Chapter 33: Potential Energy
Timeline: 10:00, Sunday
Location: Agonwood Ridge Trail
The fog had mostly retreated to the coastline, leaving the ridge exposed to the hard, bright California sun. I walked a few steps behind Dan and Ellie, watching the dust kick up around my hiking boots. The trail was zig-zagging through trees that looked like polished mahogany, spooky other trees with twisted branches, lots of dry grasses and something that smelled like bay leaves I sometimes cooked with.
"You okay back there?" Dan called out, pausing on a switchback. He looked concerned. He always looked concerned lately. "You're quiet."
"I'm conserving oxygen," I lied, adjusting my sunglasses.
In reality, I was replaying the sensation of a soft sweater binding my wrists. I looked down at my hands. They were free. They were holding a water bottle. But the phantom weight of Julian's sweater—the twist of the fabric, the tightness of the knot—was still there.
"No one touches what's mine without my permission." I shivered, despite the exertion from the hike.
Shouldn't I have been scared?
Instead, it was a lingering resonance, like a bell that had been struck hard and was still humming. And if it started to fade, I'd scramble to make it ring again.
Maybe I do lack self-preservation.
"Lon," Ellie said, appearing at my elbow. She handed me a granola bar. "Eat. You're staring at your hands like you've never seen them before."
"Just thinking about the test tomorrow," I said, tearing open the wrapper. "I want to make sure there are contingencies in place."
"Sounds lovely," Ellie deadpanned. "Don't die. I finally got used to your cat."
"Marcus already called dibs on Nephy," I clarified.
"Leave it to that boy to try to score points even in the afterlife," Ellie said. Then we all laughed. It was a good distraction.
We reached the summit. The view was spectacular—the Pacific Ocean on one side, the "green"-ish Santa Cruz Mountains on the other. Below us, the Agonwood campus resembled a circuit board, and I wondered if Alex had designed it that way.
I could see the roof of the rowhouses. I could see the gap between Unit 2 and Unit 3 where Julian had dared me to jump. I could see the black SUV parked outside The Barn, the heavy aluminum rack gleaming on the roof.
"So," Dan said, sitting on a large rock and patting the space next to him. "Real talk. How long is this fellowship you got roped into here?"
I sat down, careful to keep a few inches of distance. "As long as it takes to solve the problem."
"And then?" Dan asked. "You go back to Morgantown? You defend your thesis? You return to the land of reasonable rent prices?"
I looked at the ocean. I thought about the sticky note wall in my living room. I thought about the pink note that said JULIAN VANE stuck right in the middle of the danger zone.
"I thought you wanted me to come out here. It would be hard to go back to Morgantown without you two."
"It's him, isn't it?" Dan said quietly. "Vane."
"It's the work, Dan."
"It's Vane," Dan corrected. He picked up a pebble and threw it down the slope. "I saw the way he looked at you at the barbecue. I saw the way he tracked you at the club. And I saw you, Lon. You look at him like he's the only person in the room."
"There is no way that is true," I whispered.
"He's a black hole," Dan said. "He pulls everything in. And spaghettification hurts, Lon."
I smiled a little at the physics reference. "You do pay attention to my ramblings," I praised. "I know the risks, Dan. I've calculated the escape velocity." I was still lying.
I have no clue what I'm doing.
"Have you?" Dan looked at me, his brown eyes sad and kind. "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you've already crossed the event horizon."
"It's hard to have a serious conversation about this when I'm so proud of your metaphors," I said, which wasn't entirely untrue.
Ellie giggled, but Dan scoffed. "I read," he sulked.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
I pulled it out immediately, like a conditioned response.
[VANE]: Status check. Did you review the revised
discharge protocols on the new switch?
I typed back instantly.
[Lon]: Yes. I made some suggestions for redundancy
and sent the specs to Dave and Marcus.
[VANE]: Good. Enjoy your walk.
I stared at the screen. "Enjoy your walk." He knew exactly where I was. He was probably watching the GPS dot on my phone, or maybe he was watching from his patio with binoculars.
