The soft glow of sunset spilled into the university dorm room, painting the walls with shades of pink and gold. Enny sat cross-legged on her bed, her laptop balanced on her knees, though her eyes weren't really on the screen. Her notebook lay open beside her, filled with messy scribbles, half written stories, and tiny hearts doodled in the margins. Her mind, as always, had wandered far away somewhere between reality and imagination, somewhere she could think of him. Neo Hou.
She had admired him since SS3, the last year of secondary school, and even now, in her second year at the university, the flutter in her chest had never faded. It wasn't just that he was handsome; it was the way he moved, spoke, and carried himself in dramas and interviews. Calm, confident, and kind, he had a presence that lingered long after the screen went dark. He had become more than a celebrity to Enn he was a source of inspiration, a star she could safely chase in her imagination.
Ever since that first night in secondary school when she had stumbled across one of his dramas online, Enny had been captivated. She remembered the quiet thrill of discovering him, the way her heart had skipped as he appeared on screen. From that moment, she had learned everything she could about him, the shows he starred in, interviews he gave, awards he had won, even his zodiac signs. Leo. Ox. She had read countless articles dissecting his personality, noting how his calm confidence matched the traits described for both. And though she sometimes reminded herself it was a crush, deep down, she knew it was more than that it was admiration, inspiration, and a sense of wonder that lit a quiet fire in her heart.
Her door creaked, and her roommate, Esther, popped her head in, holding a bottle of water.
"Enny, are you still lost in your little world?" she teased, setting the bottle on the desk. "You've been sitting here for hours. Do you even hear the real world anymore?"
Enny laughed softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm… just thinking," she said, careful not to sound too silly. She wasn't just day dreaming at least, not entirely. Her thoughts were alive, weaving between her daily life and the imaginary moments she constructed with him.
Esther smirked. "Let me guess… it's him again, isn't it?"
Enny's cheeks warmed, but she nodded. "Maybe," she admitted. "But it's… different now. I know it's just imagination. I know the age difference. I know it's not real. I'm careful."
Esther plopped down on the bed beside her. "I don't get it, but I get it. You've been like this for years, Enny. Since secondary school. But I like that you're… responsible about it. At least your heart isn't getting hurt."
Enny smiled, the warmth of friendship easing her embarrassment. "It's more than just liking him," she confessed softly. "It… inspires me. Watching him or reading about him makes me want to do better, to write, to create. To imagine a world where I can be brave."
Esther shook her head in mock exasperation. "You really are something else. I don't understand it, but I like seeing you happy. I think that's what matters."
Enny nodded, her heart fluttering for reasons entirely unrelated to anything real. She turned back to her laptop, opening her notebook. She had a little ritual she did every evening: write to him. Not for him to read he would never see it but for her. To capture the feelings that swirled in her chest. To keep them safe, alive, and inspiring.
Dear Neo Hou…
The words formed slowly at first, each letter a delicate thread. She wrote about his dramas, the way he delivered lines, the quiet strength in his expressions. She wrote about her own life classes, lectures, friends, the little victories and failures that made up her daily routine. And she wrote about the way he had become a guiding light in her imagination, a presence that gently pushed her to be more creative, more confident, more herself.
As she wrote, the room seemed to shift. In her mind's eye, Neo Hou appeared, softly glowing, standing just beyond the doorway. His presence was gentle, comforting, and impossibly real. He smiled, not in a romantic way he didn't have to but in a way that made her feel seen, acknowledged, and inspired. He didn't speak, yet somehow, she felt he was encouraging her to continue, to keep chasing her dreams, to keep writing.
Enny's heart fluttered, and she laughed quietly at herself. It's just imagination, she reminded herself. Safe. Harmless. Inspiring.
Hours passed unnoticed. The sky outside deepened into shades of purple and indigo, stars beginning to twinkle faintly. Enny's pen moved frantically across the page, recording her feelings, her thoughts, her dreams. The story she was writing half diary, half letter, half fantasy was alive. And in those moments, the fluttering of her heart was a tangible thing, warm and comforting.
Her phone buzzed, breaking the spell. A notification from her fan account appeared: "Your writing is beautiful. Keep going!"
Even though it wasn't him, Enny felt a surge of joy. Someone else had recognized her thoughts, her effort, her creativity. It reminded her that admiration could move beyond her imagination, that inspiration could ripple outward, even if it started as a private, quiet flame.
She leaned back, closing her eyes for a moment. "Thank You, God," she whispered, "for giving me this joy, this inspiration, this little light in my heart."
Being a Christian girl, she reminded herself often to keep her admiration respectful, to honor boundaries, and to channel her feelings into creativity rather than obsession. Loving him in her imagination was safe, pure, and powerful in its own way. It taught her courage, patience, and the beauty of inspiration.
When she opened her eyes again, the room was darker now, illuminated only by the faint glow of her laptop and the soft shimmer of starlight outside. In her mind, Neo Hou remained there gentle, glowing, and inspiring. He was far away, unattainable, and yet somehow present in the most meaningful ways.
Enny smiled. She knew this was just the beginning. Her admiration had started in SS3, had grown through high school, and now, in university, it had become a part of her identity her imagination, her creativity, and her heart.
And in that quiet dorm room, surrounded by the warm colors of the sunset fading into night, Enny felt something extraordinary: she had a star in her heart, a safe, shining flame that would guide her for years to come.
Her journey had begun years ago, and now it was only starting to unfold in new, unexpected ways.