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Leo woke up this morning and, as usual, turned on the TV to check the weather forecast.
This was a daily ritual.
Rain? Go fishing or mining.
Sun? Farm and forage.
Luck? If the spirits are displeased, stay in bed.
He turned on the old CRT television.
Hiss...
Static. Snow.
Leo waited. Usually, the "Weather Report" or "Fortune Teller" would appear. Today, just white noise.
He slapped the side of the TV. Nothing.
"Guess it's broken," Leo shrugged. "I'll just ask Sanae later."
He reached behind him and unequipped the [Tail Wallet].
He had worn it all night.
Last night, he waited until Chen was asleep. Then, he equipped the tail, curled up on his side, and hugged the fluffy appendage like a body pillow.
It was heaven. Soft, warm, and luxurious.
If one tail is this good... imagine nine.
Leo sighed, stashed the tail in his inventory, and pushed open the front door.
The moment he stepped outside, Leo thanked every god he knew (including the Minecraft-Steve-Sanae statue) that he had taken the tail off.
Otherwise, he would have had to move to another dimension.
The farm was swarming.
Great Youkai were inspecting his fields. Little Fairies were frolicking among the crops.
And right in front of his door, Yukari Yakumo was tied up like a festive dumpling, wriggling on the ground.
"Have you eaten?" Leo asked instinctively.
His phone was vibrating like a jackhammer in his pocket. The Villager List was refreshing so fast it was a blur.
"Mmph mmph mmph!" Yukari screamed into her gag.
"She says she hasn't eaten and wants strawberries," Eirin translated helpfully.
"Mmph! Mmph mmph!"
"She says although she knows your stock is low, she has decided to sell herself to you for the sake of Gensokyo's strawberry supply."
"Mmph!"
"I understood that one," Leo nodded. "She said you're full of it."
Yukari glared at them with teary eyes. The sheer indignity was palpable.
"Can someone explain?" Leo asked, looking around the chaotic farm. "Did Gensokyo invade Stardew Valley?"
"Official Explanation," Eirin adjusted her glasses. "The Sage of Youkai, Yukari Yakumo, abused her power for personal gain (eating strawberries alone). She has been stripped of her citizenship and exiled to Stardew Valley."
Eirin sounded like a seasoned bureaucrat.
"Private Explanation," Yuuka Kazami stepped forward, twirling her parasol. "This Old Hag ate alone. We're punishing her."
Yuuka Kazami Race: Youkai Ability: Manipulation of Flowers Occupation: Flower Shop Owner / Guardian of Fairies Residence: Garden of the Sun Unlock Condition: Plant 5 Flower Fields (1/5)
Yuuka poked Yukari's butt with her boot.
"Mmph!" Yukari cursed. Yuuka smiled sadistically.
"But she's not very useful," Yuuka sighed. "If I keep her, she'll just eat my food and waste space. She's a negative asset."
Leo crouched down to inspect the "merchandise."
He looked at Yukari.
"This 'Corn' is a bit old," Leo critiqued, poking her cheek.
"The kernels are fair and elastic... good moisture content. The silk is golden... a bit curled. No pests. Healthy."
"However," Leo shook his head. "This variety is high-maintenance. It demands high soil fertility. It has a bad temper. If you don't water it right, it attacks the farmer. Not worth it."
"In conclusion: I can offer 10 Strawberries. Any higher is a loss."
"Tch," Eirin scoffed. "A money-loser indeed. Even Ran trades for 20."
"ENOUGH!"
Yukari spat out the gag.
"Believe it or not, I'll kill you all! And you!" She glared at Leo. "Who are you calling 'A Bit Old'?! I am a forever-17-year-old beautiful girl!"
"And 10 strawberries?! I'm worth your entire farm! Do you even dare to buy me?!"
"You guys have fun," Leo stood up, grabbed his watering can, and backed away. "I have chores."
He ran to the fields. The Sage was petty. If he stayed, he'd be Gap-fodder.
The fields were chaos.
A swarm of Little Fairies buzzed around like bees in a flower garden. They were poking the seedlings, chasing butterflies, and generally being nuisances.
"Hello! Hello! What is this?"
"Is this edible?"
"Can I pull it?"
They surrounded Leo, chattering like kindergarteners on a sugar rush.
"Everyone! No disturbing others! Go play over there!"
A green-haired fairy with translucent wings shouted, hands on her hips.
Daiyousei (Great Fairy) corralled the smaller fairies, shooing them away from Leo's work area.
Leo sighed in relief. He began to water his crops.
Today is going to be a long day.