The thought should have been creepy. Instead, it felt like an invisible, steadying hand.
"See?" Dan said, nodding at the phone. "You're not even here. You're down there."
"It's not…" I sighed. Then continued with, "Don't you ever feel ill-prepared for what life throws at you? Like stuff you should have figured out a long time ago had somehow eluded you until now?"
"Who doesn't?" Ellie responded. "I mean, I look like I have it all figured out, so I'm a terrible example. But, I can sympathize with the rest of you," she said with a mischievous grin. It made me smile instantly.
"I'm sorry to make you guys worry. But you don't have to," I said. "People like Julian, like Alex… they exist in a whole different universe that I'll never be able to understand let alone navigate." I stood up and brushed off the back of my pants. "I'm here, you know?" I held my hand out at knee level. "And they are like…" I jumped with my arm extended as high as I could get it. "Way, way, way up here."
"That's ridiculous," Dan scowled. "You're at least…" he put his hand even with his own head and moved it up and down. "… somewhere around here."
"Why do you have my position constantly changing in your example?"
"Well here," Dan extended his hand upward. "Is when you come over for noodles, watch B-movies and hang out with your friends." Then he moved his hand to an exaggerated low. "And this is when you let anyone think you're less than brilliant."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Lon, you should know better than to try the humble act in front this himbo."
I reached for his hand to try to move it upward, but he blocked me with his body as if we were on a basketball court. "Pfft. You goof. You don't actually have anything in your hand, you know," I said, pointing out there was nothing to protect so fiercely.
After a moment, he settled down and we started the next leg of the hike.
"Seriously, though," I continued after some thought. "I'm not delusional enough to think I'm anything more than an asset they manage."
"Well, that's easy. Anyone can manage you," Ellie quipped. "Just dangle some data of an unsolvable problem and watch as you salivate."
"Hey! You're both so harsh today," I said with a soft giggle. "But speaking of salivating… I could really go for some of those noodles, right now." Ellie and Dan glared at me because I had chosen work over the noodles Dan had brought across the country just to give me a taste of home.
Ellie looked at Dan. Dan looked at Ellie.
I feared what they were conspiring, so I took off ahead of them before I could get caught and called back. "Race you to the top!"
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Timeline: 16:00
Location: The Commons
We spent the afternoon pretending Sunday was normal. We watched a movie. We ate whatever leftovers were still in the fridge. We talked about Ellie's residency interviews.
But the air was thin. The clock was ticking toward Monday.
At 18:00, I stood up.
"I have to go," I said. "If I don't prep a little for tomorrow, I'll be awake all night thinking about it."
"Go," Ellie said, hugging me. "Go save the world, or whatever it is you do down there."
"I'll text you," I said.
"You better," Dan said. He hugged me hard, lifting me off my feet one last time. "Don't forget to sleep."
I walked out of the Guest Suites and across the gravel to the staff rowhouses. The transition was physical. As soon as I crossed the threshold of the Commons, I shifted modes. The soft, nostalgic comfort of my friends faded, replaced by the sharp anticipation of the project.
I walked into Unit 3. The wall of sticky notes was still there. The pink note with JULIAN VANE written on it seemed to glow in the early dusk light.
I went to my room and pulled out my duffel bag that had been tossed in the back of my closet.
I went through my mental inventory: Work clothes. Jeans. Thick socks. My blazer. And heavy-duty, electrical hazard rated, rubber-soled combat boots. They were ugly, heavy and perfect. I packed them.
My phone buzzed.
[ALEX]: Safety team has swept the perimeter of the
factory. We are clear for entry at 0900. Get some
rest, Lonna.
Then, a second buzz.
[VANE]: Gym at 05:00. Equipment check starts at
07:00.
I sat on the edge of my bed looking at the two messages. Nephy hopped up beside me, purring.
I responded to Alex: "Thanks. I will."
I responded to Julian: "Yes, Sir."