My heart raced louder as the wind howled around me, pulling me into deep thought. I felt lost, trapped between fear and hope. My hands trembling on my lap in fear.
I was pregnant.
How would he react when he found out? Would he still love me the same ? What would become of us_of the future we had planned together? I was far too young for this,I told myself.
Yet would my age truly matter if he didn't turn me away? We were only just getting into college- how could we possibly build a life for ourselves, let alone raise a child? And then there were our parents. I couldn't imagine my mother's reaction let alone his parent's. The thought of it alone frightens me.
I was so consumed by my thoughts that I failed to notice the elderly woman beside me until she tapped me gently on the back, pulling me back to present.
"Young lady, are you alright?"she asked softly.
I tried to wipe away the tears in my eyes and could only nod, offering a weak reassurance that I was fine.
Realizing it was getting dark, I rose from the bench and hurried home before my mother returned from her salon. The least thing I needed, amid the chaos already unfolding in my life, was to get on her nerves for returning home late.
The walk home seemed longer than usual, probably because I walked slowly, dragging my wobbling feet along the cold street. When I arrived at my doorstep, I slipped my hand into the leather bag I was holding and reached for my key.
"Mom isn't home yet," I murmured, letting out a sigh of relief.
I walked straight to my room, shutting the door behind me. Dropping my bag on the bed, I headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Afterwards I slipped into a black nightgown. It felt as though I was mourning my own doom.
I returned to the bed, picked up the bag, and began unpacking it so I could hang it away. My fingers brushed against a white envelope inside. As I pulled it out, I froze in place, my breath shallow, my hands trembling as though the light paper in my grasp carried the weight of the world.
"Congratulations, Miss Riley Smith. Your PT test result is out," the doctor had said with a grin as he handed me the envelope.
My heart raced in horror as I quietly opened, my eyes landing on the word written in bold ink :
POSITIVE....
The word echoed in my mind now. In fear I pressed my palm against my abdomen, as though I could already feel something there_something real, something alive. Fear tightened its grip around my chest.
"Is everything alright, Miss Riley?" The doctor asked, his tone calm but uncertain.
"Yes" I replied, though it sounded more like a whisper meant for myself . Somehow, he heard it anyway.
"Please take the result to the scan room for an abdominal scan to determine the state of the foetus and number of weeks ....."
He was still speaking, when I cut in, my voice trembling. "I...I.... I don't think that would be necessary for now, I would return for that."
I didn't need a scan result to tell me how far along I was. From my own calculation, I already knew it was about two months. I had missed my period twice since that night at the party with Jimmy _ my boyfriend.
I rose from my seat, preparing to take my leave. "Thank you for today," I said, and the doctor offered me a reluctant smile. The scent of antiseptic hung thick in the air, mixing with the low hum of the ceiling fan as my heart beat too loudly in my ears. My mind drifted back to the night of the party.
I was dressed in a red, form-fitting gown that revealed just enough to make me feel bold, paired with gold heels that complemented the jewelry set I wore. I moved gracefully through the crowd, confidence guiding my steps as I scanned the room filled with people dancing and drinking, searching for my prince charming. My blonde hair flowed freely down my back, catching the light with every movement and complementing my smooth, light skin.
"You look astonishingly beautiful tonight, my queen," a thick, soft masculine voice murmured behind me.
I pulsed at the sound of it. My heart beat wildly with excitement, butterflies erupting in my stomach. For a moment, it felt as though the world had frozen, leaving space only for the two of us, young and deeply in love. I couldn't hide my smile as I slowly turned to meet his gaze, his eyes locking onto mine.
"Forever beautiful for you, my king," I replied, grinning like a child who had just been handed her favorite toy.
Music throbbed through the room, loud and intoxicating. The air was warm, heavy with perfume, sweat, and spilled alcohol drinks.
Jimmy leaned closer, his hand finding mine with a familiarity that made my heart flutter. We laughed, danced, and lost ourselves in the moment, the rest of the world fading into a distant blur. Every touch felt electric, every glance promising forever_even if neither of us truly understood what forever meant.
Time slipped past unnoticed. One drink turned into another, the music growing louder, our laughter softer and more private. Somewhere between the spinning lights and his whispered words, caution dissolved. I felt untouchable, invincible, wrapped in the illusion that nothing could go wrong, not tonight, not with him.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he breathed softly, leaning in to kiss my neck. He gently brushed my hair away from my shoulder, and I felt the warmth of his breath against my skin as my thoughts began to spiral.
Innocently, I nodded, granting him silent permission to continue.
I didn't know whether it was the alcohol coursing through my veins that made me feel so bold, or simply the way he made the world disappear when he was close. Whatever the reason, I didn't want to think too deeply about it. In that moment, all I wanted was to feel him. closer, longer, completely.
With my silent approval, he lifted me into his arms and carried me upstairs, to a room not far from the party, yet distant and private enough to feel like the world is ours alone. The music below faded into a dull echo as the door closed behind us.
His touch was gentle but sure, and my thoughts blurred as I let myself drift, surrendering to the warmth, the closeness, the illusion that nothing beyond that room mattered.
The memory dissolved as quickly as it had come.
"Riley! Riley, where has this child gone to, at this late hour?" my mother muttered outside my bedroom door, thinking I wasn't home. Groaning softly, I walked over and opened the door, only to meet her furious stare.
"What have you been doing since? Didn't you hear me calling when I returned?" she demanded.
Without hesitation, I replied in a coarse voice, "I slept off, Ma."
I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed when she came into the house or how long she had been calling my name from the other side of the door.
"All you do is sleep and sleep," she continued. "You barely do any work in this house lately. I hope you've had dinner?"
"Yes," I lied. I had no appetite that night, but telling her the truth would only stir trouble_long talks, endless advice, questions I wasn't ready to answer.
She peeped into my room. "Look at how messed up this place is. Tidy it up and get a good night's rest. I was just checking to be sure you hadn't slept out late again."
With that, she turned and walked away.
"Good night, Mom," I said quietly as she disappeared into her room.
Lying on my bed, one truth became painfully clear as I tried to fall asleep: the hardest part wasn't what I was carrying in my stomach, it was facing the future I was not ready for.