Chapter 1: The Banana Peel of Destiny and the Orange Jumpsuit Mishap part-1
To the editor: I have already checked the entire story with the Gemini and there is no problem with the content guidelines. All the characters in the plot are 18 years or older. Please don't misunderstand and cause trouble for me. Thank you…
My life on Earth was defined by a single, overwhelming emotion: mortification. I was not just shy; I was pathologically incapable of human interaction. If a cashier looked me in the eye, I would apologize.
If a dog barked at me, I would assume I had offended its ancestors. I was twenty-five years old, and my greatest achievement was managing to buy groceries without fainting from social anxiety.
It was a Tuesday, a day that felt suspiciously normal. I was walking down the street, clutching my handbag as if it contained state secrets, when I saw him. Mark. The barista from the coffee shop. He was walking toward me.
(Oh no. Oh no, no, no. He is looking this way. He is going to say hello. I am not prepared for a hello. My vocal cords are not warmed up. I am going to squeak like a dying mouse.)
Mark smiled and raised his hand. "Hey there! Nice weather we are having, right?" he said.
My brain short-circuited. Instead of saying "Yes, it is," or "Good morning," my fight-or-flight response kicked in. I chose flight. I spun around on my heel with the grace of a startled gazelle, intending to sprint in the opposite direction.
Unfortunately, the universe had placed a literal banana peel on the pavement. I stepped on it.
(Wait, do people actually slip on these? I thought that was just in cartoons!)
My legs flew up above my head. Time seemed to slow down. I saw the horrified look on Mark's face. I saw the blue sky. And then, I saw the hard concrete rushing up to meet the back of my head.
Bonk.
That was it. I died because I was too shy to say hello to a barista and slipped on a fruit peel. It was a fitting end, really.
"Hinata? Hinata Hyuga? Are you listening to me?"
The voice was loud and stern. It echoed in my ears, pulling me out of the darkness. I blinked my eyes open. Everything looked strange. The colors were slightly desaturated, and my field of vision seemed wider than usual, almost as if I could see behind my own head if I focused hard enough.
I looked down at my hands. They were small. Pale. And I was wearing a mesh shirt under a cream-colored hoodie.
(Wait a minute. I know this hoodie. I have seen this hoodie on my television screen a thousand times. This is the Konoha Academy uniform.)
I looked up. Standing in front of a chalkboard, holding a piece of chalk and looking mildly annoyed, was Iruka Umino. He had the scar across his nose and his hair tied up in that signature ponytail.
"I asked you a question, Hinata," Iruka said, tapping the board. "What is the primary rule of ninja stealth?"
I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. My face immediately heated up. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I looked around the room. To my left, a boy with a puppy on his head was snoring. To my right, a boy with dark glasses and a high collar sat in silence.
(I am Hinata Hyuga. I have died and reincarnated into the world of Naruto. And of all the people I could be, I am the one person who is even shyer than I was in my past life!)
"I... I..." I stammered, poking my index fingers together instinctively.
Before I could embarrass myself further, a strange sound rang inside my head. It sounded like a cheerful doorbell.
[Ding!]
[System Initialization Complete.]
[Welcome, Host. You have successfully bonded with the Lucky Pervert System.]
(The what? Did that voice just say 'Lucky Pervert'?)
[Affirmative,] the voice inside my head replied. It sounded surprisingly casual, like a customer service representative who was bored with their job. [You are a very shy individual. This world is full of serious, brooding, and intense men. The universe has decided to balance your extreme shyness with extreme physical comedy. Congratulations.]
(I do not want physical comedy! I just want to sit here and be invisible!)
[Request denied. Activating Passive Skill: The Rito Effect. Description: The laws of physics will bend to ensure that any male within a five-meter radius has a high probability of suffering an improbable fall that results in accidental physical intimacy with the Host.]
(What?! That sounds horrible! That is the opposite of being invisible!)
[Do not worry. You get paid for it. Every time you suffer a catastrophic embarrassment, you earn Shy Points. You can use Shy Points to buy ninjutsu, bloodline limit upgrades, and items to help you survive. Good luck, Host. Incident One is initiating in three, two, one...]
"Hey! Let me in! I am going to be the next Hokage, believe it!"
The classroom door slammed open with a force that shook the frame. A boy with bright yellow hair and a loud orange jumpsuit burst into the room. It was Naruto Uzumaki.
My heart skipped a beat. It was actually him. The protagonist. The hero. And currently, the class clown.
"You are late again, Naruto!" Iruka shouted, his face turning red with frustration. "Get to your seat immediately!"
"Hehe, sorry Iruka Sensei!" Naruto laughed, rubbing the back of his head. He began to jog up the stairs of the lecture hall, heading toward an empty seat in the back row.
The path he was taking led him directly past my desk.
(Oh no. The voice said Incident One. Stay calm, Hinata. Just sit very still. If I do not move, physics cannot hurt me.)
Naruto was jogging happily. The floor was flat. There were no obstacles. It was a perfectly safe environment.
However, as he passed my desk, the air seemed to shimmer. Naruto's sandal caught on absolutely nothing. It was as if an invisible hand had grabbed his ankle.
"Whoa!" Naruto yelled.
His momentum carried him forward, but his feet stayed behind. He became a flying orange projectile.
(He is falling. He is falling right toward me!)