang's hand trembled slightly.
Then I heard her voice, very soft, very soft, falling by my ear.
"Be good. Do not trouble your father."
Tears slipped from the corner of my eyes into my hair.
But I lifted the corners of my lips and, for the first time in a month, fell into a peaceful sleep.