The worst part about loving someone is realizing they never loved you the same way.
My chest felt fight.
Like someone had reached inside me and ripped my heart out.
They say love is supposed to be soft and safe.
Nobody tells you it can leave you standing outside a party humiliated, mascara running down your face, shaking like you're the one who did something wrong.
I didn't stop walking.
I didn't know where I was going….I just knew I couldn't stay there.
Not after the way he looked at me, or the way everyone watched.
I walked until my heels started hurting. Then I took my shoes off, and kept going.
My hands kept shaking.
I reached for my phone, and pressed the broken screen.
The screen was black.
I pressed the power button again and again.
It still didn't come on.
"No… no, no," I whispered, my voice started trembling. "Please, no…don't do this to me."
I remembered it slipping from my hand earlier, hitting the floor.
"Fuck!" I cursed out loud. "Just perfect."
I had no cash. No ride. And no way home.
And my parents would be back any minute.
I kept walking until I spotted a convenience store.
"Excuse me," I said to the man behind the counter. "Can I… can I plug in my phone? It's dead."
He eyed me for a second, then nodded and pointed.
I plugged it in.
The screen stayed black.
I tapped it, shook it, and held the power button. It still didn't come on.
My chest tightened.
"No! No! No!" I yelled, throwing the phone on the counter. It bounced off the edge.
The man snapped, "Hey! Get out. I don't need trouble in here."
I stumbled back outside, sank to the ground beneath a tree, and finally let it all out.
I cried silently.
I hated myself. I hated Lily. I hated Owen. I hated that I'd been so stupid.
I had known better. I should've stayed home. They were right. I wasn't supposed to come.
I buried my face in my knees, crying harder.
I should've listened to mom.
I was cold, tired, and humiliated.
I didn't know how I was going to get home.
I wiped my tears with the back of my sleeve and stood up. The night had grown colder. The streets were empty.
I stood up and kept walking.
I spotted a phone booth tucked beside a closed laundromat.
I walked over, fumbling with the receiver, my hands kept shaking so much I almost dropped it.
I dialed home.
It started ringing.
Then….
"Hello?"
Mom.
My voice broke. "Mom. Please come get me."
"Evelyn?" Her voice cracked instantly. "Where are you?"
"I'm sorry," I cried. "I shouldn't have gone. I should've listened to you. I messed up."
"Where are you?" she repeated.
"I… I went to a party. I didn't think… I just… I shouldn't have," I sobbed. "Please… please come get me."
I gave her the address.
"Okay. Stay there. We're coming," she said. "Don't move. Don't do anything stupid."
I nodded even though she couldn't see me, hugging myself like I could somehow make it through the night.
Ten minutes later, their car pulled up.
Mom jumped out before it even stopped.
"Evelyn!" she cried, running toward me.
She pulled me into her arms.
"Where have you been? Do you know how scared we were?"
Dad rushed around the car. "What happened? Talk to me. Why didn't you call?"
"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I should've stayed home. I shouldn't have gone to the party. I was wrong. I was so wrong."
Mom pulled back, wiping my face. "We got home and the house was empty."
My heart skipped.
What does she mean empty?
I froze.
"What do you mean, where's Ethan?" My throat went dry.
Her eyes went wide. "We checked everywhere. No one is home."
"I… I left Ethan asleep in his bed."
Mom froze.
"You what?!" Her voice cracked.
"I….I tucked him in," I stammered. "He was asleep. He was fine. I swear."
Her face crumpled.
"No one is home Evelyn," she started panicking. "We came back and the house was empty. The doors were unlocked. The lights were on. Ethan's bed was empty."
Dad tried to stay calm. "Hey. Maybe he got scared. Maybe he woke up and went looking for Eve."
My stomach dropped.
"Didn't you even lock the door?" Mom snapped at me.
I tried to remember. My mind replayed everything.
"I… I don't know," I whispered. "I wasn't thinking."
Mom grabbed her hair. "Oh my God. Oh my God. My baby is out there alone."
Her voice broke.
"He's just a child."
"I didn't mean to…." Tears started spilling down my face. "I just… I just wanted to go to the party. I didn't think…"
"….you didn't think?" Mom cut me off, raising her voice. "Ethan is your brother! Your responsibility! And you just left him like he's nothing!"
Dad grabbed her arm gently. "Honey, yelling won't help. We'll find him. We'll go to the station. He's going to be okay."
He opened the car door. "We'll search the neighborhood. We'll go to the station."
The drive started in silence.
Mom stared out the window, chewing her fingers together.
"What if we don't find him?" she whispered. "What if something happened to him?"
Dad glanced at her. "Stop. Don't think like that."
"What if he got kidnapped?" she cried. "What if he wandered into the road?"
"Please," Dad said. "We found Eve. We'll find Ethan too."
Her head snapped toward me.
"You left him alone."
My heart stopped.
"You chose a party over your brother," she said. "You didn't even lock the door."
"I didn't mean to…."
"….You never mean to!" she yelled again. "You're selfish. You're reckless. You only care about yourself!"
Dad snapped, "Enough!"
"No, not enough!" she screamed. "This is on her. If anything happens to my son…"
"Stop it," Dad said, turning the wheel. "Stop blaming her! Yelling won't help. She knows it was wrong…now we fix it."
"And whose fault is it then?" Mom cried. "Yours? You never discipline her. You let her do whatever she wants!"
"I trusted her," he said. "She said she'd stay."
"I said I would," I whispered. "I swear I did."
I buried my face in my hands. "It's my fault… it's all my fault. If anything happens to him, it's because of me."
My chest tightened.
"I'm scared!" Mom wailed.
I pressed my hands over my ears. "I'm scared too! I'm scared too! I….he's my brother! My little brother! And I….."
"I can't breathe," I gasped, holding my chest. "I can't….I can't…Dad!"
"Eve?" Dad said, glancing at me in the mirror.
My ears rang.
"This is my fault," I sobbed. "I can't breathe well."
Mom started crying.
"Eve!" Dad turned toward me from the front seat. "Look at me. Look at me!"
The car felt too small. My chest kept hurting. My heart was racing so fast.
Suddenyly, a truck's headlights filled the windshield.
"Johnnnn!" Mom screamed.
The truck was right in front of us.
Dad swerved.
Glass shattered.
And everything went blank…except from the ringing in my ears.