Kavien woke before the sun.
The house was quiet, the kind of quiet that felt heavy rather than peaceful. He lay still for a moment, listening. His father's room was silent. No movement came from outside. Only his own breathing filled the space.
The blue haze was faint inside the room.
It hovered near the ceiling, thin and scattered, like it did not belong indoors. Kavien sat up slowly and placed his feet on the floor. The stone was cold, sending a chill up his legs.
He rubbed his hands together and exhaled.
He had learned to wake early because mornings were the only time the world did not expect anything from him.
Kavien straightened his back and rested his hands on his knees, copying the posture he had been taught. His long hair fell forward, brushing his chest. The purple at the ends caught the weak light from the window. He pushed it aside and closed his eyes.
He breathed in.
The air entered his lungs easily at first. Then the mana touched him.
The pressure came slowly this time. It pressed against his chest, not sharp, not sudden, but firm. Like something testing its strength against him.
Kavien tried to stay calm. But he knows what is he going through inside. The uncertainity of why he is weird and not normal. This was killing him inside. But he tried to ignore it all together
He focused on his breathing, just like the instructor had taught them. Slow in. Slow out. Do not force it.
The pressure grew heavier.
His chest tightened. His heartbeat slowed, then jumped suddenly. The mana did not move inward. It stayed at the surface, pushing and pulling without settling.
Kavien stopped. He is unsure of everything.
He opened his eyes and leaned back against the wall, breathing through the discomfort until it faded.
It always ended like this.
The mana never accepted him. It never stayed. It treated him like something that did not belong.
Others described their first absorption as warmth spreading through their bodies. As strength waking up inside them. The mana circuit getting awakened. As the mana was travelling through nodes they felt stronger.
For Kavien, it felt like being shut out. He was only feeling numb and fatigue
He stood and dressed quietly.
Later that morning, the city was already awake.
Kavien walked through the streets with his hands in his pockets. People moved around him with purpose, their bodies steady and confident. Mana shimmered faintly around most of them, responding naturally to their movements.
He noticed the small things. They made sense to his heart but not to his brain and not to his own soul.
A merchant reinforced his grip before lifting a crate. A guard shifted his weight, mana settling into his legs without thought. Even children ran and jumped with balance, Kavien did not have any.
It was everywhere. Literally everywhere
And it answered everyone but him. This confused him more.
He stopped near a stone railing that overlooked the lower roads.
Below, beasts worked.
They moved in slow, heavy lines, carrying stone blocks, pulling carts, and standing where they were told. Their bodies were scarred and worn, marked by years of labor and restraint. Chains rattled softly as handlers moved among them, shouting orders.
Kavien leaned against the railing and watched.
He had always watched the beasts.
He did not remember when it started. Only that it had never stopped. Something about them pulled at him in a way he could not explain. It was not only sympathy. It was not only anger.
It felt personal. He kept looking at them non stop. Some were talking, Some were working. He was watching them from above, with the want of going down.
A beast stumbled under its load and paused, breathing heavily.
A handler struck it without hesitation.
The sound echoed through the stone roads.
Kavien's hands tightened on the railing.
The beast lowered its head and continued moving.
No one reacted.
Kavien turned away, his jaw tight.
That afternoon, he followed his father to the beast-handling grounds.
His father walked slower than he used to. His shoulders were tense, and his breathing was shallow. The tools he carried clinked softly with each step.
They did not talk much.
At the grounds, the air was thick with noise. Chains rattled. Beasts were guided between enclosures. Orders were shouted and repeated.
Kavien stayed near the edge, watching.
One of the beasts looked at him.
Its eyes were tired but alert. For a brief moment, their gazes met.
Kavien felt a strange pull in his chest.
Not pain.
Recognition.
The moment passed quickly. The beast was pulled away, guided by force and habit.
"Do not stare," his father said quietly. "They notice."
Kavien nodded.
They left before sunset.
That evening, the house felt heavier than usual.
Kavien ate in silence and returned to his room early. He sat on the floor, legs crossed, hands resting on his knees. The blue haze drifted lazily around him, faint but present.
He hesitated.
Then he closed his eyes and tried again.
He did not force the mana. He did not reach for it. He simply breathed.
The mana responded.
It drifted closer than before, slow and cautious. It brushed against his chest, and for the first time, the pressure did not come immediately.
Warmth spread through him.
It was faint, unsteady, but real.
Kavien's breath caught.
Hope flared before he could stop it.
The pressure surged.
Pain bloomed behind his ribs, sharper than anything he had felt before. His chest burned. His heartbeat raced wildly. The mana scattered violently, crashing through his body instead of settling.
Something else moved.
Not mana.
Something deeper.
Kavien gasped and broke his focus, collapsing forward with his hands against the floor. His breathing came in sharp bursts. His vision blurred.
The pain faded slowly, leaving him shaking.
He stayed there for a long time, head lowered, hair falling around his face.
This was wrong.
Mana was meant to respond to control and discipline.
What he felt was not control.
It felt alive.
Eventually, Kavien lay back on the floor and stared at the ceiling, breathing slowly until his heart steadied.
He thought of the beasts.
He thought of how their strength came from instinct, not structure. From alignment, not control.
The thought unsettled him.
Sleep came late and uneasy.
His dreams were broken and restless. Heat. Pressure. A sense of being watched. Of something vast waiting behind a thin wall.
Kavien woke suddenly.
Morning light filled the room.
His chest felt tight but not painful.
He sat up slowly and pressed a hand against his sternum.
Something had changed.
He could not explain it. He only knew the resistance felt different now.
Not weaker.
Not stronger.
Aware.
Kavien stood and dressed.
Outside, the city moved as it always did.
People breathed the blue air.
Beasts labored below.
And Kavien walked between them, belonging fully to neither.
Whatever the air refused to give him, something else had begun to answer.
And that frightened him more than failure ever had.