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"As for this," Leo said, looking at the witch. "Marisa, your unlock condition is a Sumptuous Mushroom Feast. It's already finished. If you want to move into Stardew Valley, I'll open the way for you."
"Next is Yukari. Her conditions were met the moment we met: The Scroll and the Wizard's Tower."
"Miss Ran's condition is Prepare a portion of Fried Tofu Puffs, but there's no Mill on the farm right now, and I honestly don't know how to make them from scratch."
Ran's tail flicked sadly. Since the Human Village disappeared, she hadn't tasted her favorite snack in ages. Her hidden stash of tofu puffs had fermented into stinky tofu, which was a tragedy she still mourned.
"What about me?"
Reimu Hakurei, having woken up from her nap, looked much more energetic. Seeing Leo list everyone else's requirements without mentioning hers, she felt left out.
"For Miss Reimu..." Leo hesitated. "If I say it, you won't hit me, right?"
There were many memes from his old world about the Hakurei Shrine Maiden. Specifically, the infamous fan-theory from the doujin Nishoku Renpuu, which claimed that a 100,000 yen donation unlocked Reimu's... special services.
It was internet trash talk. But saying it to the real person? That was playing with fire.
"Go ahead," Reimu shrugged magnanimously, patting his shoulder. "I'm not unreasonable. Who am I? The Guardian of Gensokyo. Lawful Good. I wouldn't kill someone over a sentence."
"Promise?"
"Promise. No matter what you say, I won't beat you to death."
Leo took a deep breath.
"One yen to sweep you out. Ten yen for a smile. A hundred for tea. A thousand for a feast. Ten thousand to push you down once. And 100,000 Yen for Any Service."
"So, Miss Reimu's unlock condition is for me to have 100,000 Gold in Savings."
Silence. Eerie, deafening silence.
"Pfft... HAHAHAHA!"
Marisa was the first to explode with laughter. She doubled over, clutching her stomach. Yukari joined in, giggling behind her fan. Even Ran turned away, her shoulders shaking as she buried her face in her tails to hide her snickering.
Only Chen sat innocently on the cooler, guarding the fish, confused about why the adults were losing their minds.
"Haha! A hundred thousand for any service!" Marisa leaned against Reimu, wiping a tear. "Kid, how much money do you have now?"
"Sixteen thousand one hundred," Leo answered honestly.
"Not bad!" Marisa grinned. "According to the market rate, that's enough to push her down once, right?"
"Uh... that was a joke!" Leo stammered, seeing the dark aura gathering around Reimu. "But the unlock condition really is 100,000 Gold!"
"Don't worry," Reimu said, her voice dropping to absolute zero. "I said I wouldn't beat you to death. So I won't."
She cracked her knuckles.
"But I never said these two would return to Gensokyo in one piece!"
WHAM.
Reimu grabbed Marisa by the collar and slammed her into the ground like a sack of potatoes. Yukari tried to open a gap to escape, but Reimu was faster, tackling the Sage of Youkai and sitting directly on her chest.
"You were laughing very loudly just now!" Reimu hissed, her eyes glowing red. "It hurt my ears!"
This was authentic Gensokyo Urban Management.
Leo watched the chaos. The ground remained undamaged—uninvited guests couldn't affect the environment. He sighed in relief and turned to the responsible adults.
"Let's go, Chen. Miss Ran. Let's go eat. It's a Fish Feast tonight."
"Okay, meow!"
Back at the farmhouse, Ran began processing the day's catch. Leo used his remaining stamina to chop a few trees, clearing a dining area. He couldn't stomach another mushroom skewer—he felt like he was sweating spores. He needed real food.
By the time the bonfire was lit and the aroma of rich, milky fish soup filled the air, Reimu returned from the woods.
She was dragging two unconscious bodies by their ankles.
She tossed the "battle-damaged" Marisa and Yukari onto the grass like bags of trash and sat down by the fire.
"I'm telling you, it's not that I'm poor," Reimu explained to Leo seriously, accepting a bowl of soup. "If I really wanted money, I could just beat up random youkai and demand protection fees. Being poor is a lifestyle choice. That '100,000 for any service' rumor is completely false. Do not believe it."
"We usually call your method of making money 'robbery'," a weak voice groaned from the grass.
"If the hundred thousand is fake, then the ten thousand is real, right?" another voice wheezed.
Gensokyo natives were stubborn. Even when beaten until their ancestors felt it, they would never admit defeat. It was always a "strategic withdrawal."
"Heh. You've got guts."
Reimu sneered. She turned to Ran. "Keep the soup warm. I have some... business back in Gensokyo."
She stood up, grabbed Marisa and Yukari by their collars again, and dragged them toward a rift in space.
As the highest-stat entity in the setting, Reimu didn't need a key to go home. She literally kicked open the fabric of reality.
What followed on the other side was undoubtedly an inhumane beatdown. Marisa would use her face to attack Reimu's fist, and Yukari would use her ribs to assault Reimu's foot.
Five minutes later.
Reimu sat beside Leo, blissfully drinking her soup. She let out a contented sigh. It was like rain after a long drought.
"Where are those two?" Leo asked, looking at the two extra bowls on the rock table.
"Those two?" Reimu blew on her spoon. "They have... business. They suddenly realized they got too fat to fit through the Gap. They're stuck on the other side."
She spoke calmly about a terrifying reality. Then, she reached over, took Marisa's and Yukari's bowls, and downed them both in one go.
"Then how did you get back?"
"Simple. Once you've been here once, the path is marked. As long as you have the physical strength to shatter dimension walls, anyone can do it."
Outrageous logic. But irrefutable.
"Do me a favor," Leo said, pushing a pile of phones toward her. "Give these to the others. It'll make communication easier. Everyone can see my shop listings and buy requests."
These were the standard models. The custom "Paw Print" phone was exclusive to Chen.
"Sure," Reimu pocketed the devices. "I won't charge you for this. Consider it a free service."
She grinned.
"But if you ever want to visit Gensokyo... for a mere 10,000 Gold, I'll guarantee your safety. I'll be your bodyguard. Heck, if you pay me, I'll hold Yukari down while you kick her."