Lila's stomach muscles tightened as the plane moved down the runway. Movement should have helped; but sometimes movement only made things worse. She was sitting by the window. The snow had stayed in Alaska. But the cold had come with it.
—Breathe, she told herself.
The seat next to her was empty. Billy had missed out at the last minute. Sandra's gaze was palpable, even on the other end of the phone.
—This isn't over, Billy had said. —Nothing ever ends here.
The plane took off.
***Diary – 1***
Lila opened her notebook. This notebook was no longer for remembering; it was for enduring.
"No estoy bien. Finjo movimiento para no sentir el vacío."
(I'm not well. I'm pretending to move so I don't feel the emptiness.)
"Si me detengo, todo me alcanza."
(If I stop, everything will catch up to me.)
Her fingers ached when she closed the pen.
Canada – Intermediate Stop
Toronto was cold, but not like Alaska. People moved faster. No one looked at anyone else. Lila liked that.
Ashley was on the phone.
—Did Hiro speak? —Indirectly. There are gaps in the file. Deliberate gaps. —What does that mean? —Someone wants to slow you down.
Lila laughed. A nervous laugh.
—Slow down? Let them try.
Her hands trembled when she hung up the phone. Anger was the only thing keeping her going.
***Diary – 2***
"La rabia es más honesta que la esperanza."
(Anger is more honest than hope.)
"La esperanza promete. La rabia actúa." (Hope promises. Anger acts.)
After writing these lines, she closed the notebook. He was afraid of himself.
---Billy – From a Distance---
Billy was alone at the police station. While Lila's plane was in the air, he had been called to his desk.
—There's an access violation, said his superior. —System error. —This error finds you, Billy.
Billy fell silent. This wasn't a defense; it was an admission.
Sandra – Tracking
Sandra leaned over the computer screen. Timeline, flight records, passport scans.
—Canada, she said. —Then Asia.
This wasn't a guess. It was a conviction.
—You're not running away, she whispered. —You're planning.
This sentence wasn't for Lila. It was for Billy.
---Lila – Explosion---
The security line at the airport was long. An officer held her passport for too long.
—Is there a problem? —Standard check.
—Is it standard to keep me waiting?
The voice rose. People looked.
—Calm down, madam. —I'm not calm.
This confession surprised even him.
***Diary – 3***
"Estoy perdiendo la paciencia, y quizás también la versión buena de mí."
(I am losing my patience, and perhaps also the good version of myself.)
"No me gusta quién soy cuando me enojo, pero no puedo parar." (I don't like who I am when I'm angry, but I can't stop.)
These lines were like looking in a mirror.
Night – Hotel Room
The room was small. The silence was vast. Lila sat on the edge of the bed.
She looked at her phone. No messages. This emptiness was heavier than any messages.
—What if I'm on the wrong path?
No reply came.
***Diary – 4***
"Si ella no quiere ser encontrada, ¿por qué yo necesito encontrarla?"
(If she doesn't want to be found, why do I need to find her?)
"Perhaps I'm not looking for her. Perhaps I'm looking for myself."
This thought made Lila cry.
Ashley – Warning
Ashley's voice was harsh this time.
—Something came from Hiro. —Is it alright? —Dangerous.
—Continue. —The file points to a physical archive in Tokyo. Not digital. —I'll go. —You're not alone.
Lila took a deep breath.
—I am alone, she said. —But I'm used to it.
***Diary – 5***
"Hope is not light. It is a wound that does not close."
"Continuing to search for duel less than accepting." (Continuing to search hurts less than acceptance.)
The notebook's pages were full. Lila's inner self wasn't.
---Chapter 3 – Closing---
Lila turned off the lights. She placed the notebook beside her bed. She didn't want to sleep; but her body needed it.
Tomorrow, Asya, she thought.
On the notebook's cover, there was a single word in handwriting:
Buscar.
(Look for)
This time, it wasn't about escaping.