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Chapter 11 - Chapter 11: The Horns of Dilemma and the Pheromone Pirate part-3

Chapter 11: The Horns of Dilemma and the Pheromone Pirate part-3

 

Olaf, who was six feet five and built like a barrel, charged at Rick with open arms. "Give me a kiss, you shiny man!"

Rick shrieked. "Get away from me! System! Cancel effect! Cancel effect!"

But the System cooldown was active. Rick scrambled backward, tripping over a chair. Olaf tackled him, wrapping him in a bear hug that cracked ribs.

"Your hair is so... pointy," Olaf cooed, nuzzling Rick's pompadour.

Elara stared at the scene, the pink mist fading from her mind as Rick's concentration broke. She looked at Dalton. "Dalton... is that doctor... dating Olaf?"

"It appears so," Dalton said stoically. "The sea makes men lonely, Elara."

(Oh my god, I can't breathe,) Ethan was wheezing with laughter inside Dalton's head. (This is pure gold. Okay, Dalton, while he is being romanced by the bartender, we need to finish this. He is a Devil Fruit user. They hate water. There is a barrel of water behind the bar for washing glasses. Introduce him to it.)

Dalton nodded. He walked over to the pile of wrestling men. He reached down, grabbed Rick by the back of his leather jacket, and hoisted him into the air with one hand. Olaf was still clinging to Rick's leg, dragging along the floor.

"You have caused a disturbance," Dalton stated.

"Put me down!" Rick flailed. "My dad owns a dealership in the Modern World! I will sue you!"

"I do not know what a dealership is," Dalton said. "But you need to cool off."

Dalton walked to the large water barrel. He dunked Rick headfirst into the freezing water.

"BLUB BLUB BLUB!"

Rick thrashed for a second, then went limp as the weakness of the sea (or in this case, standing water, which works if submerged enough in One Piece logic) nullified his Devil Fruit powers. The pink mist in the room evaporated instantly.

Olaf, the bartender, shook his head. The hearts faded from his eyes. He looked at himself clinging to a pirate's leg. He looked at the pirate in the water barrel.

"Why am I hugging a pirate?" Olaf asked, confused and slightly horrified.

"He tried to seduce you," Dalton said helpfully. "I saved you."

Olaf's face went purple with rage. He stood up, cracking his knuckles. "He did what to my tavern? And he tried to touch me?"

Dalton pulled Rick out of the barrel. Rick was sputtering, his pompadour deflated and hanging over his eyes like a wet rat.

"I..." Rick coughed, water dripping from his nose. "I demand a parley..."

"Get out," Dalton said. His voice was quiet, but it carried the weight of an avalanche. He leaned in close, his bison eyes shifting slightly. "If I see you on this island again, I will not be a Guard. I will be a wild animal. Do you understand?"

Rick looked at Dalton. Then he looked at Olaf, who was holding a heavy iron skillet. Then he looked at Elara, who was looking at him with disgust.

"I hate this world!" Rick sobbed. He scrambled out of Dalton's grip, slipped on a puddle of water, fell on his face, got up, and ran out the broken door into the snowstorm.

"Don't come back!" Olaf shouted, throwing the skillet after him. CLANG! It hit Rick in the back of the head, speeding up his retreat.

...................

Scene: The Aftermath.

The tavern was quiet, save for the whistling wind coming through the broken door.

Dalton turned to Elara. She was still sitting in the booth, looking small and embarrassed.

"Elara," Dalton said gently, his massive form shrinking slightly as he tried to look less intimidating.

"I... I am sorry, Dalton," Elara said, looking down at her hands. "I was stupid. He said he could cure my cold hands. I just... I hate that I can't knit without my fingers going numb."

Dalton felt a pang in his chest. He walked over and knelt beside her. He took her hands in his. His hands were huge, rough, and incredibly warm. He enveloped her cold fingers completely.

"You do not need a pirate to warm your hands," Dalton said earnestly. "I have plenty of heat. I am... very furry in my other form. It retains warmth well."

Elara looked up at him. A small giggle escaped her lips. "Did you just offer to use your bison fur as a hand warmer?"

Dalton blushed, a rare sight for the stoic man. "I... well, functionally speaking, it is efficient. And... I would hold your hands for as long as you need. Even if it takes all day."

(Smooth, big guy. Unexpectedly smooth. You stumbled into romance like you stumble into doors, but it worked.) Ethan commented approvingly.

Elara smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. She leaned forward and kissed Dalton on the cheek. "Thank you for saving me. My hero."

Dalton touched his cheek, stunned. "I... yes. Good."

"But," Elara pointed to the shattered door. "You are paying for that, right?"

Dalton looked at the wreckage. "Ah. Yes. I will deduce it from my salary."

[Incident Report: World 2][Target: Dalton & Elara.][Status: Safe. Relationship Health: 95 percent.][Villain Status: Humiliated, Hypothermia, Fled Island.][Reward: 500 System Points.]

(Alright, not bad,) Ethan thought. (Short, sweet, and plenty of property damage. Just the way I like it.)

"Ethan?" Dalton thought. "Is he gone?"

(For now. But Transmigrators are like cockroaches. He might pop up in Alabasta or Water 7. But you are safe. Just... try to use the doorknob next time, okay?)

"Noted," Dalton replied.

Suddenly, the familiar blue box flashed in Ethan's mind.

[System Alert: Anomaly Detected.][Priority Level: EXTREME.][Location: World 3 - The World of Wizards (Harry Potter Universe).][Target Host: Severus Snape.][Villain Identity: "Lord Blackwood" (Transmigrator from 21st Century Earth).][Villain Objective: To seduce Lily Potter (Evans) using a "Redemption System" before the timeline solidifies. Note: Characters are aged up to University Level for this iteration.]

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